'Learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable is a key to living.'
"Jesus! Lily Samantha. You are not ready yet! I am leaving too you know that?" I get up from my bed with a frown on my lips and follow my mother's voice downstairs to see what is going on.
"For God's sake! What are you wearing?" I rub my eyes with the back of my hand, am not sure what is going on here yet.
I remember earlier going to sleep and now I am being scolded for it. 'Didn't Dad tell us we could go to sleep to get adapted to the time difference, what am being scolded for now?'
"What is going on mom?" She gives me an unbelievable look and I still keep my frown on my face because I don't get what I did wrong yet.
"I can not believe this Lily, Samantha. I don't know what you want from us but one thing that I want from you is that you stop this kind of behavior of yours." I stare at her not knowing what to say or what again am being scolded for.
I just woke up, why does she have to be like this to me when I did nothing wrong?
"But mom? I am not sure of what I did wrong in the first place."
"Okay so now we are doing this? Alright, Lily Samantha, I can't wait for you because your dad is waiting for me to be at the embassy with him to be by his side, he already went with your brother and sister." 'Oh lord, I totally forgot about that welcoming party.'
"Is everyone gone already?"
"Yes and here I thought you were getting ready too but here you are in your PJs." I look down in shame not knowing what to feel or do.
"Am sorry Mom, I overslept but I can get ready quickly." She raises her hand on my shoulder to stop me from going up as I am turning around and I do stop.
"I can not wait for you because as we speak of right now I am already late." I turn around to hear what she is suggesting but no matter what I won't complain because I can imagine the state my father is in right now of not seeing her there with him.
"I am going to go and you go get ready when we reach, I will find you someone to come and get you too so go hurry up." I open my arms and engulf her in a hug.
"I love you, mom. You are the best." She returns the hug and we pull away she wipes the tears away from my cheeks with her thumb that I hadn't even felt yet. I keep on messing up and being ungrateful to my parents and they also keep on pulling up with me, maybe it's time I stop and embrace this new life of mine.
"I love you too my lily." I smile and she kisses me on the cheek before she turns and heads out.
I stand there thinking about myself and what I am becoming as into this adulthood long enough for my legs to hurt from standing and I groan when I realize that I have zoned out.
I jump upstairs and get in the shower to have the quickest shower that I have ever had in the seventeenth years that I have lived.
I get in my closet and I feel like jumping when I realize that everything is set; my shoes, clothes, bags. Everything and I don't even know when it happened but I am thankful to whoever did it.
I lotion my body quickly then I go to put makeup on, before finding what to wear, I always get makeup first because I don't know if it's just me but it can't be just me, right? I always wear makeup first before deciding on what to wear because I get ideas of what to wear from the makeup that I have worn on my face.
When I am done with the makeup! The smile on my face falls when I get in my closet and find nothing interesting enough to catch my eyes I feel like crying but I stop when something starts ringing. I walk back into the room where the sound is coming from and I catch a light from the screen phone and I realize that my dad gave it back to me. I reach for it to read the message that mom sent me that the driver is here and I groan feeling like shit cause am not ready.
I sit down at the end of my bed almost feeling like canceling this night and go back to sleep but when I catch sight of myself in the mirror that is beside my floor-to-ceiling window, I realize that I didn't waste all the touches of makeup for me to take them in my bed.
I stand up and walk into my parent's room and I feel glad when I find the door not locked. I walk into their closet in my mother's clothes and I instantly fall in love with a white jumpsuit that is an off-shoulder and I pick it up with no second thoughts.
I run back to my room and when I wear it. I feel like clicking a hundred pictures to send to a boyfriend that I have never had. 'typical and so dramatic that I am__i know right'
I grin at the stupid ideas that I always converse in my head in times like this.
I do last poses and turn in the mirror before I confirm the outfit I guess I have nothing stopping me from wearing it now except my mother but I will have to confine to her when I get there and I just hope she will understand.
I go in my closet and wear one of my favorite white heels that I own, I am a teenager who is obsessed with heels I can not imagine myself not having dozens of them, who would I be, sneaker does it too for me but I guess they won't be doing it now.
I pack a small purse with my belongings pick up my phone from my nightstand quickly and run downstairs heading out of the house because if I keep doing what I am doing now I might never make it to the gala.
I step foot outside and am frozen by what I find outside. Short brown hair, tight jaw covered with a well-trimmed stubble, the view of a perfectly well-built man leaning on the driver's door knocks the breath out of my lungs. 'What is this? Nobody told me our chauffeurs were looking like this.'
He probably feels me staring and he turns around not giving me a chance to avert my eyes away which isn't like am capable of it, he turns and catches me red-handed drooling at him.
Feeling the embarrassment eat me alive, I lower my head and walk as fast as I can to sit in the back seat of the car. He walks to get the door for me but I beat him to it.
it's not like I have an escape but this is better than standing there being caught drooling over a stranger I just met but boy he is so handsome with a well-built body.
My mind keeps on wandering and I shake it a little and dial my mother's phone to tell her that I am on my way and get my mind away from a stranger man driving the car am in.
The car feels so hot and so suffocating, I feel like I could strip and still be hot the way I am.
Am glad the man is sitting in front and is not looking in the rearview mirror, guess am not eye-catching to him like he is to me but man... his man cologne is not helping my situation either. It's so strong and all over the place.
My mother picks up after a few rings and a sigh inwardly grateful. 'Guess I've never been relieved to be on a call with my mother like I am now.'
"Is something wrong Lily Samantha?" I pursed my lips in confusion about why would she think that something was wrong with me.
"No Mom, I am okay I wanted to let you know that I am on my way coming."
"Good girl! Hurry up we are waiting for you." I smile at her complimenting me because I like it when I am complimented by my parents a lot! But I remember doing something that I am not supposed to be complimented about and I rush out to sell myself out before it becomes something big when I reach.
"And Mom I may have borrowed one of your jumpsuits in your closet, Mom this was a late notice party that you guys surprised us with and I had nothing to wear and of course, I do not know my way here to go and get something of my own so I am sorry that I am wearing your clothes." I hear a chuckle on her side. I don't know if it's me, who made her smile or if it's what she is seeing from where she is.
"Lily, you are so cute! Why don't you ever grow up? Baby girl what is mine is yours and you can keep whatever you want in my closet, now hurry up."
"Miss, we are here!" I look at the driver then outside the window and there is a huge house surrounded by a garden that has trees in there and clean flowers, I look at him and am not going to lie I am surprised at how short the journey was.
"Mom we are here. Let me call you when I get in." She hangs up and I look back at the driver.
"So I get out from here?" He looks at me from the rear mirror and I see his lips pull up to form a smile but he holds himself before he smiles and then clears his throat.
"No, I will stop you at the red carpet over there that is heading in the big doors." I gulp nervously when I realize what he is talking about.
There is a line of cars and we are one of them waiting to reach the carpet where there are a few reporters snapping pictures at everyone getting out of the car.
I feel my heart stop beating when I realize what is going on and I do not like it not even a zero percent if I were to rate it.
"Look man, you are going to find a way to get me in but not by passing on those reporters?"
"Yes ma'am." He says as he turns the car and gets away from the waiting line and keeps on driving.
When we pass the waiting line and head into a parking lot I release a sigh of relief that I have been holding without realizing it.
I love attention but not that of the reporters taking me into the news, not that one.
"And chauffeur please don't ever call me ma'am again, am not that old I am very young and so young that you would be surprised to know my actual age, uh next time call me Sam." He nods his head and am glad to the fact that he is white, this is not about me being racist—No. but a Rwandan chauffeur would have been hard to deal with for a year and it would have been way worse if he knew no English so am thankful also that Dad considered the fact of hiring him, because like this I think we will be having a sense of feeling American vibes around us and to not deal with the problem of the language barrier a lot.
I open the car door but I close it back when I remember I don't even know my way in.
"Something I can help you with Sam?" I turn to look at the guy and I remember I don't even know his name too.
"Yes, but first tell me your name?" He finally lets his guard down and smiles
"Am sorry, I am Trenton Kai Royal from Toronto." I nod
"Long way you had Kai to come from Toronto to America and then Rwanda, I presume you went America because you can't be working from the embassy of America when you have no residence there."
"Yes, you assumed perfectly because I was born in Toronto but my parents divorced and I went with my mother to the States and here I am." I reach up to him and poke his shoulder jokingly.
"Now that makes sense," I say and I look outside to stare at the big house standing in front of me that represents America in this country and I feel sadness fill my heart.
I haven't realize how patriotic I was of America until I was told to move out of it.
"Kai? Do you like it here?" I turn to look at him and he has a sharp look on his face as he looks at me from the rearview mirror.
"I don't know what to answer to that but I do know that I enjoy my responsibility no matter where they would take me." I take a moment to feel that sentence but I am pulled away from it when my phone rings.
I stare at it to see it's my mother.
"Mom?"
"Where are you? I remember you telling me that you arrived but I am not seeing you anywhere?" I frown when I realize that I got caught up with Kai.
"I lost my way in mom, I was about to call you to come and get me in."
"That's fine wait outside. I will come to get you."
I hang up and raise my head to look at Kai and am sure he is mixed because his tanned skin color is so confusing but he rocks it perfectly with those blue eyes.
"Guess we will have to continue this conversation later and I would love to know more if you want to tell me more about your journey from Toronto to America and then here in Rwanda because I also have a lot to share of mine." He smiles and I smile too. 'But that killer smile.'
"Have a good evening Sam." I salute him as I get out of the car.
I make myself presentable and I start making my way to America and I have a smile on my face which I don't know where it is coming from.
And as I reach the big doors I spot my mother waving me to where she is standing and I join her.
She hugs me when I reach her and she smiles while cupping my cheeks in her hands
"You look gorgeous my sweet little girl!" I smile at the compliment.
"Thank you, Mom, and you also look beautiful in case no one has noticed that yet to say it to you." She winks at me before holding my hand with hers and leading me in.
"You lost the chance of being the first one to tell me that when I left you back there in the house, now take it you are the last one I guess."
"Mommy." She laughs and I laugh dropping my pouty off.
We head to where Dad is and he smiles at me and he takes me in a hug before he starts introducing me to his coworkers and friends that are around.
I stay by his side as they go on telling him about how he has been given a good country to represent America from and I keep hearing all that because I have nothing better to do but when their conversation dives into deep politics, I excuse myself to tour this house.
I get on tour around the house on my own because am not finding any of my siblings anywhere and I know they are here but nowhere to be found. I keep on walking around and am fascinated by everything that takes place in this building, seeing the house full of almost white people makes me feel like am at home in America, and am tempted by the thought of spending more time here than any other place in this country.
Am roaming in the library room which is quiet and creepy getting through the books. And I stop when I hear the voice of someone speaking an unfamiliar language,
I move closer to where the person is, trying to stay as hideous as I can but unfortunately, I trip on one of the bookshelves, and the book I was holding falls on the floor making quite a loud voice than what I wanted.
"Oh God that scared me, girl!" I raise my head to look at a black girl standing at the window holding a phone in her hand. Realizing that I am the one she said who scared her I pick up the book quickly and walk to her.
"I am sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. I am Samantha by the way." I give her my hand and she shakes it with hers while the other left-hand raises the phone to her ear and speaks the unfamiliar language again before hanging up and smiling at me.
"Lelia." We pull away and I nod at her.
"That was the Rwandan language you were speaking?" She nods her head.
"It's called Kinyarwanda." I purse my lips wanting to try it but not being sure of how to repeat it.
She looks at me and as if sensing my troubles she pronounces it again with an understandable accent and I repeat over her.
"Keinyailuanda?" She smiles.
"Good. it will come with practice. You are here to visit?" I raise my hands in mid-air not quite knowing how to answer.
"Don't know how to call it but it's more like here to stay at least." She nods understandingly but I don't think she understands.
"Do you like it so far?"
"Want me to be honest?"She nods with a smile on her face.
"Don't be offended after?" She raises her hands in the air as a gesture of surrendering.
"I hate it here!" She quirks an eyebrow at me with a smirk on her lips,
"Harsh. So why are you here if you don't mind me asking?"
I move over to the wall and lean on it while staring in front of me at decks of books.
"My dad was chosen to be the ambassador here from all the way from America and here we are. He wouldn't come alone because it is a permanent post so he brought his whole family and here we are!"
"But you could have stayed if you wanted. I mean you won't live your whole life with him, right? And to me, you are pretty old enough to look after yourself." I sigh in relief at least someone sees that I am grown up.
" I mentioned that a million times and my parents wouldn't get it. Apparently to them am still young enough to not be left home alone, I think." She chuckles and later it becomes a laugh and I laugh out with her.
"That's pretty bad for sure! So if not now when are they thinking of allowing you to stay home alone." I look at her and I smile.
"Who knows? Maybe when I am legally old enough, you know twenty-one." She blinks at me surprisingly when I say that.
"Twenty-one? How old are you now?" I give her a duh look before answering her.
"Seventeen!" She holds her mouth with her hands holding back a gasp that escapes her mouth.
"Unbelievable! And you look all this womanly!"
"With all my glory." I turn around to pose for her as I say that.
"Wow, am....! Woah, I don't even know what to say." Before I answer her my phone rings and I answer it because it's my mom.
"Where are you?" I roll my eyes at her question
'Seriously?'
"In the embassy Mom!"
"I know that lily. I meant where exactly?"
"In the library room."
"Come back to where the party is, we are heading home." I nod but when I realize that she is not seeing it I answer.
"Coming, just a sec." I hang up my phone and turn to Leila.
"Am leaving Leila but it was nice meeting you!" She nods her head.
"It was my pleasure to meet you too Samantha. Do you want to hang out some other time not here of course?" I nod while smiling at the idea.
"Yeah. I would totally love that." I mean she seems pretty cool, friendly, hot, and beautiful as hell. So why not make her my friend?
We exchange numbers and I wave her goodbye as I make my way back to where I left others.
I reach the hall where the party is taking place and I spot my family where they are standing I walk toward them.
"Strangers?" I call and they all turn to me.
"Look who finally decided to show up." my brother comments and I roll my eyes at him.
"Why are you wearing mom's clothes?" I turn to my sister and I just stare at her not knowing how to answer without offending her.
"Lily Samantha? You had me and your mother worried about you, don't ever do that without telling us where you are going again. We are in an unfamiliar country, you can't be moving around like that yet." I nod at my dad.
"Mom said we were going home can we go?" My father nods and I walk over to him and sneak my arm in his while my mother goes over to Savannah and Simmons.
We have always been like this. Me close to my father and others with my mother and it's like an unspoken rule that we have. when we go out together, I always walk with my father and the rest walk together too.
We finally made it outside after some time because my dad kept on stopping now and then saying his goodbyes to the people he met there.
We get in the car and we go home while thinking and asking myself how I am going to survive the whole year in this unfamiliar place.
I take a look at my family, they all seem tired but suddenly I have an idea that is exciting me to the core. And as I keep on thinking about it, I feel all energetic to call it a night yet but I still have tomorrow.
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