Despite all the advice that my mother used to rain on me, something in me has been missing Eric so bitterly. We indeed used to communicate via chat, but I couldn't wait any longer to sit closer to him. He already wrote something in my heart which, of course, nobody would easily erase it. Since my mother has been spying on me, arranging how to meet with Eric and my mum won't know was just a puzzle. And I wouldn't confidently welcome him into our home whenever my mum is at home. Since my mum already turned into a changed person, I have to make decisions that wouldn't affect our relationship. And the only way I see that happening is if I continue taking her business seriously and also resisting any relationship with the opposite gender. Though if I can afford to be more mature in playing my cards in the sense that she doesn't notice, that would also be a plus to my happiness. In some ways, I guess my relationship with Eric is safer than that of Damian. Whenever my mum sees Damian around, she already knows that we're dating, but Eric had been smart enough not to be caught by my mother.
I continued checking on how to meet with Eric other than just chatting with him. The truth remains that I miss him. I've been dreaming and dreaming of him. Yet, it ends in a dream and I can't wait any longer to feel his warm grip around my waist. Indeed, I can always leave the house at will, but what would be my mother's reaction whenever she finds out?
I believe God did create some coincidence for a divine purpose. Happened that I met with May, whose mother happened to be a good friend and customer of my mum. We bonded easily since we were of the same age limit. From the little moment we did discuss while her mum was having her conversation with my mum, we do shear the same perspective view about life. And from the way we discussed, it seemed she was also feeling choked up by the way her parents guide and protect her even when and where they're not supposed to, just like my mother. I don't know whether they thought it was still a part of being caring. But occasionally, we need some space. We couldn't waste much of our time before we shared contact addresses and started calling and texting each other.
I strongly believe that there's a reason why God kept my mother's relationship with May's mother until now. Ever since I met with May, she's been the only friend which whom my mother feels more comfortable seeing us together. When she comes around the house, we enjoy all the liberty we deserve as my mum would give us space to discuss whatever comes our mind. I do know not whether it's because her parents used to be rich or there's something else I was yet to understand. Even her parents don't use to disturb her, as she told me whenever she's in our house. They only calls to know whether she arrived safely at our house, then no one was again unless she calls. The way our parents felt comfortable about our relationship gave us more reasons to be more allies.
On some occasions, we do wonder how our mothers met themselves, which grants them full confidence about how we used to relate. Though we do enjoy it. She makes me feel as though she's my sister. At that moment, she became my closest friend, with whom I do discuss intriguing stories of life. She's also the kind of person that is open-minded and that makes all roll together at the same pace.
One day while discussing with May, she did narrate a story where she played dirty with her boyfriend. Then she made me realize that I wasn't the only one guilty of sex. Despite all the parental guidance, she still had a means by which her cookie got scratched without her parents knowing anything about it.
I thought I was spoiled, but I found a coach in the game. She said hers happened when she was in boarding school. My worries weren't that she already had sex at her age or stories behind it, but she was bold while narrating it to me. While I had been ashamed of myself since I got screwed up. Even recalling what happened had always made me feel like the worst sinner, but May already reason it as a NORMAL THING.
It made me question the efficiency of her parents in the parental guidance and even the lot of guidance and discipline they do receive in school. But am I any different from her? No! That alone forced me to shut my mouth. I was curious enough to study her while she was narrating her story to me, but in the end, despite my curiosity, I had nothing to hold on to. We're both the same age. She's from a rich home. I'm from a poor home, if I may use that word. She has both parents. I only have my mum. We're the same age. But, both of us have been screwed. All the discipline and guidance have been pushed aside. Now we're all the same. Though, our parents never knew that the pupa, they left at home had grown into mosquitoes.
What should I blame? Myself or nature? No, I can't blame myself while other individuals of my mate are into the same game. I guess nature is playing a trick on us. Indirectly, I may say that it's not even our fault. While I'm alone, languishing in shame for what I did. Not really. What happened, is another person is somewhere driving pleasure in such. I guess there must be a secret in-between.
While thinking deeper about what we all are guilty of and how proud she was to discuss her story, something tickled me that we belong to different circles. Meanwhile, I have to distance myself from her. But does it make any sense? I don't think. That same thing that makes me see her as a naughty person, I'm guilty of the same. Besides, She's the only friend of mine who can come in and go out of our house and I won't be interrogated unnecessarily. Any side the dice turns to, I have something to lose and something to gain. I might even gain more…