Feng Yongrui moved aside his pillow and looked at the simple wooden headboard in front of him. He extended his hand and moved it across the smooth surface, looking for a small dent that would open up the secret compartment.
As he traced across the smooth surface, Feng Yongrui felt a small, almost indiscernible dent and he pushed down with force. He heard a small 'click' and looked at the side of the bed. There was a small compartment there!
Feng Yongrui pulled out a small drawer and took the papers inside the drawer. He settled down on the chair and looked at the letters.
He opened the first letter and read its contents:
[To the person to whom this letter is meant to be given to.
Today was like any other day. It was filled with persistent persecution, difficult difficulties, and extreme irritation. As you may know, since I have previously told you before, I am working as the chief connoisseur regarding the Phantom Stallions.
Phantom Stallions. The name itself evokes feelings of beauty and magical mirth. Their form is just like a horse, but their blood is as fiery as a lion's. They may sound beautiful at first glance, but in reality, they are a group of pervasive species that exist to torture and terrorize.
Just today, the Phantom Stallion by the name of Starmane decided to test its hind legs' power by aiming it at me and kicking with all its strength and glory. It was a lovely sight at first, going in slow motion.
First, it lifted its head, crowned with golden sunlight, and neighing with a triumphant battle cry that shook the heavens. It seemed to strike a cord in my soul, and I could only watch, gaping at the heavenly music it created.
Starmane, knowing that my soul had left me and that I had been awestruck because of its hypnotic voice, lifted its hind legs slowly and jerked upwards. The movements made an elegant half-circle that captured my soul and enriched my mind...
Until its hind legs touched me.
At that moment, I felt a force push me far away -- I had no time to react. All I could think of was, no matter what, at the very least, my loyalty to you has never been in vain.
You are the morning star in my heart. You are the wonder of the world. You are the vine I will hold on to if I were to fall. The stars and moon can testify my loyalty to you -- even when those horrid creatures kicked and tossed me around the field for half a day, my only thought was to complete the task you had given me...
There was also...]
Feng Yongrui skimmed the rest of the contents, and when he was finished with the first letter, he slammed it down on the table and sighed.
What. The.
"'To the person to whom this letter is meant to be given to'..." Feng Yongrui read out loud.
From the very first sentence, didn't it sound very problematic?! Why not, 'to whom this letter is meant to be given to', or something simpler??
"And what is this, huh?? 'Persistent persecution, difficult difficulties...'" Feng Yongrui couldn't continued reading. He sighed and put his head on his hands, chuckling. What kind of writing was this??
"Also, I'm sure that there's no such thing as a 'chief connoisseur in charge of the Phantom Stallions'," Feng Yongrui rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, wasn't 'Feng Yongrui' supposed to report his daily life to Chen Tengfei?" Feng Yongrui muttered.
"Well, isn't he doing it well? I don't see the problem here," the System replied, confused.
Feng Yongrui: "..."
"You don't see the problem here?? System, look at this letter. What kind of spy writes his report about the enemy... in such a, a..." Feng Yongrui waved his hands a few times and sighed.
"You know, in such a... flamboyant and... strange way," he finally concluded.
"Host, how can you insult his writing? Everyone has their own writing style, you cannot judge others like this," the System sounded wronged.
Feng Yongrui rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I get that. But still! This is a report to your Boss. Look, in the first half of the letter, he was only talking about how he was kicked around by the horses and bullied by the other servants. Another part is just... useless words about how loyal he is... what kind of report is this??"
"Even if his job was to 'report his daily life' to Chen Tengfei, he could've still added some useful information, right?? Why did he even have to add all of this... this useless adjectives and flowery phrases??" Feng Yongrui complained.
"Look, Chen Tengfei sent him here to find out more about Xu Chao. But from the looks of it, this letter sounds more like a child complaining to his parents about how he was bullied at school!"
"There's no information about the layout of the mansion, the strength of Xu Chao's guards, and Xu Chao's likes and dislikes... There's just, useless information here! Like, is this supposed to be his diary or something?"
"Urgh, now I sound like I'm ranting," Feng Yongrui sighed. "But I can't help it! This is the first time... Oh, just what kind of spy is this. System, are you sure Chen Tengfei is the protagonist? How could he send someone useless like 'Feng Yongrui' to this place?"
"Host... maybe it's exactly because he is useless, that's why he was able to survive for quite a long time," the System suggested.
"Well, I mean, that makes sense... but, it kinda hurts. I mean, knowing you're able to survive in a place not because you're smart and can handle tricky situations, but because you're just, naturally, dumb," Feng Yongrui rolled his eyes.
"Host, rather than ranting and complaining to me, why don't you read the other three letters?" the System suggested.
"...I'll do my best," Feng Yongrui groaned.
The second letter began with the same terrible phrase.
[To the person to whom this letter is meant to be given to.
My day has turned out to be rather relaxing, because today I do not have to wash the Phantom Stallion's dwelling...]
"Dwelling? What does he mean dwelling? Just say the 'stables', alright??" Feng Yongrui roared.
"Host, please! This is just the first line, and you're already like this," the System sighed.
"I know, I know," Feng Yongrui ran a hand through his hair and continued reading the letter, albeit with difficulty.
[As you may know, the Phantom Stallion's dwelling may be humble, but it is filled with unimaginable horrors. I thought of sparing you the details, but I have decided that since this perfect paper is long enough, I can explain everything to you and describe the dwelling to you, so perfectly, that you will feel as if you have walked there, sat there, and lived there...]
Feng Yongrui skimmed through the next part because he did not want to read about the Phantom Stallion's stable.
When 'Feng Yongrui' finally changed the topic, he began talking about his colleagues, the other blue-robed servants who often looked down on him.
[...Those wretched creatures have their noses high up in the air, thinking that they could ride above my head and spit at my shoes... They have no idea who I actually am. They don't know about my true identity.
Of course, they don't know that I work for you. There have been countless times when I have been tempted to tell them the truth -- it would've been satisfying to see their gaping, horrified faces as they realized that I was not someone they could step on.
Oh no, I am someone they'll have to worship someday. When the time comes and you ride on your noble steed -- with me at your side, of course -- and conquer the Phantom Realm, I will be standing proudly on a pedestal, while they writhe and wail, begging me to forgive them.
Of course, Master, you need not worry about me telling them about the truth. So far, I have been doing a good job of being magnanimous. Sometimes, I even let them bully me to such an extent that I have to grovel under their feet...
Master, I have suffered much for your sake, but you do not need to worry. It is all a part of my duty. After all, I am longingly, everlastingly, loyal to you, and you alone...]
The second half of the page was filed with tacky flattery and boot licking towards the "Master", Chen Tengfei. The words were coarse, poorly written, and, instead of feeling awed, Feng Yongrui had goosebumps when he read it.
Feng Yongrui steeled his heart, forced himself not to say anything, and read the third and fourth letters with agony.
***
Fun fact:
"To the person to whom this letter is meant to be given to."
Did you know there are 4 "to"s in this sentence?
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To the person to whom this story appeals to, I hopefully hope that you can enjoy my superb story~
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What is the grammatically worst sentence you have ever read in your life?
Comment below~