Jen is listening to music. She tries to press forward to happier tracks but all playing are blues. Sad blues. That is according to her recent playlists.
She stares at the phone. She wants to call Gunn, she missed their time together. Her life without his jokes and flirts had been chaotic, she almost drowned in the bathtub last night. Thinking about how it all died with one kiss. She kissed him, Jordan. And that little for the only relationship she had in her life. Except from three or so friends elsewhere.
She will have to face him one of this days. She had hoped for it to be today after work. What will she say when she is all to blame. When the risk is not close to the outcome. When she was thinking about calling Jordan and asking if he was fine.
How can she like him getting beaten up and still want to know if he was fine? Should she tell Gunn that she was thinking of doing it? She felt like she was determined to ruin her relationship with Gunn. All for a guy who did terrible thing to her two weeks ago.
He took her to dinner, a nice one. He supplied her with jokes and riddles. They were happy for a moment there . He even drove her back home and planted the iconic date kiss on her cheeks. It all went wrong when she declined to invite him in, he thought he had scored. What really happened on that day? What did Jordan do to deserve the beating? Why didn't Jen report it to her all-time protector?
××××
Their relationship had taken a beating. They are not interacting anymore, Jen hardly goes in his office anymore, even to thank him for what he did a couple of nights ago. He is always ready to talk about it, she's the one running from it.
She hates explaining and in this case she had to do a lot of that He had warned her about the moron. His name is Jordan.
She failed to listen to his advice and went rogue for that one knowing what the stakes were. It had happened before, it is always with the same guy. She knows how to make it stop but can she?
Is his anger towards her justified ? Does he deserve her explanation? Did the Moron guy deserve the beating Gunn gave him three nights ago? She is yet to thank him about that as it comes in handy with her explanation.
That was not the only case, the so called moron has bad blood with Gunn. Something Jen had always known. Why did she go that far to disrespect him and herself? Jordan had been Gunn's foe for a long time, Jen is what they fight for. She tends to be numb about it.
A week has passed since Gunn inquired about her and the 'moron'- Jordan, they are not seeing eye to eye anymore. She has managed to run from him, his calls, and office swiftly. Even after he started a war with the guy.
From the outside, the employees believe that they settled whatever was the matter with them. Jen was back to afternoon Yoga session and from what they could gather Gunn was doing his share every morning.
Today was different, they had to see each other no matter what their differences was. Jen's PI had some insight on something they both are invested in.
She asked him to leave it with her but he declined. Although she is the one who hired him, the case being investigated was Gunn's. Furthermore, they had agreed to always find out what he has to say together. They don't have any secrets to keep. She knows about him and he knows about her, that's why their relationship is more than friends. There isn't any label to it.
She reluctantly asked him to proceed to the conference room where all three met. The air in the room was not welcoming at all, the PI could sense that miles away.
" What's the matter?", Jen wanted it to be done already. Suspense was killing her and added with their shaky relationship at the time she needed to be away from him.
The PI walked to them and opened his briefcase, he had envelopes, documents and all kind of paperwork there. Maybe same suspense and disappointment to a hundred or so, more people.
"Madam's tone isn't welcoming, are you guys broken up or something?", he asked risking his job. Jen looked outside the window, she was to blame for that bit.
"She's right, what's the matter?", Gunn defended her. If there was anything right, he deserved to get out of there than Jen did. He wasn't the one keeping secrets from her
"Secretive, I like that. If any one of you needs my services to dig dirt on each other's life I'm ready, larger sum guarantees privacy. You do know I can be bought.
(Nobody smiled, not even a fake one. In the good days they would have laughed about that for days)
My jokes aren't working, I'll get to the business.
That is what I gathered from my digging, open", he said giving an envelope to Gunn.
Although they were in hiatus, they sat next to each other ( Gunn and Jen) eager to know what's inside. It had their joy and sadness all wrapped in one.
He ripped off the seal in a hurry revealing some photos of a woman-in her mid thirties - and a young girl - about four to five years old.
They both stared at it in disbelief, Jen looked away with watery eyes while Gunn retained his concentration. As if hoping for it to change to something else. Something that wasn't hurting to them maybe.
His darkened eyes from Jen's fight now darker than usual and red. It was a huge blow to them.
Jen thought that maybe if they didn't have it investigated they would have escaped the outcome. It would have left them without clarity, which they now have no use of after the results. Hot tears burning her eyes for escape.
Were they pissed off by the beautiful middle-aged women, the little innocent girl or the huge building behind them? If it was their white teeth and beautiful smiles nobody could tell.
He had hoped for a different outcome. His heart was hurting more than he had hoped it would. Maybe the truth does hurt.
" I know it might cost me my job but I guess my information carried a smoking gun. I'll be leaving now, sorry for that,both of you.
I would solve whatever is between you two later, you need each other right now. You already know that.", PI said excusing himself.
PI was not paid for his advice or reaction, he hardly knows about who he is sent to investigate and why. That is not his part to know.
But, he gets to know more as he is investigating. He knew almost as much as they did of the picture and what it represented. He might have felt sorry for them.
He left them to it. What would happen or be said in there was up for debate. He just hoped to be called again with a different task, all he is doing is his job. He is nothing if not professional.
They were dead silent in there. How could it be? They should have seen it coming from far. The déjà vu had always been there, they must have turned a blind eye on it. Trying to let the truth settle.
Jen felt her heart break, she could only imagine how hard it was for Gunn to look at it. She had already broken his trust and heart when she kept that piece of information from him .
Now, she knew his heart had two stabs to deal with. How will he ever light his face again?
She felt heartbroken, like a heartbreaker and sorry for him all together. She could not hide that bit. Tears were flowing from her lastly, she had held it too much. Hardly cries but when she do it flows like a river.
Jen thought about enclosing him in a huge warmly hug, but, they don't swing that way. She had to fight her demons and let him fight his alone. Body contact is minimal, not even when they have heartbreaks to get through. She really would appreciate it right now, to hold him up.
She raised up and went to the window. Her tears had fought their way out and so she was wiping them out with a napkin from the table. She was shaking uncontrollably but still holding on tight on the window grill.
Gunn was too gone to notice it, he was fighting his own. Their fate had always been intertwined, since they met. Maybe until they die. Or grow apart.
He had blood veins all over his face. His fingers were shaking and do was the hand, lips, legs and his guts. He was nothing if not hurting.
Jen didn't look at him, she dried her face time to time while hoping for him to feel better. To find peace in the images and people in them. Of not for himself then for her. She hated them to the guts.
He hit the table with his fist. He loosened his tie and then held his chin.
Jen was watching the cars moving in and out of the city. She was not there at all, her eyes were looking while the mind tried to cope with the information. She still couldn't believe it.
The bang woke her up. She glanced at him and saw exactly what she hated to see. He is her rock, now he needed someone to be his.
"Fuck it!", She whispered with tears running down her beautiful face. Then, she ran to him enclosing him in one huge hug. He tried to fight it and loosen her grip but she wasn't going anywhere, not until he had known that she cared. That he was not alone in this.
He hated her. He hated it. He liked her determination. He let the tears wash him. The emotions were too much to bear. He needed the hug.