Jen heard it on the radio coming over to Gunn's place, since then it had stuck with her. She didn't know who the damn song was from or why it played on her way but she cried, why the hell did she cry?
As she murmured the new song silently, Gunn was walking in with his two chicks. They helped him place the finger on scanner to unlock the doors revealing Jen, she was inside already. Waiting to terrorize them and make them quit their play. She knew they weren't that drunk, they just liked the idea of having him.
It was their bad day because that was not likely to happen. She had already scanned them and didn't approve their bodies next to his. They were beautiful per say but not as his type kind of beautiful. They may be those secret admirers who got a rare change to be with him.
She smiled deviously making them panic.
The two girls were stunned, they were struck to find her in there so comfortable, they thought it was his girlfriend- everybody thinks it anyway. They were already feeling the dense air.
"Who are you?",they asked. They were rude, must have hated her more than they hate responsibility. They just seemed lazy
"I can see you brought him home to me, thanks girls. Now, off you go", she didn't give them a chance to look around. He was all hers now, from the door to the bed."I'm sorry, please bring him to the couch. I am not that strong you know"
The girls were sad, this is not how they had seen it going- they thought of her as a cold bitch although afraid to say it to her face. The way they slammed the door on their way out was evident.
" I'm not dru-drunk, I can walk by myself ",he said declining her help to walk around. He was not, they both knew that- him staggering wasn't enough, he had to collapse to believe it.
"Don't be brave, you have to lie down for a while. It'll be okay. You're in control",she said. Jen knew how much he hated to be reliant to anybody, not even to herself. There was shame and loss of control that he didn't want to feel. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk himself to death in the first place.
She helped him up- although he didn't want it. They walked to bigger couch in the living room where she let him down slowly. She instead sunk on the one-seater sofa across the table. He was long lost to open his eyes.
She would like to be lost one day. To drink herself to that point and feel what he must be feeling. She at times craves to have the same experiences with him. They used to do everything together when little. Until their bodies grew and started feeling weird when too close. Adolescence was hard on them both but he somehow made his way through it smooth. He did what was expected of him by his hormones. He never involved her in those kind of stuff. Was he protecting her from guys like him or was it something else? What could it have been?
To her surprise, the song she heard coming over played again, this time from Gunn's phone- must be his ringtone. She held it without picking up.
?You'll be the saddest part of me
A part of me that will never be mine
It's obvious
Tonight is gonna be the loneliest
You're still the oxygen I breathe
I see your face when I close my eyes
It's torturous
Tonight is gonna be the loneliest?
How did he come across it? She never heard it from him before, was nature pulling one on her? It was damn soulful, making her tears fall nonstop – hated to not know the reason.
Good thing was, Gunn was too fucked up to know about that. He hardly opened his eyes let alone answer the phone, she let it right – she needed a beating from the song, which it didn't fail to give.
She waited for a second ring then voice searched the song adding to her playlist. She would cry to that each time she was down and needing something else to blame for her tears.
Jen went to his kitchen, fetched warm water from his dispenser and some face towels from his guest room. She had to clean him up and give something to beat that liquor.
She sunk on the couch next to him staring straight to his beautiful but flawed face, why did someone that beautiful have a crashed heart? Did he deserve it, any of it?
She thought about it. Maybe it was just the way of nature, it never ends it's schemes on humans. They are just a very tiny part of it all, but doing the most damage. It had to balance the good and evil. He had all the goods and share of disasters.
She dipped the towel inside the small basin and then squeezed. She then placed it on his forehead trying to wipe sweat from his face.
Gunn's face tensed from the hot towel, maybe too hot – she found out after his discomfort. She excused herself and then tried it on her, it was really hot. She added cold water to balance out the heat.
From there he was as obedient as cats tend to be, she got the chance to wipe his face admiring it up close. Tomorrow morning he will be back to mad over her and keeping his distance, that intimacy is all she's got. Now and maybe ever. They never get their faces that close, it is do damn intriguing to look at him.
She admired his messy hair, always tampering with her efforts to clean his face. The bushy eyebrows soft and thick, his skin all soft and relaxed to the warm towel brushing softly over it. How handsome he looked, it made her adore him more.
She loved his face, all distinctive features. But, she was in all for his lips, they were the juiciest she could find on a man. She went slow on them as if feeling the tenderness it would cause if they were matched with hers. Only did it with her fingers.
After cleaning the face, she was left lost in it- until his phone rung again. Repeating the same torturous song that made her eyes watery – she dropped thick-hot one on his lips almost waking him up. Must have tasted it.
She used a dry towel to wipe out her tears before her falling tears drowned him alive. She hoped that the bit he had tasted were something to him.
She muted his phone, she had to- she couldn't take it anymore.
It was one of his whores - as Jen thought. She couldn't understand why he had to have that much, one or two would have been appreciated. They are not even saved on his phone, they just call.
Before taking his shoes and accessories off, she wiped the spilled tears (more) from his lips. The texture of his on hers was all she could feel, tempted to wipe it out with her lips- she couldn't go ahead with it ,she was scared of the consequence. They were too ready for it, could feel them vibrating.
She knew how not to test the waters, she should be content with what she had. Asking for more would be asking for danger, risking to be burnt by wildfire to ashes.
She hated him, for being so careless at times and joking about her all the time. He should have known that she wasn't built for the humour, whatever comes out of her mouth is dead serious. They were a contrast.
She let go of his lips, she should not have kept her fingers on those lips for that long. Her heart was racing for that- she didn't know what the hell was happening to her. Her guess- nothing good.
She is very innocent, hardly have wild thoughts of her generation. She likes to live in the present and be practical about it. She never needed a fairytale weddings or being swept off the ground. She just wanted to one day find love. At thirty or something.
Jen fixed warm water and milk for him, he was too tired to drink and so she ended up dragging him to his bed, where she stayed up next to him until sleep caught up with her. She was finally relieved- somewhere safe, without pain of the world, and that of her heart.
××××Middle Of The Night
Unlike Kat, Jen does have beautiful dreams. She knows how to turn her nights into beautiful realities, she is more lively in there than in real life. She is in love with her dreams, since she can have a sense of control in there as well.
Like tonight, she was in for a colourful one. All she had to do is enjoy it. She deserved all the happiness.
The skies were falling on them, she could feel the rain drops hitting her face really hard. He was also feeling it by the way he looked at her. She smiled and he did give it back, heating the cold place.
Those are kind of dreams she has been having, although not always with Gunn in it. Maybe a change because he was sleeping next to her.
Dancing in the rain felt borrowed. She must have picked her reality from art, music or motion pictures. The reality she is always after. One that she had everything in life. Not like she did feel lost by the morning. She thinks she always have all that she can ever need- blame that on her poor innocent mind. Too much to learn.
They were barefooted. She could feel the cold floor and the water all over her body. Until it was all in slow motion and felt like not a reality. That made her look at his happy face and the joyous occasion all different. It wasn't really. She could feel it.