Chapter 52 - C 48- Fears

With a brief silence and an unfocused eyes showing his unpleasant trip down memory lane, Ken continued after a sigh.

"After leaving home I did some part time jobs to continue my schooling while I hop from one acquaintance house to another shelter home. That sensation I identified from science class as Adrenaline, to me became the distinction between my weak self and the me that felt strong.

From then on I did everything to drown myself in that feeling again, and that's how I became an adrenaline junkie. I then channeled my ability to be intrigued, curious, and a hard worker into learning anything I could about extreme sports.

I even discarded my nerdy and introvert self to associate myself with pros in the field but it all became invalid at some point. I was so addicted to the feeling that the extreme stuff wasn't enough but I had my moral compass, so the intense activities in the military was my only choice.

So I went back to being nerdy while keeping fit in preparation for that day. Our military valued more brains than muscles, if one had both then the chances of climbing the ranks will increase.

I took advantage of what I already knew and I had to speedily pick up on Linguistics, Maths, Science, Basic Engineering, and other acquired knowledge to pass whatever military testing.

It was there that my horizons began to broaden vastly. In the heat of a perilous situation, the feeling will surge more exhilarating than before.

But it was during my first deployment to the frontline, that the empowering feeling was mixed with something unknown till then, Cold Fear.

I had experience fear before but what I saw and felt eclipsed the robbery or any other incident.

This mixture of feeling wasn't fun or made me fell strong, no, this feeling gave me literal strength to clench to my life as I navigate the cruelty of modern and urban tactical warfare.

I then quit after surviving a few deployments and services because I fought for a different reason less noble.

After quitting, I went back to civilian living with no plan or purpose. Not to brag but I was good at almost everything, as long as I put my mind to it and work hard; I could work anywhere.

Seeing as I had no purpose or drive, I went back to doing extreme sports but this time it was more professional inorder to make a living. And that's how I died –performing an extreme stunt"

After a long silence, Riveria, Shia and Tio started asking questions about things foreign to them. After they were done Yue broke her silence and asked a significant question.

"... ...What about your prophetic-like knowledge about Tortus"

"The ultimate question, I see. But first, do you know anything about multiverse or the universe?"

"Nope~"

"Never heard of it, Master"

"Mn-mm"

With such negative response, Ken then took some time to explain the basis of the many worlds hypothesis, parallel timelines and Superposition in relativity to Tortus.

"So based on my explanation there might be a duality in the events of Tortus, or one decision or choice spawned out different timelines of this world. In depth research can be done when you girls get to earth"

Ken then took a deep breath before going back to Yue's question.

"I don't know how you might take what am about to say, that's why I gave some theories and hypothesis first.

I came to know about certain events on Tortus from my world. A deadly pandemic struck a many months before my death, so there was a world wide lockdown to many activities including huge businesses.

It around this dangerous event, that I was introduced to manga, manhwa and anime in general inorder to get my mind off certain things..."

"...the thing, you and Hagime use to bicker about in our time in Orcus labyrinth?"

"What's that..."

"Just think of it as a story told through different forms of media with visual captivation.

And one of those stories was about you girls and the heroes... well most of you, Riveria and someone named Kiyama Kenshiro didn't appear in that story"

"But that's not possible... from what you said what, there's a story with some of us involved going through past, present and future events. Was the storyteller a god?"

"I've already told you to remove the notion of godhood from your minds... My only theory, is that the author of the story witnessed the events of this world from a parallel timeline of this world either by being there or any other means.

It's totally plausible from my experience, am a living testament to such possibilities.

I digress, so after being summoned here, I thought things will proceed as I've seen even though I was a unexpected variable.

My junkieness didn't die with Shawn, so I came to this world with only adventure and boss fights in mind as I planned to leave events as it was to the extent of not warning what the heroes of what they might face. I know what you're thinking;

'Didn't I learn my lesson from my time in the military?'

'Didn't I learn that life and death battles, aren't a place for my hobbies?'

And I will try to justify my actions by saying; I was addicted to my delusions and wasn't in my right mind but none matters as of now.

It was after I and the heroes entered the labyrinth, did I start to notice some signs of change. And as the obvious origin of the change, I was plagued with questions and worries;

'Was Yue still imprisoned or what?

Will she be free?

Is Shia alright or was she captured by the Empire or worse, was she killed by the Beastkins or in the Canyon?

Was Tio alive or will another person be sent to investigate the heroes?

I hope Myu wasn't captured or at least wasn't sold yet.'

But my thoughts and worries changed with my evolution. I interacted with you girls through cold calculations of your behavioral patterns from the timeline I know and that's why I feel different from your perspectives.

But with Riveria it was different, the only choice was to act like myself since I didn't actually know anything about her..."

"Why? You could have been yourself around us too, we wouldn't have criticized you for mistakes or erring as a human. So why?!"

Yue who couldn't believe, it was Riveria instead of her or Shia who got to know Ken's true self anxiously asked.

Ken however kept silence even as Yue called out to him, he just sat there as he visibly struggled to stay silent.

"...Ken!". "... ..."

"Ken!~". "... ..."

"Master!!".

"I was scared, okay!!? Things changed!.

The anime and manga wasn't complete before I died, meaning my advantage will end at some point even with some knowledge from Fandom!!.

And now I'm in a different timeline, not knowing what the future might hold. With my situation of having previous life memories, this is very scary. I can't open my heart just to lose the person who held it! Never!! "

It then dawned on the girls especially Yue and Shia, that Ken never once said "I love you" in the entire time together because he didn't want to face his fears and past, just like how they had their dark feelings and past they run from or hide.

They were all broken, in a sense.

They all go in and give Ken a warm embrace, reassuring him of their strength and resilience, and that they won't go anywhere as things are now different from Earth.

They then express their forgiveness and willingness to start from the beginning and build a slow but strong relationship from the ground up as they get to know each other personally.

They promised to tell each other most things without keeping secrets. And finally Ken said what they needed to hear from his lips and heart which draws a tear of joy.

"I love you girls very much "

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