After getting home Jim did felt something was off with kook but didn't want to interfere . ' He wants him to deal with his problems on his own . Thinking about the future imagine if his not here anymore how would his baby brother deal with further things into his life . He doesn't want to risk that and thinks he'll just mind his business . '
Time Skip_____💜_____⏳
Entering the building kook just hope he doesn't see his boss this early in the morning , yesterday night was so embarrassing he can't face him today .
He thinks ' It's a big disappointment for falling this low he couldn't imagine that this feeling decentralized him that much .
He knew that his body was different from other boys . '
⌛
Flashback
Once he was heading to the bathroom with his supposed to be friend . In this bathroom there was an urinal so the guy is suppose to stand to pee every time when they come into the bathroom kook always made his way into the close coupled toilets his friend observing him asked why is he always going to this kind of toilets cause it's easier to pee while standing . Poor kook was naive and explained to his friend that he didn't have a penis that he had a vagina . His friend had the idea to spread the news about the abnormal and special way his friend is and thought that he could gain popularity by that .
'' Shut up you're such a pussy . Oops ! What am i saying you have and you are a pussy '' his friend said while everyone around started to laugh .
It was one of the hurtful things his ex friend told him that's how he never tried to make some new friends nor did he tell people about himself and his secrets . kook got bullied for the way he naturally is , that's why at some points he started to hate hiself .
End of Flashback
⌛
' He remembered the first time he did touch his body .
It was late at night , he was laying onto his bed and unconsciously started to touch his hairy pubis and he unknowingly felt good and continued until he started to massage his clitoris and that's when he knew about this extraordinary feeling .
He used to masturbate before but without entering his finger through the tight hole he has . He was scared that if he enters his finger into it , it would hurt really bad so he was contented by the feeling of just rolling his clitoris he was so addicted to it to the point where he used to do it every single day and he's vagina use to hurt so bad but he still continued to do it . To the point his vagina wasn't wet anymore it felt dry . To the point he felt disgusted by the way his own body react to it so he decided to stop everything . Even tho it was really difficult at first since he kept on falling into it again and again but he surely didn't give up , he prayed and asked God to help him if what he was doing was a sin to help him fight through it but , did he receive this help ? not at all . So he just decided to search for some information on to the internet .
Did it help after finding out it was a good thing for the body , for your brain and even to reduce stress ? not at all . He felt he didn't receive any answer about his problem , he tried to look at some parts where some people where confessing things that they were ashamed to do and there was this lady who had a really good pleasure by thrusting her fingers into her butt and in to her vagina hole at the same time . After her finger is maybe covered by poo kook is really sure of that . He felt it was weird at first but everyone as their own preferences so he just let his funny thoughts go away .
Everyone's problem is different from each other and the resolution is also the same so looking at other people's problem wasn't an answer to his own . It's like he was leaving trough other people's experiences which made him new about certain things .
Until one day he decided to talk to his brother by messages about it since he was to embarrass to talk face to face and jim was his only friend . He remembered every word that his brother told him this day if like it was yesterday . '
⌛
Flashback
After texting jim about his issue , they decided to meet into the back yard of their house since they were leaving into the same house . They were pretty close even tho Jim was adopted , they felt like they were meant to be brothers the first time that they met .
The first one to talk was jim " So my first question is , did you find out how to pleasure yourself alone ? I mean did you learned how to do it by yourself by exploring your own body or did you saw a video or something and wanted to try it out ? "
kook blushes and said shyly " yes ! I learned it by myself . "
Since Jim was an easy going person he wasn't embarrass at all cause he knew how things were going to be even tho their bodies are different . When you're the one exploring things you should be ready to learn new things cause he did past through this since he was older than his baby brother .
" you know like you said into your messages that you felt weird by it you have to talk to me if you really want my help you have to tell me what's really bothering you I wanna help you . " jim said softly .
kook had a hard time thrusting people he didn't want to be disappointed if he's own brother would do the same thing as his ex friend . He didn't want to be hurt but if he doesn't try to talk to his own brother , who's gonna help ? He had to take the risk .
So being understanding , he started to explain every thing without missing any details he felt towards it to finally being responded by jim with a " That's great ! "
" What do you mean ? that's great ? " kook repeated questionably . He felt his heart throbbed feeling like he was took into the same trap like his ex friend did to him years ago , he thought he did wrong by telling Jim about his issue .
Until jim said " You find out everything by yourself cause you're body need it at the moment . You're body wanted the attention , he wanted you to see other parts of yourself that you didn't know . Every day , every year , every moment of your life you're learning new things about yourself , life and other peoples to . Don't be ashamed to make new experiences even tho if it's hard to go through them . New things are coming into your way don't let simple things distract you or give you discouragement , the most essential part which is learning new things is more important . But like you told me it's not good to go that excessively but do it only when you're body need it . "
End of Flashback
⌛
' And that's what he wanted to hear maybe God sent Jim for him from the beginning maybe God had everything planned for him , that's what the internet couldn't give him someone to understand his own problems , someone with a resolution to the problem he had . And jim was there all along with the answer into the palm of his soft little baby hands since he was born prematurated . This issue made them grew closer , the bound between both brothers was stronger even tho they weren't blood related . They understand each other like open books .
kook knew he did masturbate rarely , like his brother told him to do so when he's body needed to but the way his boss did it was unexpected he didn't thought that it would have so much effect on him to the point where he wants his boss to do more to him even tho when his boss did it , it was bit different since he did it with his tongue let's just try to not remember about this memory . He felt disgusted by hiself , how his body give in so easily to this sexual addicted touch . '
kook in his office trying to make his best by working really hard cause he doesn't want to be called by his boss to his office . He wasn't prepared yet to face him . He didn't want to blush or do something stupid since he knows how awkward he can be if he's not feeling well into an environment he's used to .
So working during all day not even getting out of his office only for necessary things like going to the bathroom , in to the cafeteria to eat or to buy some snacks . All of that only to avoid his boss . He was so grateful that his boss didn't call for him he perhaps forgot about it let's just wish for that .
⏳
Two days pass by like that .
⏳
Taehu had some important things to deal with during the meantime which is the shooting of the new magazine for the upcoming fashion show while kook was there questioning his existence .
He felt how the boy distanced hiself from him . He thought ' about apologizing for his wrong doings he didn't like the feeling of being away from the bunny at all but he knew it was his fault for doing that .
At less if during the act the boy had pushed him away at that level he would knew he fucked everything up . But if the boy did respond with the same feeling .
Why would he ignored him ? Why would he try to avoid him at all coast ? Why didn't he pushed him away ? Why did he kiss back and accepted everything that was done ?
He was way to confuse about it and wanted answers he couldn't bare to be away from the bunny boy it hurted him to much . His poor upset little heart couldn't handle the fact of kook getting away from him , he hated it . '