"Jayden. I need to tell you something." I start talking about an hour later of watching some crappy late night show that I didn't even understand what it is about.
He doesn't respond making me look at him.
He's asleep.
I sigh and turn down the volume then stand and cover him well before sitting on the chair that I had previously insisted on sitting on.
I decide to switch off the television after a while and look down at my phone. It's a little past one a.m. I miss Ryan so much.
Jayden and I had talked to him hours ago but I still want him here.
I look at Jayden's peaceful face sleeping and sigh. I want us to talk about the baby but he needs to sleep and rest.
It's like a heavy truth that I need to spit it out so that I can feel free. But it seems that I'll have to wait till in the morning.
I stand and walk to the couch at the corner of the hospital room and lie down and try getting some sleep.
I've never thought about starting a family after Ashton, my parents and siblings died.
I had always known since then that I'll always be alone until I adopted Ryan who coincidentally, was my real son.
Now I have another baby on the way and a man that I truly care for.
A man that I shouted to everyone in this hospital room that I love. Do I even?
Or was I just panicked or been in a 'caught in the moment' sort of thing.
I suddenly let out a sigh and stand. I can't put my mind to rest when I have all these thoughts. The room is dimly lit and so I can see clearly.
I see Jayden flinch even though he's asleep making me cautious. Is it a nightmare? Pain maybe? I ask myself but I see him opening his eyes before flinching in pain.
"What's wrong Jayden?" I ask suddenly panicked. I try to reach for the emergency button but I don't see it.
I search for it and I find it on the opposite side and press on it without any thought.
"My head hurts." He groans then hisses in pain. He brings his palms to his head as I place the back of my hand checking his temperature to find him burning.
"Doctor. Someone." I run to the door and call already impatient but I'm met with a female doctor, Dr Diaz.
"He's in pain. Help him." I say following her into the room and she takes out some medicine and injects into his bloodstream.
"I've given him a strong painkiller. It should help him tonight and administer another one in the morning.
The fever should go down too. I'll be back in thirty minutes to check on him." Dr Diaz says as I listen keenly.
'He'll be fine.' I tell myself as the doctor leaves. I walk to Jayden's side to find him with a pained expression covering his face.
"Better?" I ask softly.
"Sorta." He answers in pain and I place my hand on his head. He's sweating but I know that he will be fine. I just have to stay positive and help him.
"Do you want me to do anything?" I ask my face near his. "Damn, you really need to shower. You reek of sweat." I add trying to joke and he lets out a tired smile.
"I wouldn't mind if it's you doing the deed." He says his voice low before slightly flinching and I bend further and kiss his sweaty forehead.
"Get better then I'll do whatever you want." I promise jokingly and he slightly smirks before yawning.
"Go back to sleep baby. I'll be here." I say and his almost closed eyes open suddenly fully awake.
"Do painkillers cause hallucinations too? Cause I thought I heard 'baby' from your mouth to my ears." He says and I smile though I can oddly feel heat on my face.
"Getting shot was definitely worth it." He says and I leave a lingering kiss on his forehead.
"Sleep now BABY." I say intentionally and he smiles as he shuts his eyes.
"I fucking love you." He says before drifting off to sleep as I am left standing beside him smiling widely as if I'm a teenage girl who's been confessed to by her crush.
And I don't care about that. I too deserve to have a happy life. I've been through shit and maybe this is that time that my mother was talking about.
that time that my mother was talking about. The time that everything will be perfect and better.
Jayden being here was definitely not part of the plan but he was meant to be here, next to me.
************
I wake up to find myself lying on a horizontal position. Something opposite to how I drifted off yesterday or today at two.
"You're awake." Jayden says next to me and my eyes suddenly land on his plump lips.
"My eyes are up here honey." He says making me look up but my eyes go back to his lips and he licks them slowly.
"How did I get on here?" I ask now my eyes on his and he smiles. He looks better today. "How are you feeling?" I ask before he answers.
"Better actually. I have you and our child next to me." He says making me still in his arms. "Unless..." He trails off and I shut my eyes then let out a breathe.
"We're having a baby. I've wanted to tell you ever since I revealed to you about my pregnancy but I couldn't get the right time to tell you about it."
I say suddenly emotional but Jayden smiles.
"I think I just got better when I heard that." He says with a smile before someone knocks on the door.
I try getting up but Jayden tugs on my hand making me stay. "Linda." Jayden says with a small smile and I try getting up again. It's getting awkward.
"Good to see you Jayjay and you too future siz." Linda says cheerfully and I let out an awkward cough next to Jayden making him let out a laugh. I'm really not used to public affection.
It seems so weird to me. And 'future siz'? What the hell?
"Stop enjoying this dickhead." I hiss but he doesn't stop shaking with laughter. "I could hurt your head then and you'll soon be shaking in pain letting out screams."
He suddenly stops and I smirk. "Now let me go." He groans and releases my hand enabling me to sit up and get off the bed. "Now, was that so hard?" I mock and Linda laughs.
"You guys are just the cutest." Linda says with a smile and I roll my eyes as Jayden smiles. "Especially with the serial killer warning talks. Is that like a turn on for you..."
"I'll leave you guys to talk." I say suddenly not ready to hear anything else and both Linda and Jayden disagree simultaneously.
I walk to the couch in the room's corner and sit on it then take my phone that I had left to charge. I scroll through my contacts and call Shawn's number. It's Saturday, Ryan wakes up at around eight to nine.
"Hey, Shawn." I ask but I'm greeted by a sleepy Shawn. Shawn forbade anyone from interrupting his sleep and that's when I knew that I fu***ked up. Shit!
"Yeah, I know that Ryan has a phone..." I try explaining but he shouts making me cringe before ending the call to find Jayden and Linda looking at me amused.
Isn't this such a great morning?
I'm waiting to read your comments