Derek and I had been at this for hours, trying and failing to go over the plan. Every time we seem to make progress, Derek spaces out, getting lost in his thoughts and whatever seems to distract him from his duties.
"Dude, are you okay?" I ask, trying to hide the irritation in my voice, as I try to get his attention back to the matter at hand.
"Yes, yes," he says, clearly not listening to me. Instead, he is staring out the window that faces the edge of our territory. I look out, trying to figure out what he could be focusing on as he stares there. My mind runs through the possible answers, but I know that there is nothing out there. Which confuses me even more the longer I watch him continue to stare out the window.
"Derek," I sigh, "You need to tell me what the issue is here. I can't afford my Beta being distracted and not having my back," I finally crack and ask him, needing to know what is causing my Beta such distress.
He rolls his navy blue eyes. "Not everything is about you Jacob," he says, still staring out the stupid window.
I growl at him, low and in warning, the sound causes his eyes to shoot towards me as he finally focuses on something other than the window.
"Where is this about me?" I speak, wanting him to clarify how him being distracted is because of me.
"When this is about you ignoring me as I try to ensure we have a perfect plan for our attack and you don't respond to the simplest of questions.
So, for the last time, what the fuck is going on with you?" I sneer at him.
Annoyed with his disobedience.
"None of your business," he says, staring at me, challenging me.
I don't hesitate moving closer to him.
"Tell me what the hell is going on," I say to him, my voice low, warning him about my patience wearing thin. I clench my fists as I stare at him, waiting for him to give me a proper answer instead of a vague one.
"I said nothing, so leave it," he growls back at me.
The growl sets me off, my face right in front of him as I growl back, my hands coming up and pushing him. He stumbles back into one of the bookshelves. A few books fall, hitting the floor as he stares at me, shock on his face.
We stand there staring at one another as something in the air shifts; the room filling with tension.
"Shit, dude I'm so -" the apology is forming on my lips as I try to ease the tension.
But the words die as I feel a weight across my torso, pulling me down. I groan as my head bounces against the wooden floor.
I'm quick to react, pushing him off me and standing up. He gets up with raised hands and we circle each other, waiting for one of us to throw the first punch.
"Derek, I suggest you stop and tell me what is going on," I say.
"Get lost, Jacob," he says.
"What the fuck?" I ask, annoyed by his sudden attitude towards me.
"I am trying to figure out what has been distracting you so much lately, since you have been avoiding your duties," I say, remembering how he was ten minutes late to our meeting today.
"Just back off, I'm figuring it out and I don't need you around reminding me to focus on my duties," he spits out, his eyes shining with anger.
"What the hell, dude? Just because you are going through something doesn't mean you can forget about your duties," I say.
My anger increased with his reluctance to focus, especially with how I have had to focus on my duties as Alpha, even after losing my dad and Gisele and then dealing with everything else.
"Like you didn't, you were sitting in a bar the other day drinking your sorrows away because of her," he says, venom in his words. I don't let the hurt his words cause stop me, I use the pain from it to fuel my anger and aim it towards Derek.
"I was, because I lost my mate. What the hell do you have to cry about?" I ask.
He just growls at me, "Is it because you have to go home to your stupid fiancé?" watching the hurt cross his face and enjoying the feeling that courses through me to hurt him.
His anger takes over as he runs towards me, his arm going back to punch me. I dodge it, trying not to get too angry. Fighting the urge to fight back.
He rushes at me again, this time tackling me. My body hits the floor. The air rushes out of my lungs from the impact. I am disorientated, and I don't see his fist collide with my cheek. The shock of the hit causing me to freeze. Not doing anything except lying there, staring at him. Another punch hits my cheek.
His punch causes me to shake out of it, throwing him off me. I get up, straddling him, my fist raised in a punch as my other hand grabs his shirt, lifting him up slightly. His hands hold on to my wrist, his eyes full of anger as he stares at me.
"Get off him!" a snarky voice shrieks. My head whips to the side, and I see Medeia rushing towards us. Her hands are pushing me as she stares at Derek, panic in her eyes. I let her push me off him, not wanting to hit Derek in front of her.
"What the hell is going on here?" she asks as Derek and I stare at each other. Both of us are breathing heavily, trying to catch our breath.
"Nothing," he says, shaking her off of him. I growl at his reply, still annoyed by his sudden secrecy. Worry courses through me at the way he doesn't answer Medeia, hiding the truth from her as well.
"Okay," she says, giving him an annoyed look at his short answer, most likely picking up on his sudden hobby to lie every chance he gets.
"Anyway, what do you want, Medeia?" I ask, my hand holding my cheek as I move my jaw back and forth, trying to ease the pain and trying to erase the tension in the room by changing the topic to something another than Derek and I fighting.
She glances at Derek one more time before speaking to me. He nods his head at her, most likely agreeing to whatever she silently asks him.
"I'm here to plan our engagement party. Didn't Derek remind you?"
I chuckle when I notice Derek gulped behind her. He said nothing about the party. My Beta is so consumed with something else that he can't even focus on his own engagement.
"He did," I lied. "I was thinking we have it here. It is big enough," I say, remembering Derek mentioning something about my house being perfect for it a few weeks back.
"Thank you so much, Jacob!" she says, her face splitting into a grin. She spins around, wrapping her arms around Derek.
"So, Derek and I were hoping to…" I zone out, and just nod my head along with everything Medeia is saying.
I look at Derek to see if he is paying attention and hoping this has him distracted. Instead, I see him staring out the window again, in the same direction as before. I rack my brain again, hoping that I will remember something that is out there that I forgot about before.
I sigh, hoping that whatever is distracting my Beta will be sorted out soon. I can't afford to let him go into the field distracted. It will only harm us.
But as Medeia continues to speak, I can sense his inner conflict, how confused he is, and it doesn't seem to be about his engagement. Instead, it seems to be centered on himself.
"What do you think, babe?" Medeia's words pull both Derek and me out of our thoughts as we focus on her again.
"Oh, I-um- it sounds amazing," he replies, staring at me, hoping I heard what his fiancé had said.
I shrug my shoulders at him, letting him know I didn't hear a word she said. As she turns to herself, if it is okay with.
I just nod my head, sighing as I watch them leave.
"Derek, just hold on for a minute," I say.
He stops at the door. I wait until Medeia is outside the office.
The door closes as I speak to Derek. His back is still facing me, but I know it is to hide his emotions from me.
"I'm sorry I was out of line, but you can always speak to me," I say, hoping he will eventually tell me what is going on and let me help.
He doesn't reply, instead he opens the door and shuts it behind him. I hear his feet as he stomps out of the house. I watch him as he steps outside, stopping in the middle of the path, staring towards our borders again, in the same direction. Just staring, as if something is calling to him from that direction. I know it's not about the rogues. Their camp isn't in that direction.
He must feel my eyes on him. He looks up at me before turning and continuing on his way. His head turns in the same direction until he can't get a clear sight of it anymore.
My thoughts since then have been on my beta instead of Gisele and wondering how I can help him overcome whatever is tormenting him.
After all, I can't afford to lose someone else.