"How the fuck did you let this happen?" I scream, looking at Derek, waiting for an answer as we stand around the empty campsite. The fire is dead. It has been for quite a while, the footprints were non-existent, and the coastal wind dispersed the scent of the wolves. There was no trace of them, except a few bones from a hunt the rogues went on.
"The scouts had left their spot yesterday. They thought it would be okay to leave," Derek answers, his voice strained as his annoyance of the plan failing seeps through.
"And who gave them permission to do so?" I sneer out, staring at my scouts as they do everything to avoid my eyes. I needed to know who was to blame so that I could get my anger out.
I stare at the two scouts that are looking everywhere except at me, scared of what I was going to do to them.
"I did," Kimon replies. "I told them to come back so we can debrief them on the plan for today."
"How could you have messed up this badly?" I shouted at him, my brain not being able to comprehend what Kimon was saying. Not being able to comprehend how someone as skilled as my Delta could so easily mess up.
"And you didn't think to debrief two others earlier and send them here as replacement scouts?" I ask, my arms across my chest, highlighting my annoyance at the stupid mistake my warriors had made. It was juvenile, a stupid mistake that highlighted the incompetence of my warriors. I aim my question to all of them, wondering why none of them used their brain and actually thought of a logical solution.
"Maybe because I was busy planning all of this while that jerk was too busy with something to even help," Kimon says, pointing at Derek, who is too busy staring at his phone to notice. I growl at the sight of it. His disregard for everything lately is going to cause problems for everyone.
"Derek." I growl out, my patience wearing thin. He looks up from his phone as he stares at me, gulping from the tone of my voice.
"Duties to the pack first and then you can do whatever the hell you want to." I sneer at him, reminding him that we are a unit and it is not just about him. I then focus on the rest of my warriors.
"You all expect me to lead you and yet you can't act like warriors. Do you think I don't have the skill or tact my father had? You are the reason I am in charge now," I say, remembering my late father and how these same warriors obeyed him without questioning his methods. For him, they would charge head first into battle, but for me, they disobey, questioning and needing an explanation for every decision that I make.
"Or do you not recall how his death was your fault?" I snarl. "How was being distracted caused those events to occur and that fateful day to happen? Because I remember it and I have been working hard to ensure that it doesn't occur again. Yet here we are, another stupid failed mission because your men didn't think before acting!" I shouted.
I sense the shame they felt, their heads bowed because of the way they have disappointed me. A sickening pleasure flows through me at the notion of them feeling shame, and I hold my head higher because of it.
"You are an insult to this pack; you tarnish the Knoon name when we are supposed to be avenging it," I yell, staring at my warrior as they continue to search the campsite, hoping to find a trace of something to appease my anger.
"You already failed one of your Alpha's and now you want to do it again. How is it even possible to mess up a simple operation like this?"
I shout.
My eyes are on Derek as I say those words, knowing something has been distracting him, and causing him to lose focus these past few days.
His lack of attention has allowed these errors to occur. His judgment is usually better than this. He can usually make the tough calls when I am not around to do so.
As my eyes land on him, I notice the way he looks off into the distance, in the same direction as the day he sat in my office.
My anger is uncontrollable, my fist connecting with a tree trunk, leaving a dent. Adrenaline and anger pumping through me, making the pain in my hand bearable.
I turn to look at them as they gulp. "Look, Alpha, I'm sure we can find them again," Derek speaks up, having found the confidence to do so. My fist connecting with the trunk must have shaken him out of his daze.
"With what? The fucking pin location they sent you. Have you been talking to them? Is that what has been distracting you these last few days?" I spit out venom lacing words, as I am to hurt him for his inability to provide a logical reason and actually be a helpful member of this pack.
"The trail has gone dry, Derek, and we both know it; they knew the scouts were here even before they moved camp," I add, pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to think of the next move.
The rogues had made their move; they had fooled us and now we have to work harder to ensure our move against them leaves a lasting impact.
Disgust for my opponents was radiating off of me, making my disappointment obvious. I pace in front of Derek and Kimon, their heads bowed in guilt as they wait for me to tell them what to do next.
I sigh, looking up into the sky, staring at the stars as I think of a solution. My mind is going to my dad and what he would do in a situation like this. What tasks would he give his warriors to ensure they executed the simplest operations to the best of their abilities, and to be prepared for any change that might occur?
My head is spinning, my neck straining as I continue to look at the stars, trying to find a solution for what is now a complex task.
"Listen to me carefully. I want someone patrolling our borders for the next few nights. If they hear a branch break, I want to know," looking at Derek and Kimon as I speak, ensuring my beta and delta are aware of what is being asked of them.
"In the meantime, try to reach out to the other packs and ask if anyone has recorded sightings of the rogues, and inform them of our scouts. I want two scouts to track the rogues down." I add before turning around and making my way back towards my jeep.
Shaking my head as I walk toward it, trying to blocking out the stupid orders Derek and Kimon are giving out. My hands shake as I start the jeep, adrenaline still coursing through my veins.
I let my mind drift as I drive home. The irritation seeping out of me as I let the fresh air relax me. The smell of salt is calming and brings me back to simple times. I decide to take the more scenic route home, hoping the fresh air will help dissipate my adrenaline.
I remember Gisele sitting in the passenger seat, her hands in the air as her blonde hair blows in the wind, her giggles filling the car as I try to fail singing along to the song on the radio. Just doing it to make her laugh. Her laugh was contagious. Her bare feet were on the dash, her legs on full display. And her body was covered in nothing but one of my blue hoodies.
I remember the event like it was yesterday. We were on a late-night drive, just wanting to get away and enjoy the blissful breeze of the coast.
I remember my hand on her bare thigh, squeezing the soft flesh as I held onto her. Her hand fell on top of mine, just holding it even when I moved to change gears.
It's the thing I miss most about her, her calming presence. She could calm me with her words and make even the slightest of inconveniences forgettable.
Thinking of her made me feel guilty, as I remember how I spoke to my men. My chest tightening as I can see her face, her eyes staring into mine, telling me to calm down and focus.
I tried, even now. I'm sure she knows I tried to remain calm. "It is not your fault, Jacob," I hear her say.
But when it is something as serious as finding the cowardly black wolf who killed my father, I know even her words would have struggled to calm me down.
The thought of disappointing her and my dad sent anger coursing through my veins again. The rage inside me causes me to put my foot down on the gas pedal.
I needed to focus on finding him. If I couldn't do anything to avenge Gisele, then I will do everything I can to avenge my father. He is the reason I am what I am today and for that I will make sure the Knoon name will not be tarnished. "Focus on what you can control," I say to myself.
The only way to do that is to focus on the task and forget everything else, including my useless warriors.
My anger for myself because I could not avenge my father, my hurt at losing her, the insecurities that are building up in me as I struggle to find my role as Alpha again is what I need to focus on right now.