Hiroshi sighed and ran his fingers through his brown hair. This was the first time he came to feel this way towards anyone. He was not a kid neither was this the first time that he concluded that he must likely have feelings for someone.
Perhaps what made it a lot different was the fact that he did not just feel that he liked Haruki but he was sure with every single beat of his heart that he wanted to be with Haruki. He wanted to hold the man in his arms whenever he had a nightmare and whisper to him like he did that day when he saw him unconscious on the bed.
He would have dragged himself to his psychiatrist friend if he happened to be watching from a distance but this was happening to him. To fall in love with someone as dangerous as Haruki was a very bad idea and he would have discouraged anyone but feeling it himself, he felt powerless over his feelings.
He has never looked upon a man with such feelings but someone like Haruki who had a reputation that people feel they have to be protected from just happened to be the person who awoken such feelings.
After calming down in the quietness of his car, left to his thoughts, he came to understand how foolish everything he did was. He was in love with someone like Haruki and the first thing he did was to rush over to his house.
Thinking back, he wondered why he had gone there to begin with. He wondered what he would have said to Haruki if he had opened the door for him. Would he have directly confessed to him when he only came to realize his feelings? That was an action even a teenager wouldn't take to confess to their first love.
He sighed once again before pressing the power button of his car. He was even more mature than Haruki who was a few years younger than him and when pursuing someone as difficult as Haruki, he had to take time to plan.
First, he was not willing to be one of Haruki's many partners who gets pushed away after only a couple of months, that was not the reason he wanted to get involved with Haruki to begin with.
Second, he knew like many others who have heard gossip about Haruki that the moment any of his partners confesses to love him, they get dumped almost instantly. Haruki was not one to remain with any lover as long as the person tried to involve emotions and yet he had walked to his house with a confession at the tip of his tongue.
Haruki has to be the most difficult man in the world to pursue. Hiroshi counted the many disadvantages there were to fall in love with someone like Haruki and each of them was enough reason for him to turn away.
It was not a matter of simply ending up heartbroken but one of most likely losing your life and even if you succeed at keeping your life, there was no future ahead. He might not get tossed away immediately but in a few years, Haruki will need to get married to have an heir.
Engrossed in his thoughts, he did not realize the traffic light had turned green and a couple of drivers behind blared their horns at the unmoving black car enough for Hiroshi to snap out of his thoughts.
***
Haruki returned to the apartment to get a report that Dr. Yamamoto came over while he was away and he brushed it away saying the doctor must have forgotten something in the house when he came over and went about his daily activities which became a lot busier with a project they just began.
After a very busy week, he got another report that the doctor had shown up twice and Haruki could only confirm his thoughts and told his guards to let the doctor in the next time he showed up so he could take what he left over.
***
Let into the house so easily was weird when Hiroshi arrived and when he continued to stare at the guard in confusion, the guard said, "The boss asked me to let you in since you must have forgotten something inside that you need to get."
Hiroshi nodded to the words of the man but that did not mean he was any less confused, those words only made him more confused. He had not said he left anything in the apartment so what did those words mean?
He smiled at the guard who was waiting for him to go in before walking into the two-floor penthouse even though he was still trying to put a label on Haruki's action. What if Haruki understood his action and was giving him a chance?
The house was neat and properly maintained but he almost could not see any real trace of Haruki in the house and this was something he had not noticed when with Haruki. The room felt like a hotel room without Haruki.
He walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were groceries although not adequate but enough to prepare dinner. He went to the room and changed into one of Haruki's clothes before returning to the kitchen.
He had no idea when Haruki would return and he did not consider them close enough for him to inquire through a text so he simply began preparing dinner with the decision to reheat the meal if Haruki came any later than expected.
There came a sound from the door just as soon as he sat down to relax and he could not help but murmur, "Just in time."
He walked towards the door and Haruki stopped on his track when he saw Hiroshi. In those two long seconds Haruki continued to stare at him, Hiroshi wondered what had gone wrong because clearly, the man did not seem to expect him to be in the room.
He was to take what he forgot . . . perhaps he had interpreted those words to something entirely different. However, he did forget something with Haruki.
With large strides, he covered the distance between them. "Have you found what you came to take?" Haruki asked the doctor.
Hiroshi looked into Haruki's black eyes as a word slipped out of his mouth, "Yes."
The doctor did not stop at an appropriate distance and Haruki found that to be very amusing, he could not stop a corner of his lips from lifting to form a small smirk.