Jocelyn sat silently in the front seat of Shane's car, while he sang along with the radio. He had a pretty nice voice, the type that was soothing.
Her thoughts ran back to the last time she had been in a car with her parents. It was her eight year birthday, and for the first time in three years, her dad was sober and she was sure her mom was not on drugs.
I sat in the backseat of dad's car. Hoping that this birthday would be at least normal. So far so good, dad was sober.
They had taken me to an ice cream shop at the mall. Dad had asked me to order for my ice cream. I immediately asked the pretty lady to get me the chocolate flavor.
Mum had ordered strawberry and dad said he didn't want any.
I rubbed my hands in delight, thinking about the paradise I was going to dig my spoon into.
The lady had arrived with our orders. Then dad had lost it.
"Who asked for chocolate? Lyn only takes vanilla. Take this shit away from the table." He yelled, then swung his fist out. The ice cream cup had flown from the table, hitting the lady in her stomach.
I gasped, and stared at the lady's clothes.
I've always loved chocolate! I almost yelled. But dad's eyes had darkened.
"Paul. Lyn loves chocolate." Mum said quietly. I wondered if dad heard.
He slapped mom's cheeks so hard, the lady screamed. She had been frozen in spot, looking down at her soiled clothes.
"Daddy!" I screamed.
"Get in the car, Lyn sweetie,"he said and I tried not to gag at the endearment.
I stumbled across the table in my haste to get to the car.
Dad pulled a screaming mom by her hair.
We got into the car.
"I love you Paul. Please stop," Mom was begging.
"Jocelyn? You are so pale. Are you okay?" Shane's voice brought her back and she wondered why exactly she'd thought about that painful incident.
"Stop the car," Jocelyn yelled. She could feel bile gathering at the base of her throat.
"What? Are you okay?" He turned to look at her, slowing the car a bit.
The car stopped and Jocelyn opened the door, rushing out before collapsing on the floor. She felt sick to her stomach. She threw up the sandwich she had earlier.
She soon felt Shane's hands on her back. He moved her hair from her face.
"Shit, you're cold," he yelped as his hand came in contact with her face.
Jocelyn tried to see past the darkness trying to swallow her. "I'm fine, give me a minute," she forced the words out. Her palms and knees burned from grazing the paved road.
"Breathe, Josie. You'll be fine," Shane said as he fished out a handkerchief from the car and wiped around her mouth.
"Water," she groaned.
He hurried back into the car.
"I'm not in the car anymore. I'm a long way from Texas. I'm not eight anymore. I'm fine. I have to be," Jocelyn muttered to herself once Shane was out of sight. Usually reminding herself that she was free helped to calm her.
Soon her breathing returned to normal. Her dad was dead, long dead. Her mom wasn't looking for her. She was an adult and she was safe. All she had to do, was get on with the rest of the day and hope Shane didn't ask too many questions.
"Here," he handed her the water.
She sat on her heels, and took the can. "Thanks, Shane."
He nodded in response, squeezing her knee. She didn't pull away like he expected.
After a few minutes, she was good to go. They got back in the car, and Shane kept glancing at her throughout the rest of the drive. She ignored him and bobbed her head in tune with the radio.
* * *
"Really?" Jocelyn turned to stare at Shane. He had trailed behind her for the whole thirty minutes they had been at the boutique.
"I don't want anything happening to you in my absence. Besides, I want to make sure you get the best clothes."
"I don't need the help. I'm good with fashion," She replied, ignoring the smug look he was currently sporting.
"Says the woman who dresses hideously," he snorted.
"I was a model in my past life," she snorted back. Years ago, her mother had been a fashion designer and little Jocelyn had been a model for her mama. Although the memories still hurt, Jocelyn still spent hours looking at pictures of recent gowns on the internet. She reminded herself of the life she once had. Her mother still designed clothes, but not as much as before and Jocelyn made sure to avoid looking at her mother's works. Penny Williams was still out there, still making a name for herself.
Jocelyn was glad her mother didn't know of her whereabouts.
"Stop zoning out on me," Shane snapped his fingers in front of her.
"Yeah, right," She turned and walked into the lingerie section of the store. If Shane was intent on trailing after her, she would make it memorable for him.
"Um, clothes first," he stammered behind her.
"No. I like the lingerie section best." She picked up a red thong, then turned to face him. His face was a little bit red. "I need you beside me. I want to make sure I get the best lingerie. And I don't want to get sick alone," she smiled.
He stopped walking and stared at her. "I'll wait out here. Happy shopping. I don't think you'll like what will happen if I keep following you."
She blushed but kept on selecting clothing items she had only imagined herself owning, keeping her head down to avoid Shane seeing her embarrassed.