"No mum. This isn't hiding. I'm freezing in here, my wrists and ankles hurt. Besides, daddy won't ever hurt me," I was pleading with mum.
"Your dad is a monster, Lyn. You have to be quiet, remember if you behave, you can come out. You won't have to stay in here for a day like before." Mum was closing the lid of the fridge, with me inside, and bound.
I wanted to tell her she was the monster. I wanted to tell her dad was only a drunk, a drunk who was mad at the world for his loss. I wanted to tell her how much I hated her, my own mother. I wanted her to know how much dad's drinking was better than the pills she took that made her crazy.
But I couldn't, I knew she was beyond reasoning. She was crazy. Only an insane person would lock up her own eight year old child in a fridge, handcuffed and with her legs tied together. Only a sick person would have a glint of amusement in their eyes, watching their own offspring almost freeze to death.
"Mummy, please. I'll hide somewhere else, I'll go away, just please. I'm freezing in here," I begged again, breaking into sobs. She paused as if considering me, but she shook her head.
"No, Lyn. Here's safe," Mom smiled, then began to close the lid of the fridge.
"Daddy!" I screamed.
Mom shot me a death glare, literally.
Then in the ways nightmares usually occurred, daddy was running towards a grown up me. Mom was after him, baseball bat in hand. She hit him with it.
I was back into the fridge. The space too small for my twenty four year old body. I was amidst the bags of flowers mom said were not ready for sunlight yet. My wrists and ankles ached as usual, the metal cuffs clinging tightly to them. I was cold, my teeth were chattering, my eyelids were drooping. I tried to stay awake. I had read somewhere that it was bad to fall asleep when you are this cold. I tried to force my lids open, they didn't budge.
"Don't sleep, Josie." I heard whispers around me, from inside me and everywhere.
I was eight again.
Josie? No one called me that. It was always Lyn, Linnet or Jocelyn.
"But its beautiful and peaceful," I whispered back. My mind was drifting. I was going to die. I would never grow up to be a teenager,I wouldn't get to meet my prince charming, there would be no happily ever after. My mind was full with the things I wanted to do, but couldn't do. I wouldn't give up.
"Jason! Jason!" I screamed, kicking my legs wildly. I hoped my next door neighbor and only friend would hear me through the light walls of our apartment. He was usually my savior whenever mom locked me up. Dad had saved me once, then went off to pound his fist into mom. But Dad was passed out on the couch when mom dragged me in here.
"Jason, please save me," I begged, sobbing furiously.
Suddenly, I was pulled into a warm chest. The person smelled like sandalwood and leather.
"You came, Jason. Thank you. I knew you would come for me," Jocelyn muttered into Shane's chest and fell back into a more quieter sleep.
* * *
Shane heard the thrashing of feet long before he was awake. He bolted upright and quickly rubbed his eyes, forcing every trace of sleep away.
Jocelyn was turning restlessly on the other side of the divide. He stretched his hand to touch her forehead, assuming the heat was also disturbing her. He was shocked at how cold her body was. The room was very hot, even with the air conditioning turned on, he had even disposed his shirt.
Shane immediately panicked and began flinging the pillows off the bed. He turned off the air conditioning, then sat beside her.
Jocelyn was muttering something as she thrashed about. He leaned in to listen to her better.
"No mum. This isn't hiding. I'm freezing in here, my wrists and ankles hurt. Besides, daddy won't ever hurt me." She stopped thrashing.
"Mummy, please. I'll hide somewhere else, I'll go away, just please. I'm freezing in here." She was sobbing now.
Shane was confused.
Was she having a nightmare? Or was she reliving the past? He pulled the blankets over her. "Shh, baby. You'll be fine," he whispered.
Then she began screaming and kicking her legs wildly. "Daddy!"
Her body was getting impossibly colder. And then she suddenly went still, her harsh breaths calming, and her thrashing coming to an end.
Shane didn't have any idea why he whispered his next words.
"Don't sleep, Josie."
He tried rubbing her arms, but it didn't change much. If she was relieving the past, sleeping would probably be a bad idea. No matter what was happening to her.
She seemed to have heard him. "But its beautiful and peaceful," she whispered.
A Few seconds later, she began to kick her legs wildly, again.
"Jason! Jason! Please save me," she screamed.
Shane pulled her into his arms, whatever was left of the divide be damned. He couldn't bear to watch her suffering this way.
"You came, Jason. Thank you." Jocelyn relaxed in his arms, settling back into sleep.
Shane prayed his mother had slept through all the screaming. Especially since she had chosen the room next to theirs. He really didn't know how to explain what had happened to his mom.
He wrapped his arms tighter around her. Jocelyn's skin was still icy cold against his warm one.
"I'm here for you, baby," Shane whispered, breathing in the smell of flowers and vanilla that was Jocelyn's scent alone. Why he had made a promise like that was beyond him, even though she couldn't hear him. But it felt right, and so did Jocelyn's body against him.
Tomorrow, he would think about why holding her and breathing in her scent felt nice. She was practically a stranger and honestly not his type. Tonight though, he would settle for just taking care of her and making sure she was fine.