Cierra, having taken Dawn home earlier in the day, was now contemplating skipping out on finishing her calculus homework and buying melatonin and sleeping the day away, hunting down Goldie.
It was irresponsible, and something told Cierra that her aunt would not be pleased to come home and find her back in bed. Plus, she had to keep practicing for track next year. Meets had paused in June, but they would restart in August. Even though they hadn't said anything so blunt, Cierra knew that both her aunt and uncle wanted her to get an athletic scholarship to cut the cost of university.
Not that Cierra had any idea what she wanted to do in university or if she even wanted to go.
She sighed, her chest heavy. It was starting to feel as though she had a thousand things to but no wanting to do any of them. The dream world adventure was exciting, but it was starting to wear on her how she was repeatedly getting nowhere.
Even calculus was easier than deciphering what was happening when she slept.
There was only one thing to: make a to-do list.
On one side she wrote 'Goals', and on the other she wrote 'Small Aims.'
The 'Goals' side was easy:
1. Pass calculus
2. Stay competitive
3. Figure out dream world thing
It was the 'Small Aims' that she found herself stuck on.
The first few items were easy, with things like 'study,' 'read ahead,' and 'go to the gym.' Where Cierra struggled was with the dream world.
What exactly did she need to do?
She chewed on the end of her pen, and then realizing what she was doing, put it down.
The mystery shapeshifter had told her to find Goldie and ask how she could prove she was trustworthy. But what came after that? What was the end result? Her other two goals had clear aims, they ended with her completing high school and potentially helping her move ahead into university. This dream world adventure she was living offered her nothing. She couldn't put it on her resume, film it and become famous, or write about it in a college application essay.
What did she want from Goldie and the others? And why? What did she have to gain?
Cierra gnawed on the thought. It seemed obvious; this was simply for herself, and the only thing she had to gain from it was some knowledge about what made her potentially special.
If she had to be honest, being special sounded burdensome. She had been known over the years as the girl who didn't have 'real' parents, and for being 'that Asian girl' (something she found synonymous with questions like 'Where are you really from?' and 'Are all Asian parents tiger parents?'). She was already special for all the wrong reasons; she wasn't looking to add another to the list.
She put her head in her hands and looked at her list so far. At least the dream world was more interesting than daily life.
Putting all other thoughts aside, she decided to focus on what she could do now, in this moment.
Choosing the one thing she knew would help calm her down, she changed, packed a bag, and headed to the gym.
That night Cierra went to bed thinking of Goldie, remembering the unevenness of her voice and the way her eyelashes shone. When Cierra woke in the morning, she remembered nothing but darkness and a vague feeling of being watched, not even Cid had been with her.
For the first time in what felt like ever, Cierra woke up tired. Cid was still asleep, tail twitching at the foot of the bed.
What did he dream about when she wasn't around, Cierra wondered.
Going downstairs for breakfast, she saw her aunt already up and making coffee.
"Can I get some of that?" Cierra asked, her brain fighting with her eyes to stay open.
"Sure," her aunt answered, "Just leave two cups for me. I had to take home some extra work last night to do from home."
Cierra made a cup, black, no sugar, and sat at the kitchen counter rubbing at her eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she had even been this tired.
"You okay, Ci?" her aunt asked, concerned, watching her from the other side of the counter.
"Mmmhm," Cierra answered, struggling to even find the energy to move her mouth.
"Ooookay…," Aunt Ernǚ paused at the doorway. "Remember to drink hot water and get some rest. Nothing good comes from pushing yourself too hard."
Cierra nodded, already her head was propped in her hand and her mind was drifting away.
"It's good to see you again." The voice sounded a bit strained despite the words. Cierra could recognize that voice anywhere.
"Goldie?" Cierra blinked, just a moment ago she had been in her kitchen. Or at least, she thought she had.
"Why do you sound confused?" She voice was almost playful now, "You were looking for me, remember?"
All around Cierra was nothing but blackness. She turned around, not sure what was going on.
"Where are you?" Cierra asked, frustration creeping into her voice. No matter where she looked, she was unable to pinpoint Goldie's location.
"This is where I stay when I can't be bothered to be found." Goldie's answer left much to be desired.
"I was here earlier, why didn't you say anything?" Cierra asked, sitting down. She was here for a long conversation; she wasn't going to be uprooted and kicked out as easily as last time.
"I was busy before, but now I'm not," Goldie paused for a second, as if wondering what to say, "I called you because I am free now and no one should be—" she searched for the right word and then finished with an amused, "watching."
Watching? Cierra thought. Was I ever watched? Cierra wasn't sure what the implications of this were or if she liked them.
"Wait." Cierra's brain caught on something Goldie had said. "What do you mean you 'called me'? How can you call me?"
"Well," Goldie replied, "I pulled on your consciousness a bit. Nothing to worry about. I assume you just fell asleep and came right on over?"
Cierra's jaw dropped. "You can do that? What if I'd been driving? Or in the middle of an exam? Or crossing the street?"
There was a silence.
"Either way, you're here now and that's what matters." Goldie quickly moved on, "What made you try to seek me out so desperately? Weren't you looking for someone else before?"
"I found the morphing person," Cierra paused, trying to think of the best way to describe them. She was certain Goldie hadn't read Animorphs before. "The one that turns into the…animals and things."
The silence continued a moment more and then Goldie did something Cierra had never heard before, she laughed. It was a guttural noise, veering madly between high and low pitches.
Despite wanting to cover her ears, Cierra carried on, indignant. "By the way, you could have at least told me that the birdbrain from before was a person, you know."
The laughter picked up again, and this time Cierra covered her ears and glared above her.
"If you already talked to the 'birdbrain', " Goldie said, clearly still amused, "Then why are you here looking for me?"
"They said I need something," Cierra tried to remember the exact way they had phrased it, "Something that proves I can be trusted."
"I see," Goldie no longer sounded amused, slipping into a more somber tune. "I'm surprised, considering the way you shine. But then again, no one like you has been seen in millenia…"
Goldie trailed off and Cierra jumped in for her opportunity.
"What do you mean I shine? Everyone keeps telling me that."
"Everyone?" Goldie asked, curious.
"You, birdbrain as a tiger, that Menace guy—"
"Never believe a Bringer of Nightmares." Goldie interrupted. "They live only to corrupt
and destroy."
She continued, "We used to see more beings like you, shiny ones who could pass
through the dream realms almost unnoticed. But as times changed and passed your kind became fewer and fewer. No one has seen the likes of you for many generations. I would be more surprised if people remembered your kind."
Cierra was quiet, taking in the information she had been waiting for. Her suspicions were confirmed, she was special. Not only special, she corrected herself, but also rare. The fact that there had been more people like her generations upon generations ago, but none now did not leave her with a positive feeling. In fact, she felt sick.
Whatever had happened to them, might be waiting to happen to her.
"What happened to the other ones, the ones like me?" Cierra asked, dreading the answer.
"No one was sure at the time, there were a few ideas, but nothing solid." Goldie seemed to be mulling her words over. After a moment, she said, "It's in the past."