"Kirsi?" Cedric knelt when he noticed his wife's strange behaviour. His sturdy hands tried to catch her face, but the woman looked like she was in a trance constantly resisting him. Her lips kept opening to suck air as greedily as possible, as her hands continued to grip tightly onto her chest. Her breaths were narrow and ragged. She was yanking air too hard not to let enough carbon dioxide stay in her body.
"Kirsi, hey, look at me!"
Even though she was on the boundary between life and death, her realm of consciousness was trying to keep the sound of pain to a minimum. She didn't cry either. Seeing the way she was pressing herself too hard like that made Cedric somehow uncomfortable.
"Kirsi, calm down. Take a deep breath..." Cedric's words whispered in her ear. This woman could hear clearly and reacted slightly to it, but she didn't seem capable enough to do so.
"Pardon me," Cedric whispered one more time then pushed her to the ground. He pinched Kirsi's nose and blew air from mouth to mouth to help her breathe easier.
Cedric's soft lips pressed tightly against Kirsi's pale lips. The CPR process went on for a while until Kirsi's hand that was clutching her chest moved to Cedric's chest to push him away. Cedric instantly let go of her lips. With the remaining saliva lining his mouth until it looks shiny, the man asked, "Are you okay now?"
Kirsi's eyes still seemed unfocused, but her condition was better now. Her eyelashes trembled as she caught the figure of the man right in front of her. Her body was lifted in Cedric's lap, while her head rested weakly on his broad chest.
Due to the little mess just now, people started to gather near them.
Galen and the Grand Marshal are no exception. Galen soon ordered his closest subordinates to prepare the palace healer, while the Grand Marshal waved his majestic robes patiently over the two. Blocking the public to take a peek.
When he saw that Kirsi had fully regained consciousness, Alastair said, "Bring her inside right away. I'll take care of the rest."
Cedric nodded and got up with Kirsi wrapped in his arms.
Kirsi, still not very clear about the current reality, could only look up at Cedric's chin and Alastair's stern face in turn. She could also faintly see a mysterious figure in a black robe standing right beside Alastair. If it wasn't for the blood-red lips that wore a mocking smile beneath the hood of the robe, Kirsi wouldn't have known it was a woman. She focused on that person for a while until her consciousness disappeared furthermore.
-0-
When Kirsi woke up again, she was already on a luxurious bed whose softness rivalled the white clouds above the sky. There was a strange painting on the ceiling of the room where she was resting. The painted object was too abstract and majestic that her head which had just recovered from the coma could barely digest it. Her eyes flickered, confused as to why she was there.
After all, what happened before anyway?
Kirsi can only remember that her head was dizzy and she had nausea. Just as she was about to calm herself down, she suddenly had trouble breathing and was on the line verge of life and death. Her mind wandered about the incident. An incident where her body was nearly crushed, and she didn't have enough strength to maintain her sanity. She only briefly remembered that someone was helping her.
And she had faith that it was Cedric.
The man had a myriad of killing intentions towards her but for some reason, he still ask for a permit before giving her CPR. And with just that speck of goodness had all his previous evils washed away. Thinking back on it only embarrassed Kirsi to death. Her cheeks flushed.
Why did her first kiss with the man have to happen amid her misfortune...
Not to mention it's CPR...
"Oh, you're awake now."
The voice of someone who sounded familiar aired from next to her. Kirsi instantly turned her head and saw Cedric who sat leaning back, flipping through the pages of a book in his hands. The man looks very relaxed.
Oh, did he see her blush just now?
That's so embarrassing!
Kirsi soon sprayed him with questions to distract him. "Why are you here?"
"Waiting for you to get better," Cedric answered as he pleased.
Kirsi replied with no shame. "I'm not sick."
Cedric gave a scornful look, "Yeah, said someone who just hyperventilated."
Kirsi who was lying on the bed writhed like an octopus under the blanket. Her legs are looking for Cedric's feet to be kicked 3 times.
The more days spent with her, the more obvious her childish personality became. Cedric was quite lenient considering she was yet so young. After all, on many occasions, this woman seems to tend to be more mature than people her age. This good-looking man would probably be even more shocked if he knew the soul inside Kirsi's body was still 17 years old.
Kirsi kicked his leg for a while until she was satisfied, while several times shouting, "I'm not sick. You are sick."
Kirsi is nervous about being seen when at her worst. She never liked to be visited when she was sick. There was a day in her school days when she was sick for more than three days, so her homeroom teacher collected tuition funds from her classmates to buy fruit and visited her in groups. It was the most embarrassing moment of her life.
She lived in an upbringing where crying was the same as showing weakness, which was instilled in her from the beginning of the idea that when she was sick, she was weak and fragile, that's why it was the most helpless times. Thus, she cannot be sick. Since childhood, Kirsi was educated to depend only on herself and not cry even when her ribs were broken.
Now when she saw Cedric casually accompanying her during her weakest time, she couldn't help but feel worried and timid.
Kirsi briefly recalled flashes of her past as if she was watching a piece of broken film that had a severe glitch. Cedric can't read her mind at all as she reminisces. But just by seeing how this woman was moving around in a huff, he realized her discomfort.
Cedric sighed and closed his book. "Just tell me if you're not comfortable. I'll leave you alone for now."
Hearing that somehow made her look like the bad guy here. Kirsi rebutted, "Who said I wasn't comfortable?"
"Okay, that's just my mind then," Cedric said so, but he still got off the bed and looked for his coat to put back on. "There are some guards outside the door. Tell them to look for me if you need anything. There will be a few guests who want to see you, you can turn them down if you are still not comfortable. The emperor will visit you this afternoon. I will accompany you then." he put on his coat and spoke while walking towards the door.
Kirsi sat herself down and asked, "Where are you going?"
"To my office."
"May I come with you?
"Wait until you are completely healthy."
Kirsi was adamant, "I'm healthy."
Cedric's hand was slung over the doorknob "Alright, you're healthy."
"Thus can I come with you?"
"Later." The door swung open and Cedric disappeared behind it.
The thud of the door closing was the last sound made in this vast room. Kirsi sighed tiredly and looked around in all directions. This luxurious room has three lift-out slider windows with colonial inserts that face directly onto the flower gardens outside. There are only a few types of flowers that can survive this winter. Some flowers were buried in a pile of snow, and some survived with their buds bursting through the onslaught of icy crystals.
Kirsi enjoyed it while sitting in the rocking chair nearby. A heavy ceramic mug was held in both hands for added warmth. There was hot chocolate in it which was still emitting a nice warm puff of steam against her cold skin.
At the same time that Kirsi was about to take a sip of her hot drink, someone knocked on the door with 3 low knocks. Before Kirsi asked who was that, the person had already explained themselves.
"Daciana, it's me."
Kirsi knows who it is.
Hearing no response from within, the person spoke once more. "Are you okay? May I come in?"
She shortly refused without further ado. "No. "
"Daciana, how are you?"
Kirsi frowned, "Why are you here?"
There was a long silence before the protagonist finally answered, "...I just wanted to know how you are."
"I'm fine. Now elaborate."
The man's voice sounded helpless outside. "Can't I see you for a second?"
"For what? Do you care about me?"
"Yes, I am. "
Kirsi sneered. "Don't say anything you don't mean."
"…Why are you so annoyed with me?"
Kirsi snapped out, "You ask me that now? Ask yourself!"
The protagonist replies with more helplessness, "I'll wait here."
Kirsi ruffled her hair in frustration. She grumbled, "You're such a pain in the neck."
She walked over to the door to open it wide enough for her head to peek out. She looked up at the gorgeous protagonist in his immaculate imperial attire. His hair is combed sideways with some strands left untidy to add his masculine impression.
She said, "Now you see me. Satisfy?"
In fact, it is more profitable to maintain a good relationship with the protagonist and rely on his golden thigh. However, what he had done to the original owner of her body was too cruel for the great and wise protagonist to become a villain from her point of view.
Arthur abruptly asked, "Why are you the one who is mad?"
"… What?" Kirsi was completely speechless at Arthur's unexpected question. Is this man drunk?
"Are you seriously asking me that?"
Arthur gave a mocking grin that wasn't made up. He bent down to match his height with Kirsi. His hands supported one on the jamb and one on the doorknob, preventing the woman from suddenly closing it while he was speaking. "Why? You're the one who asks for the breakup. And now you acting like I'm the one who pushed you up first."
"...What?"
... What does it mean?
"What?? Are you playing dumb now?" there was a hint of irony in his voice.
His angry face moved closer so that he was within Kirsi's breath. His jaw hardened, his expression as if he was about to bite someone. He hissed between his teeth, "I asked you what should I do about that shitty personality of yours, and you said that I can't fix you regardless of what. When I'm trying to fit myself in so we can accept each other, you pushed me away. When I asked you why, you told me that you can't continue our relationship anymore. I don't wanna be friends with you. I just want to accept you as a lover. That's why I pushed you out of my life. Previously when you snapped at me at your home, I can't deny you just because there's my brother across. Now just the two of us here, tell me, why do you behave like you're the victim? "
... That's because the novel told that you are the one who breaks things up between you and Kirsi.
That's because the novel told that Kirsi took revenge on you just because you tossed her out and prefer to choose another woman apart from her.
That's because the novel told that you hate Kirsi for being unreasonable.
That's because the novel told that you're the protagonist, and Kirsi are the villainess.
... That's because the novel told so.
But, what is this? Not just Cedric, but this protagonist too, is a victim.
What should she do now?
"Haha... Fuck."
Kirsi cursed softly. Her body slumped slowly like a collapsed building. She crouched on the floor in a way she would never behaved before. But too many shocks made her unable to care about anything else. Her head was buried between her knees, but the position didn't last long once she remembered that squatting was not good for pregnant women. Kirsi shifted her position to sit sprawled on the floor, looking resigned and helpless as she chuckled.
"Ha ha... "
Arthur who didn't comprehend what was going on could only look on in confusion.
Kirsi muttered to herself, "So you're not the bad guy here... It's good that you remain the bad guy, so I have someone to hate and set a goal for myself. So that I have something to do. So that I have a reason to keep moving forward. But it turned out that I am the bad guy here... What should I do? "
"... Daciana?"
"Should I sacrifice myself? But I'm not an altruist. I'm a hypocrite."
"Hey, Daciana,"
Kirsi sighed, "...I'm sorry."
Arthur parroted, "I'm sorry??"
Now Kirsi doesn't know who else to blame.
Life is not all about who is wrong and who is right. Life is also not always about who is good and who is bad. However, the harsh life in which she had been given a glimpse of her bitter future in advance, would not allow her to live life in peace. To prevent her bad luck hereafter, Kirsi must fight her hardest and use her knowledge of this world as an ace. But when the plot in this world entirely doesn't go as it should according to the novel, not to mention the fact that all the main causes of her future misfortune turn out to be from herself, Kirsi completely loses her confidence about surviving comfortably in this world.
It wasn't her who broke off ties with Arthur. It was the real Kirsi. It wasn't her who climbed into Cedric's bed and trapped the man in forced marriage. It was the original Kirsi who did it.
It would be best if she transmigrated just before it was too late. Now that everything had happened, all she could do was apologize for the mistakes of others.
Kirsi lowered her head without any intention of raising her face as arrogantly as usual. She don't realize how long Arthur had been crouching before her, looking down low enough that he could peek into her face.
Oh, what else did she expect from a wrongdoer?
There is a reason why a criminal is called a criminal. The original Kirsi was addressed as Villainess not without reason. She is someone who causes trouble in others' lives. She had harmed many and offended almost everyone she met. It should be that by the moment she woke up in Kirsi's body for the first time, she should have had a rough idea of what kind of consequences she would have to bear. But here she is, still shocked by all the sins of the original Kirsi. She was too naive to think that Kirsi's whole fault was a misunderstanding of the protagonist and the people around her. She was too naive to think that the original Kirsi was entirely innocent, that the original Kirsi was literally the victim, just because the way she died was so painful and tragic.
But she was wrong.
The original Kirsi deserved it because she was wrong.
Nevertheless, the one at fault is the original Kirsi, right? The person in Kirsi's body right now was someone who had nothing to do with all of those sins. Can't she expect her own happy ending?
Kirsi let out another sigh, saying, "I'm sorry."
Arthur looked troubled for any reason, "You feel sorry for me?"
"Yes."
He frowned, "That's not gonna change anything."
"I know."
He clicked his tongue, "That's what I felt back then, you know."
"...I know."
No, there's no way she knows.