It's been 6 months since I am working in the hospital. My first wedding anniversary was about to come,
I again remembered the most difficult day of my life.
This was the exact same date when I tried to end my life. This date brings a lot of bad memories to me.
I couldn't hold my tears when tried to remember the worst day of my life.
I wished to remove this date from my life.
I didn't want to celebrate our anniversary, but Sol's grandmother threw a surprise party.
I and Sol were coming back home after our shift in the hospital,
Suddenly everyone was present there.
My parents and brothers looked so happy,
They made a beautiful red velvet cake; it was so beautiful.
According to everybody, our marriage was a huge success.
But deep down only I knew there was nothing between us.
We were like parallels; we were together in front of everyone but we didn't like husband or wife.
We mostly talked about hospital-related work. We never spoke our hearts out to each other.
There was nothing between us,
No Love,
No friendship,
No Hate,
I didn't even hate him; I didn't know why I don't hate him.....
One day, upon my arrival I saw a girl in our house.
She was Sol's cousin Zarish. She was engaged to Sol during his tween age.
At first, I thought she was so uneducated and rude girl.
But eventually, I came to know She was a sweetheart.
She was a very well-groomed girl. She really was very respectful towards me.
She told me that she was 10 years younger than Sol.
Sol's parents engaged both of them when she was just one year old and Sol was 10 at that time.
I was so surprised that in this modern era people still did these types of rituals.
She adored me so much.
She used to say that she loved our couple.
Zarish said "You are perfect for him, a well-educated doctor wife"
I said "don't you hate me because I had been married to your fiancé"
She replied, "Not at all, I never loved Sol."
We used to talk a lot; I was so happy with her presence.
On one dark and cold night, I woke up around 2 am and saw Sol was not in the room. I got up and checked the bathroom, he wasn't there either.
I was worried that where was he.
In our room, there was a huge window that opens into the lawn. I sneaked from the window outside quietly and I saw...
I saw that Zarish was sitting on a bench on the lawn and wearing Sol's jacket,
While Sol was leaning towards the Zarish with his arms crossed, he wasn't wearing any warm clothes.
It was implied that he gave his jacket to Zarish.
I was surprised why she gave his jacket to him.
As my room was on the 1st floor of the house, I couldn't hear what they were talking about but Zarish was crying and Sol was talking to her angrily, I thought he was scolding her for something.
I was very much curious but suddenly he turned back.
I moved away from the window and hoped that he might not have seen me.
I ran towards my bed and acted like I was asleep.
Sol entered the room and stood near me; he thought I was sleeping.
He then went and slept on the couch where he had been sleeping since our wedding night.
I was thinking,
Why Zarish was crying,
Why Sol was scolding her,
I slept while thinking about it.
The next day, I didn't go to the hospital as I was not feeling well.
I went to the bathroom and got fresh.
After changing, I went downstairs, Zarish was cutting the apples in the kitchen.
She was looking so tired; I could clearly see her red eyes and smeared eyeliner and mascara.
I took my apple and sat on the Sofa.
There was a room in the house, that was always locked,
Grandma often cleaned the room when I was not at home,
I didn't pay any attention to it and never saw anyone coming or going.
But strangely, Zarish was entering that room.
I knew there was some mystery in the house...
I tried to unfold the mystery; I got up to go to the room but suddenly my phone rang.
It was my brother Sherry's call.
He was blessed with a baby girl.
My brothers didn't have any daughters.
I was so happy for my brother; I went to my parent's house for a stay.
I had been staying at my parent's house for 3 days, but Sol didn't call me once during this time.
I thought to call him.
I took my phone and called him, but his phone was switched off, and Grandma's number was not reachable.
I didn't have Zarish's number, I then tried calling the landline, but no one was picking up.
On my 3rd call, our house servant Rukshana picked up the call and said,
"Madam, Sol sir had met an accident, Zarish and grandma is with him in hospital"
The phone fell from my hand.
I couldn't breathe.
I quickly told my mother about that.
Took my car and headed toward the hospital...
As soon as I reached the hospital,
I saw a lot of people rushing here and there. The hospital was very crowded.
I began to panic after seeing everybody rushing, some of them were crying,
I quickly ran toward the reception.
I inquired about Sol's room number. She told me his room number and I began to run upstairs.
I went there and quickly open the door.
I was numbed for some seconds after seeing a Sol laying on a bed.
Then I realized there was someone else too.
When I looked near his bed,
I saw Zarish was laying her head on Sol's bed.
All of sudden, she got up from her chair and said;
"Sol, I want DIVORCE from you"
I was confused about whether I should go inside or not.
I was fighting with my own thought about the situation.
But suddenly I heard a voice.
"Oh, Misha!! Why are you standing there, come inside," said Sol
I tried to normalize myself and went inside
I asked Sol ''Are you alright''.
He replied, "I am okay, it was a small accident but who told you about me."
I have not heard from you,
I was very worried about you and grandma.
That's why I called you, but you didn't pick up my phone neither grandma did.
So, I called on landline and our house help picked up the call and told me about your accident.
I asked him, "Where is Grandma."
He replied, "she just left with the driver."
I said that I need to go now, I will come to see you again.
I straight went to my house and went into my room.
I was very unrest. My mind was frozen at that time.
Zarish's words were echoing in my ears
"I want a divorce"
Divorce?
It means Zarish and Sol were married; I was talking with myself.
It clearly means Zarish and Sol were not just fiancés.
If they both were husband and wife, then who am I?
Am I the third one?
Am I the home breaker?
There were millions of questions swirling in my head.
"Sol li- li- lied to me," Meesha said in a trembling voice.
Did my family know about that?
Why Sol lied?
Why grandma lied?
I didn't sleep all night and tomorrow morning ended up sick.
I didn't want to give my family any other problem.
Mom came to my room,
Kissed my forehead and said, "sweetie pie, you, ok?"
I don't have any answers,
I said, "I am a good mom".
Mom then said "when will you go to your home"
These words wrenched my heart,
"My home?", I said
I think there isn't any home for a girl, first, she lives in his father's home, then she goes to her husband's home, and then leaves this world in his son's home.
I said, "don't you worry I will leave today"
I never felt so helpless, I felt I didn't have any home.
In the evening, I went back to Sol's house.
He was discharged from the hospital. He was laying in bed.
He had damaged his hip joint and had a patella fracture,
He couldn't move freely without any aid.
I was sitting with him on the bed, in the meantime, Zarish brought the soup for him.
I went to the bathroom when she entered the room.
When I came out, he had finished his soup.
I took his cup and went downstairs.
Zarish was very awkward; she was trying to know whether I heard her in the hospital room or not.
She was looking at my face, trying to catch my expression.
She said, "do you need anything sister?"
I replied "I am just going to make a cup of coffee"
She asked me to go to the lounge and said that she would serve me.
I went to the lounge; grandma was sitting there. I sat with her.
Zarish brought me my coffee and sat with me too.
We all three were silent.
No one was talking, Grandma turned on the TV.
After completing my coffee, I said "I think it's time to sleep".
I went to my room; Sol was laying on the bed.
He was not able to move, so I took the pillow and went to the couch this time.
After some moments, Sol was struggling to get up.
I got up to help him. He was about to fall, but I held his arm and supported him.
We both were looking into our eyes,
It was the first time I felt some love for Sol since our marriage.
I gave him support and made him lie on the bed.
He said that he wanted some water, I took the jug from his side table but it was empty.
I took the jug and went to the kitchen to refill his jug.
When I entered the room again, he was searching for something in the drawer.
I asked him about what he was searching for.
He said, "I was looking for some painkillers"
Sol's leg was hurting, and he wanted painkillers to reduce the pain.
I took some painkillers from the drawer and handed them over to him.
He said, "If you were not here today, I might probably fall"
I didn't say anything and went to the couch to sleep.
I tried to talk to him about his and Zarish's hospital talk but wasn't getting any suitable time.
Next few days, I tried to talk to him but all in vain.
One night, I was taking my coffee and watching a TV show.
Zarish came to me and said, "Did you overhear us in the hospital that night."
I took a sip of my coffee, put my mug down, and turned off the TV.
I thought I was a golden chance to confront her.
I said "Who are you? Who are you to Sol, Are you, his wife?"
Her face turned pale,
I didn't want any justifications, just tell me yes or no!
She said, "yes I am married to Sol".
"Wow, just wow, I can't believe that even grandma didn't tell me" I replied.
I said, "I beg your pardon, I think I am the one who is the 3rd person between you and Sol. I would love to leave this house and Sol too."
Zarish said, "Listen, Meesha you are not getting it."
I replied, "I don't want to get in now."
I went to my room; Sol was reading a book.
I started packing my things and clothes. Sol was looking at me very confusedly.
He said, "where are you up to?"
"Leaving, leaving this house, leaving you forever," I replied.
Sol said, "so you know about me and Zarish, listen we can talk".
"There is nothing left between us, actually Sol you know there was nothing between us ever since our marriage", I said angrily.
After this, I left that home and came to my parent's house.
My family also became furious over this scandal.
My mother told me to resolve the issues, but I said it was too late now...