I can see how my mother hesitated for a moment before giving herself a swift palm spank to her head. She gazed at the visitors briefly before moving her body in my direction to face me. She painted a familiar look in her eyes. Her glance becomes soft. She went silent for a few minutes. Probably she was thinking now that I deserved an explanation. And while she was pronouncing my name, there was a rapid change in the tone of her voice. It made it sound like music to my ears as if it had been freshly picked strawberry fruit off its stem.
"Amelia, my daughter..."
My mouth was wide open in surprise. Why not? Earlier, she was so mad at me, and now she looks like a sweet mother to me! It took me a while to close my mouth and give her a chaste laugh in response. I secretly raised my left eyebrow, but she saw it too.
"This is Lusio, who will be your new father." Her voice was calm, but I knew deep in her heart that she was very nervous. I did not reply and waited for her to finish her sentence. Maybe I heard it wrong. "He will be moving in with us at our house starting today. Please give him a warm welcome as our new family member and show some respect as my cherished, wonderful, and beautiful daughter."
As I processed her words, it made my heart sink. Is she kidding me? New father? Is my father's death a joke to her? I am fuming mad now!
"What did you say, Mom?!"
My throat went dry as I kept looking at them.
"Did I hear it right? Are you telling me that this man is my new father?" These words almost did not escape from my mouth: "Is he my dad's replacement? Are you insane?"
"Amelia—"
"A new father? Do you mean s-stepfather?" I cut her off. I feel the pain in my chest now. This is not happening in real life. It was a dream! Probably a nightmare! "Mom, tell me you are just kidding. It was not real!" I begged, as my heart now wanted to explode.
She did not reply.
"Mom, tell me this is just a dream. Is Dad replaceable? Dad just left us for a month, and now you are having a—"
I covered my mouth with my trembling hands as my hot tears started to fall. I couldn't hide any more of my hurtful emotions from them. I felt numb. I could not move any part of my body now, including my tongue and feet. I wanted to run away and escape from them.
"T-Tell me you are joking..."
I continue to shake my head in disbelief. It was not true. I might do something now to stop her from making this ridiculous decision!
"You are kidding, right? You love, Dad. You were not able to replace him in this life."
My voice became scratchy. The pigment from her tears left my face, giving me the sense that pressure was constantly pressing down on my neck from her tears.
"Or you are serious that you are going to marry him to become my new father?"
I don't understand why my mother kept silent. She should explain the reason to me so I can understand. But not; she's just standing there as if I am not hurting now. With that reaction of hers, I glared at Lusio, my eyes filled with hatred toward him.
Is he also blind? Or maybe they were already cheating on Dad while he was still alive? That thought made me hate my mom more.
"No, Amelia," she replied while looking into my eyes intensely, "We are already married."
Those words made my soul escape from my body. What? She said they were already married.
"And you do not have any say in my decision. Just accept it. This is now our life. Put the past events behind you. It is how people live their lives, Amelia. As for your dad, we did not intend for him to die suddenly. It is not proper for us to be in sorrow for a long time. Accept the fact, Amelia; go on with our lives."
I couldn't believe that those words came from my mother's mouth. It was as if she was hypnotized and became another person. This is not my mom; I used to know her!
"You...you...are married?"
I immediately held my chest as it ached, seemingly out of nowhere. Is this even true?
"You got married without asking me if I would allow it or not? You made a decision without my permission, Mom? What do you think my response would be to that? Don't you dare consider my thoughts? I am your daughter!"
My eyes continued tearing up with tears.
"I don't understand why you did it or the reason behind your marriage with him this early. But Mom, could you please take a moment to check yourself right now? It has been around a month since Dad left us. A month, Mom, it's just been one month, not one year! What might you think of being married in a hurry and in such a short amount of time? Is he your lover before Dad left us? You were cheating with him while he was still with us?" I balled my hand up into a tight ball, my nails almost pinning my palm. I felt excruciating pain as I remembered Dad's image.
"Amelia, I'm warning you. Please refrain from uttering anything that isn't necessary—"
"I hate you, Mom! I am not against you getting another man, but please can you wait for one year to pass, not one month?" My voice now sounded like a puppy in the middle of the heavy rain: "Why don't you just put off getting married for one more year? It's just been one month, Mom! How many times will I tell you that it's just a month so you can understand why I am like this?"
She tried to open her mouth many times as she tried to get near me. Maybe because she wanted to hug me to make me calm, but I stepped backward when I saw her doing it. I don't need her to hug me right now!
"I am your daughter, and you did not consider my opinion! You are selfish! You only think of yourself." I accused her of using my voice, which was full of hate.
She was still speechless. She did nothing but look at me with her teary eyes. I can see the guilt, but it's too late now. Even though she acknowledged it, she is already married, and I hate it. I hate them both!
"Amelia, can you listen to me first?"
"No, I won't!"
"Amelia, before I met your dad, I already knew Lusio. He was my first love, and—"
That statement made me more angry with her.
"Great! And now that Dad has been gone for merely a month, you hurriedly went back to your stupid first love? Is that what you mean and are trying to explain to me, Mom?"
"Hey, listen—"
"No. I won't listen to your invalid reason. You should be the one to listen to me. I hate you, and I will hate forever the fact that you got married to him because he was your first love! You already have Dad; after him. You should get rid of your first love for your thoughts and heart after marrying, Dad! You are unfair and selfish. Can't you hear?"
"Amelia, be careful—"
"No! You should understand why I became like this. You know me; I am not rude. But with your idea of getting married without my permission, you must accept my hate!"
My mother's eyes were glued to my face as I started shrieking loudly. It was written on her face that she couldn't believe her cherished daughter would cry a river knowing she was married to another guy. She knew that I loved Dad so much, and becoming like this is a normal thing to her now.
"Amelia—"
"I refuse to acknowledge that man as my new father, or stepfather, rather. He can never, and will never, replace Dad in my heart. Do you understand? He can't even though he tried it hard many times! He can't, Mom!"