Emily had shoved herself into a little back alcove on the Kingman Hall terrace and was quietly watching all of the Foxy smokers. The girls in their frilly, pastel dresses, the boys in their elegant suits. But who was she watching more? She wasn't sure. She shut her eyes tight, then opened them fast, and the first person she noticed was Tara Kelley, a Rosewood Day senior. She had bright red hair and beautiful, pale skin. Emily gritted her teeth and shut her eyes again. When she opened them, she saw Ori Case, the hot football player. A guy. There.
But then she couldn't help but notice Rachel Firestein's thin, giraffelike arms. Chloe Davis made a sexy, teasing face at her date, Chad Something-or-other, that made her mouth look adorable. Elle Carmichael tilted her chin just so. Emily caught a whiff of someone's Michael Kors perfume and had never smelled anything so yummy in her life. Except, maybe, for banana gum.
It couldn't be true. It couldn't.
"What are you doing?"
Toby stood above her. "I…" Emily stuttered.
"I've been looking all over for you. Are you all right?"
Emily took stock: She was hiding in an alcove on a freezing-cold balcony, using her pashmina as a cloaking device, and doing a deranged peek-a-boo to test herself whether she liked boys or girls. She turned her eyes to Toby. She wanted to explain what had just happened. With Ben, with Maya, with the tarot reader—everything. "You might hate me for asking this, but…do you mind if we leave?"
Toby smiled. "I was hoping you'd ask that." He pulled Emily up by her wrists.
On their way out, Emily noticed Spencer Hastings standing on the edge of the dance floor. Spencer's back was to Emily, and Emily considered going up and saying hello. Then Toby pulled on her hand, and she decided against it. Spencer might ask her something about A, and she was in mood to talk about any of that right now.
As they pulled out of the parking lot, Emily rolled down the window. The night smelled delicious, like pine needles and oncoming rain. The moon was huge and full, and thick clouds began to roll in. It was so quiet outside, Emily could hear the car's tires slapping along the pavement.
"You sure you're okay?" Toby asked.
Emily jumped a little. "Yeah, I'm fine." She glanced at Toby. He told her he'd bought a new suit for this, and now she was making him go home three hours early. "I'm sorry the night sucked."
"It's cool." Toby shrugged.
Emily turned over the little Tiffany box that sat in her lap. She'd plucked one off the table right before she left the tent, figuring she might as well get her parting gift.
"So nothing happened?" Toby asked. "You're so quiet."
Emily blew air out of her cheeks. She watched three different cornfields roll by before she answered. "I was accosted by a tarot card reader."
Toby frowned, not understanding.
"She just said that something was going to happen to me tonight. Something, um, life-changing." Emily tried to muster up a laugh. Toby opened his mouth to say something, then quickly shut it.
"Thing was, it kind of came true," Emily said. "I ran into that guy, Ben. The one who was in the hallway at the Tank, who was…you know. Anyway, he tried…I don't know. I guess he tried to hurt me."
"What?"
"It's okay. I'm all right. He just…" Emily's chin trembled. "I don't know. Maybe I deserved it."
"Why?" Toby clenched his teeth. "What did you do?"
Emily picked at the gift's white bow. Raindrops began to spatter the windshield. She took a deep breath. Was she really going to say this out loud? "Ben and I used to date. When we were still together, he caught me kissing someone else. A girl. He was calling me a dyke, and when I tried to tell him that I wasn't, he tried to make me prove it. Like kiss him and…whatever. That's what was happening when you came into the locker room hall."
Toby shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
Emily ran her hands along the white gardenia Toby had given her as a corsage. "The thing is, maybe I am a dyke. I mean, I did, like, love Alison DiLaurentis. But I thought it was only Ali I loved, not that I was a lesbian. Now…now I don't know. Maybe Ben's right. Maybe I am gay. Maybe I should just deal with it."
Emily couldn't believe all that had just spilled from her mouth. She turned to Toby. His mouth was a fixed, impassive line. She thought maybe that if there was a time to admit that he'd been Ali's boyfriend, now would be it. Instead, he said quietly, "Why are you so afraid to admit that?"
"Because!" Emily laughed. Wasn't it obvious? "Because I don't want to be…you know. Gay." And then, in a quieter voice: "Everyone would make fun of me."
They rolled up to a deserted two-way stop sign. Instead of pausing and rolling through, Toby put the car into park. Emily was puzzled. "What are we doing?"
Toby took his hands off the steering wheel and stared at Emily for a long time. So long, Emily began to feel uncomfortable. He seemed upset. She touched the back of er neck, then turned away and looked out the window. The road was silent and dead and paralleled yet another cornfield, one of Rosewood's biggest. The rain was coming down harder now, and because Toby didn't turn on the windshield wipers, everything was blurry. She wished, suddenly, for civilization. For a car to drive by. A house to appear. A gas station. Something. Was Toby upset because he liked her, and she'd just come halfway out of the closet? Was Toby homophobic? This was what she would have to deal with, if she really thought she was gay. People would probably do this to her every day of her life.
"You've never been on that end of it, have you?" Toby finally asked. "You've never had anyone make fun of you."
"N-No…" She searched Toby's face, trying to understand his question. "I guess not. Well, not until Ben, anyway." Thunder cracked overhead, and she jumped. Then she saw a zigzag of lightning, slashing across the sky a few miles ahead of them. It lit things up for a moment, and Emily could see Toby frowning, picking at a button on his jacket.
"Seeing all those people tonight just made me realize how hard it used to be, living in Rosewood," he said. "People used to really hate me. But tonight, everyone was so nice—all these people who used to make fun of me. It was sickening. It was like it had never happened." He wrinkled his nose. "Do they not realize what assholes they were?"
"I guess not," Emily said, feeling uneasy.
Toby glanced at her. "I saw one of your old friends there. Spencer Hastings." Lightning flashed again, making Emily jump. Toby smiled crookedly. "You guys were such a clique, back then. You really let people have it. Me…my sister…"
"We didn't mean to," Emily said, on instinct.
"Emily." Toby shrugged. "You did. And why not? You were the most popular girls in school. You could." His voice was sharply sarcastic.
Emily tried to smile, hoping that this was a joke. Only Toby didn't smile back. Why were they talking about this? Weren't they supposed to be talking about Emily being gay? "I'm sorry. We just…We were so stupid. We did what Ali wanted us to do. And I mean, I thought you were over that, since you and Ali got together that next year—"
"What?" Toby interrupted sharply.
Emily backed against the window. Her chest burned with adrenaline. "You…you weren't fooling around with Ali in, um, seventh grade?"
Toby looked horrified. "It was hard for me even to see her," he said quietly. "Now it's hard for me even to hear her name." He put his palms to his forehead and let out a huge breath. When he faced her again, his eyes were dark. "Especially after…after what she did.
Emily stared at him. Lightning flashed again, and a stiff wind kicked up, making the cornstalks sway. They looked like hands, desperately reaching out for something.
"Wait, what?" She laughed, hoping—praying—she'd heard him wrong. Praying that she'd blink, and the night would right itself and go back to being normal.
"I think you heard me," Toby said in a flat, emotionless tone. "I know you were friends and you loved her and whatever, but personally, I'm glad that bitch is dead."
Emily felt like someone had sucked all the oxygen out of her body. Something's going to happen to you tonight. Something life-changing.
You really let people have it. Me…my sister…
It's hard for me even to hear her name. Especially after what she did…
AFTER WHAT SHE DID.
I'm glad that bitch is dead.
Toby…knew?
A crack started to form in her brain. He did know. She was sure of it, more certain than she'd ever been of anything in life. Emily felt as of she'd always known this, that it had been right in front of her face, but she'd been trying to just ignore it. Toby knew what they'd done to Jenna, but A hadn't told him. He'd known for a very long time. And he must have hated Ali for it. He must have hated all of them, if he knew they were all involved.
"Oh my God," Emily whispered. She pulled at the door handle her dress in her hands as she stepped out of the car. The rain hit her immediately and felt like needles. Of course there was something suspicious about Toby being friendly to her. He wanted to ruin Emily's life.
"Emily?" Toby unbuckled his seat belt. "Where are you—"
Then she heard the engine roar. Toby was driving down the road toward her, the passenger door wide open. She looked right and left, and then, hoping she knew where she was, she dove into the cornfield, not even caring that she was getting absolutely soaked.
"Emily!" Toby called again. But Emily kept running.
Toby killed Ali. Toby was A.