The clock on the wall read 7:15 p.m. The day had been long and exhausting, and Anne had spent hours in Ms. Natalie's hospital room. The nurse who had been attending to them had brought a tray of food, and Anne made sure that Ms. Natalie finished her food. She knew the old woman needed her strength, and she wanted to make sure she was healthy and comfortable. She was determined to do everything she could to help her.
Ms. Natalie had been stressed due to lack of sleep but finally, she was able to ease her mind and fall asleep. Anne saw this and quietly slipped out of the room, not wanting to disturb her.
Anne made her way to Carl's room, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. She slowly turned the handle and opened the door. The first thing she laid her eyes on was Carl lying on the hospital bed still unconscious.
Anne's heart ached at the sight of him, looking so vulnerable and helpless. She rushed to where he was and stood near him. She had never seen him like this before, and it was a devastating sight.
"oh, poor Carl," She whispered to herself. She kept wondering to herself what was going on inside his head, what he was thinking and feeling.
Seeing him like this was really heartbreaking for her.
"Carl, everyone is worried about you why won't you wake up?" Anne said, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. Even though Carl was unconscious, she didn't want to cry in front of him. She wanted to be strong for him, to give him the strength and hope he needed until he woke up.
Anne swallowed hard as she watched Carl remain silent and still, his eyes closed, his breathing shallow. Though she knew he was unconscious, it was hard not to feel ignored by his silence. She sat down onto a small sofa chair near the bed and she let her fingers run through her jet-black hair.
Anne had been dying to see Carl and now that she finally got the chance, it only intensified the longing she felt for him to wake up. She wanted him to open his eyes, to smile at her and say, "I'm fine, I was only sleeping," But she knew that that was just a fantasy.
Her heart twisted as she gazed at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She felt powerless to help him, and it broke her heart to see him in such a vulnerable state.
Anne didn't know where to start as she sat down there, staring at Carl's unmoving face.
"Carl," She said softly as she struggled to find the right words. "Do you know that this is the hardest thing you could do to me? To be here with you, so close, but with you unable to respond to me? It hurts me so much," she said, her eyes filling with tears.
"Call me crazy but I think I'm obsessed with your attention… When you don't respond to me, it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. I know I don't deserve you, not after the way I've treated you in the past. But I can't help how I feel," She sniffled and wiped her eyes, trying to keep her emotions in check.
"Do you remember the first day we met?" Anne asked, a weak smile tugging at her lips despite her tears. "I slapped you in the face, thinking you were some kind of pervert. You tried so hard to convince me that you weren't that kind of person, but I was too stubborn to listen. I even raised a false alarm and you got beaten up by street guys" She sighed bitterly, feeling very disappointed in herself.
"I was such a bitch" she said shaking her head in shame. "No a witch!" she corrected herself. "You used to call me a witch remember?" She said to Carl as if she was expecting a response but he just laid down there as silent as ever.
Anne continued "But despite everything I put you through, you always came through for me like you're my guardian angel. You've literally saved my life so many times I can't even count. I don't deserve you at all," she started sobbing, she could no longer hide her emotions.
"If only I had the chance to tell you how I really feel about you then maybe I wouldn't be so consumed by guilt right now… Every day and night, I regret why I pushed you away when I wanted you to be close. And what I said about not feeling anything when I kissed you... that was a lie.
I was just afraid of what it would mean if I let myself be vulnerable with you. I'm so sorry for everything. I intentionally pushed you away because I was scared of love. And look where it got me," Anne's voice cracked and she could barely get the words out. Her whole body was shaking with emotion
Hot tears were streaming down her cheeks and she couldn't control the sobs that wracked her body.
She took a few moments to catch her breath before continuing. "The time we spent apart made me realize just how much I missed you, how much I longed to be with you. That is why I got so jealous when I saw you with your secretary. You two were becoming close and I panicked. I thought you were falling for her.
I was desperate to win your heart back because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. You mean so much to me and seeing you with someone else breaks me. I was scared I'd be weak if I confessed my feelings to you but I'm not holding back anymore, I love you!" Anne said from the bottom of her heart.
"I love you, Carl," she repeated herself and she seriously meant it. She has never said those three words to Carl but her eyes have said it all whenever she stares at him.
"Can you hear me? Please hear me, I love you so much! I really do" Anne pleaded desperately.
"I can't breathe when you're not with me. I crave you, your smile, your voice, your touch. I think about you all the time, to the point that it scares me. I don't know what I'd do without you. Please know that I mean every word, I truly love you, Carl McAlester," Anne sobbed, gasping for breath. She was letting go of everything that had been in her chest for a long time now.
All she wanted right now was for Carl to wake up and speak to her but it was impossible. She bowed her head feeling hopeless but then a soft soothing voice that was barely audible spoke up "Why are you saying this now,"
Anne gasped, her eyes fixed on the bed but Carl still lay there, eyes closed, breathing slowly. Despite that, she could have sworn she heard him speak.
Or was it just her imagination?
"Why?" Anne heard a low voice again and this time, she saw Carl's lips moved.
Her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat.
Could it be?
She was terrified and exhilarated at what she just witnessed. She held her breath, straining to listen carefully to what Carl was saying.
"Why are you confessing your feelings to me on my deathbed," Carl said softly and he slowly opened his eyes. His voice was almost like a whisper as he spoke through the oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth.
Anne was frozen in place, afraid to move or breathe, in case she disturbed this delicate moment.
"DOCTOR!!" she finally spoke up in a high-pitched voice. She immediately got up from her seat ready to run from the room and find a doctor, but Carl held her hand stopping her from leaving.
"Don't leave," he pleaded. His grip was surprisingly strong for someone so ill "You haven't answered my question yet"
Anne turned to look at him, her eyes full of tears.
"Why are you confessing your feelings to me on my deathbed," Carl asked for the second time. His eyes were full of longing.
"Stop it!" Anne sobbed "Don't say that, you're not dying okay?" she leaned in closer to him and Carl held her gaze. He could see the pain in her eyes, and it tore his heart.
"You have to stop crying," he said "It's killing me softly,"
"I'm sorry," Anne said, wiping her eyes. She couldn't believe she talking to Carl right now. She felt was dreaming but if it was a dream, she definitely did not want to wake up.
Carl let out a soft sigh. He wanted to say something, but his voice was weak and he could barely speak so he took off the oxygen mask that was covering his face.
"Don't!" Anne exclaimed "You need it to help you breathe," she said as he took off the oxygen mask.
"I don't need it anymore, you are the air I need," he muttered but his voice was much clearer.
Anne's eyes welled up with tears. She felt a rush of emotion at his words, and she couldn't hold it in. She reached out and took his hand, holding it tightly.
"I told you not to cry, it hurts me a lot," Carl said, staring into Anne's beautiful eyes like he was seeing them for the first time.
"These are happy tears, Carl," Anne said, smiling through her tears. "I've missed you so much,"
"I've missed you too," Carl said, a smile playing on his lips. "come here," He gently tapped the bed "There's enough room for the both of us," he said, and he was right. Carl's hospital bed was huge and wide enough.
Carl shifted on the bed, making room for Anne and Anne felt a sudden urge to be close to him. She slowly and carefully climbed onto the bed and Carl watched her tiny figure settle in.
Anne lay down on the bed facing Carl with a decent amount of space between them. They stayed like that for a moment, simply looking at each other, until Carl held her waist and pulled her so close to him that the tip of their noses nearly touched.
Anne's heart vibrated in her chest. She had to remind herself to breathe. Carl also felt his heart beating fast as he took in the sight of her, the softness of her skin, the way her eyelashes fluttered softly as she blinked. It was so magical, so intimate, and he couldn't help but feel the force of her presence.
The air in the room felt like it was charged with an electric energy, and the world seemed to have gone silent. They were suspended in a moment of shared connection, and they both felt like they could stay like this forever.