How pathetic am I? I came all this way knowing the path I was going to walk, and yet I still feel like I could change fate. She didn't deserve this. I should be there, and here I sit. In the back of the chapel crying silently as I think about how I could've prevented it all.
* * *
The date was August 5th, 2022, my birthday. I remember it vividly. I woke up and stepped out of my bed. I had hurt my leg the day before; I had fallen down the stairs while playing with my brother. I check my phone to see what I missed while asleep and see a reminder I set for myself. "One week āā First Day of Senior Year". I, at age 17, in 7 days was going to become a senior in high school. Now to most people, they would be ecstatic, but I felt quite the opposite. 17 years of youth, and I had wasted all of it. I had no prospects to show for it.
When I was in elementary school, I was a relatively normal kid, I had good grades, smiled, and seemed to enjoy life. Moving on to middle school, I still had good grades but was no longer a social butterfly. I became recluse and removed myself from society. In 7th grade, I met a girl. Her name was Carly, and she was everything to me. She lifted my mood, and it didn't matter that everyone else hated me, because as long as she still liked me, I could still keep going. But one day...
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEāā
Oh, it looks like I'm getting a birthday call from my childhood best friend, Marc.
"Uh... Hello?"
"Oh, well if it isn't the birthday boy, how old are you? 70?" Marc says as he snickers to himself.
"Hey! Cut it out, you know I'm just as old as you" I snap in.
"Sorry, sorry, I had to. You know I can't let a good dad joke escape, especially not on a big birthday like this!"
"What do you mean? There's nothing special about turning 17?"
"Uhhhh... DUDE YES THERE IS!" He says on the phone, hurting my ears a bit this early in the morningāā I glance at the clock: 10:03 am, it in fact was not earlyāā " this is your last year to be a child, so can you promise me that you will live a little? Make a big mistake, Do something reckless, Fall in love?! These are all things every teenager our age has done except you, so come on man, go outside I'm waiting in my car!"
"WHAT THEāā" I ran to my window and opened the shade, and as he said, Marc was sitting in his red car right in my driveway.
"Alright give me a little bit, I just woke up, feel free to wait downstairs" I say, hanging up the phone and looking for clothes.
Man, that Marc sure is a character. I met him back when we were little boys, before we even had memories, and as far back as I can remember, he's always been there. Though we have grown apart a little bit, we are still each other's best friends. Marc is a nice guy, SemiāāAthletic, around 5'7", charismatic and outgoingāā in other words, my polar opposite. I'm tall, 6'1", reserved, antiāāsocial, and a potato when it comes to anything involving a ball. Looking at us, you'd think we were two students, one the victim and one the bully. But in actuality that couldn't be further from the truth. We were two peas in a pod. A perfect matching set.
"I'M COMING!" I scream to Marc downstairs.
I grab my phone, wallet, charger, headphones, shoes, and a hoodie and close my room. The slam alerts my mom as she walks out of her room and says, "Oh wow! Look, Sleeping Beauty finally shows his face!"
"Sorry Mom, but I've got to go, Marc is waiting."
"Did you think I didn't know that? He called earlier saying he was on his way, now before you leave, come here," I walk over to her a little bit, she grabs the collar of my shirt, pulls me down to her head level and gives me a kiss on my forehead.
"MOM!! I'm 17 now! Can you not do something so embarrassing without asking?"
"Oh well calm down won't you, nobody is here but us."
As she says that my head pans the room and I look down the stairs to see Marc standing at the bottom of the stairs. I slowly turn red as I realize he has seen the whole thing. Man! My Mom is so embarrassing. I bet she knew he was there, otherwise she wouldn't have said that no one was here.
"Goooooooood Morning! Happy Birthday!" Marc smiles at me with a grin that I can tell is holding back laughter.
"Oh whatever, I'm on my way out mom, I'll see you when I get home."
"Hey! Don't forget," My Mom chimes in.
"Don't forget what?" I questioned.
"I love you" She says with an endearing motherly look.
"Yeah whatever, I'll see you later Mom." I run away blushing.
"So, what's up Marc, why'd you want to hang out today?" I look at the outfit he has on, and I can definitely tell he has not been home for long, there's a crumb on his pant leg, I'm tempted to tell him, but I feel it's best I leave it for him to discover.
"What do you mean 'Why'?! It's your damn birthday man, don't tell me you forgot! I just told you a minute ago!" He gives me a hard pat on the back and chuckles a bit with a wide smile. "Now get in the car we're going somewhere"
As I step into his car, I smell a distinct car air freshener scent, the one they use in car dealerships right before you get a new car. I don't know why that stood out to me so much, I mean, his car had always smelled like this, but today, it was sort of refreshing. So, I took a deep breath in and clicked my seat belt. I turned over toward Marc as he started up his engine and asked the question to seal my fate.
"So where are we going?"