THE SUFFOCATING feeling that tightened around her lungs the more she searched for reprieve was the first feeling that Clara felt after being whisked away by Kayra, the supreme deity of the Ottoman Empire.
The tentacles of darkness wrapped around her sinking body as the cold wrapped around her like a deathly blanket. The blurred light paralleled to her and turned smaller as her body started to feel heavy and numb. Clara's fingertips tried to touch the fading light.
'Why am I brought here? I can't die now, not now! Kayra you –!'
Her murmurs stopped when a firm bronze-colored skin took her stretched hand. The suffocating cold slipped from her like a blanket being peeled off. Bathed in the sunlight as the onslaught of air attacked, Clara coughed as she kneeled to the ground – her left hand supported her while her right hand still held the warm harm that rescued her from drowning.
Green. Everything around her was green. The lush oak forest, the crystal clear azure sky that reflected the river that she just fell into; she wanted to laugh after understanding Kayra's response to her wish.
Clara, now Kosem, wanted to laugh as she stared at the person still holding her hand while coughing out water. A nostalgic silver blonde hair glinted like silverware when hit by the sunlight. The olive-colored skin made him look like a forest deity as his white satin garbs were drenched like hers.
She whispered at the back of her mind. 'Hazeyn Suleiman, the man who died because I was weak.'
Kosem wanted to reach out to him but immediately stopped her train of thought. Even with his back on her, Kosem wanted to hug him.
'It's been a long and awful dream, Hazeyn. And you are here again with me.'
A big part of her reined her emotions tightly. 'Stop it, Kosem. I became a burden to him because I was easily swayed by emotions. But never again. I will crush those who trampled at us, my king.'
"Thank you, may the peace be upon you." Kosem could still remember this day. This was the fateful day when the fifteen-year-old Kosem met the eighteen-year-old Hazeyn. Kosem could vividly remember the original timeline when Hazeyn saved Kosem from drowning after the latter took a bath in the river nearest to the palace out of curiosity about the river with the most pristine water in the empire – so they said.
"Hanim, I did not know there was a new trend in the woman's bathing? Teach me, are you sleeping while taking a bath or bathing to fall asleep?" The curiosity laced in his voice overlapped the teasing tone he had. Kosem felt a breath being robbed from her when her eyes met his lilac ones – the eyes that she, as Clara, possessed four hundred seventy years in the future.
His lilac glinted like jewels underneath the sun, though he was wearing far humbler clothing. Kosem knew that the young Sultan would sneak out of the palace during his young years – he was a free spirit who wanted to view the world through his eyes and not scrolls and transcripts.
The meek Kosem from the original timeline fell for this side of him, not knowing that he was the ruler of the empire that she was living. But now, Kosem could see this habit of his as a weakness. The Sultan's palace was a place that devoured people hiding behind the pretext of false loyalty.
'And that is Zeyn and the original Kosem's first mistake.'
Tilting her head like an ignorant child, Kosem answered the words that would make Hazeyn remember her. She needed to imprint her role as Hazeyn Suleiman's queen, not just his secret lover. "If Bey left me alone earlier, I would have been able to answer your curiosity."
Hazeyn's eyes widened before he chortled. "And here I thought that Hanim is grateful to me."
Upon seeing his twinkling curious-laden eyes staring at her, Kosem smiled innocently at him before walking away. "This Hanim is thankful to you, Hazeyn Bey."
"How did you know my name? Are you an assassin sent by the Grand Vizier?" The hostility burnt like embers in his darkening eyes as he stood in front of her – his hands clenched as he readied himself to strike the young girl in front of him. He was cursing the greedy old man in his mind upon imagining that she sent a small child to be the bait.
Kosem giggled, shaking her head childishly to convince him of her vulnerability and that a mouse like her could not dare harm the young Sultan. "Always remember this, Sultan Hazeyn Suleiman; I am always on your side." She hurriedly walked away, her bare feet touching the soft grassland of the oak forest. But before she could leave him, Kosem partially looked back at the stunned young boy. "And stop drinking that sherbet. It will bring you further problems in the future."
'That sherbet – spice cold fruit drink – will weaken your body and pose a grave danger to your health three months from now. You need to know that the servants you trusted are under the Grand Vizier's influence. You need to accumulate power to your side, my king.'
Kosem was about to continue her steps when Zeyn replied. "Why are you doing this?"
'Why? Because I will save you in this lifetime.'
Her eyes sharpened before she turned around and offered her a simple smile. "Why? Because I like Zeyn, and I don't want him to die!"
'In fact, I came back from hundred years from now just to save you, my king. I am not here to love you but to save you.'