CHAPTER ONE
1599, William Shakespeare,
"I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation;
nor the musician's, which is fantastical;
nor the courtier's, which is proud;
nor the soldier's, which is ambitious;
nor the lawyer's, which is politic;
nor the lady's, which is nice;
nor the lover's, which is all these;
but it is a melancholy of mine own,
compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects,
and, indeed, the sundry contemplation of my travels;
in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness."
September 2012.
A lot had happened in the last 24 years of Catherine's life, but she had been strong for herself and Salome. She had managed to keep her daughter by her side and safe. For 24 years she kept the truth hidden from her daughter and now that she was leaving to further her studies, Catherine couldn't ignore the voice in her head whispering endless possibilities of the truth being exposed. She was scared Salome would learn of the things she had kept hidden and hate her for keeping the truth from her. But Catherine couldn't bring herself to tell Salome, the past should stay in the past.
In as much as she'd wished things to be different but are not, this was her present and possibly her future, she has Salome and she tried to be content not to wish for more, even though she wished she could.
Now was going to let go of everything once again to ensure her daughter's happiness and safety.
Catherine had been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Salome strolled in on her.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
Salome asked, strolling toward her mother.
"Huh"
Catherine startled. She had no clue Salome was there until she called out to her.
Salome was all dressed up waiting for her mother to come down and join the rest of the family downstairs but when Catherine didn't, she went up to her room only to find her on the bed holding an old photo of her mother and a man whom she didn't get to see the face.
"What is it, Mom?"
She asked again closing in on the space between them.
"Nothing my child"
Catherine answered, quickly putting the photo away.
"Actually, with the manner you are staring at that photo, one would mistake you for an assassin"
She joked, hoping to cheer her up. Salome walked over to her mother who was sitting on a stool placed in front of the dresser. And wrapped her hands around Catherine's shoulders. She could tell from the expression on her mother's face that something wasn't right. It was a day to be joyful, every member of the family was happy, all but her. Salome was sure it wasn't because she was leaving, no, it was something else, something that always bothered her mother whenever she looks at the photography.
The photo seems to have the power to anger her mother or make her sad. She wished she knew more, but she never got to see the other face in the photo. This was a secret her mother never shared with her. And it bothered her that there was nothing she could do to undo whatever had happened in the past that still hurts her mother.
Staring at her mother's reflection in the mirror on the dresser she lower her head and said as calmly as possible.
"if you are not comfortable with me leaving. Then I will stay back and be with you"
"no, you should go. I am a fine, my child"
Salome wasn't convinced, there was more than what her mother was willing to tell. And she was more convinced that her mother wasn't fine. She lied to soothe her.
It hurt her to see her mother this way and it hurt her, even more, to acknowledge that the photo always put her mother in such a mood.
She quietly withdrew and sat on the bed.
"I know you, Mom. Whenever you stare at this photo your mood changes. Is there something I should know?"
She asked as she quietly withdrew and sat on the bed.
Catherine could sense the worry in her daughter's voice, it broke her to hide so much from her child, but she knew it was for the best.
"Nothing my child, you don't have to worry yourself"
She reassures, in her usual calm way. But Salome wasn't fooled, she could tell her mother was avoiding the question.
"Mom, please tell me what is bothering you. If there is something you want me to do, I will do it. I can stay back if that will make you happy…"
"no, please go. You need to, you have worked so hard for this, please don't mind Mom okay? I promise I will be fine, do not worry"
She reassured but when she lifted her eyes to her daughter, she met an expression that told her, Salome didn't buy her excuse.
"I insist, you shouldn't be bothered about me Salome, I will be fine, my dear Medical doctor"
"My darling daughter had grown into a lovely lady, I couldn't be happier…"
"Oh, shit!"
Raina exclaim. Breaking the two from a mother and daughter passionate hug.
The tension downstairs was continuously building, when the other family members couldn't wait any longer for Salome to return downstairs with her mother. Raina, Catherine's younger sister had offered to call them out.
"I can't believe you are both still cuddling up here, while Dad and I have been waiting"
"Aunt Raina"
Salome blushed.
"come on you too, we need to get going, else you'll miss your flight"
Salome could not contain her joy, she was about to take another step in her career. It was tedious rounding up her program at the medical college. But here she was again, she had turned down offers to stay back and work at the hospital as permanent staff. She recalled her conversation with her colleagues and the patients she had left behind, she would miss them. She would miss her family and friends too. This felt like the first time she went to college, but this was different, she'd been recertified in cardiology. She had been practicing family medicine for a while and now she wished to narrow it down to a specialty.
In less than twenty-four hours, Salome was at the airport, in New York, a city of endless possibilities. Hours on the plane gave her time to think and appreciate everything and everyone she had left behind in Florida. Though deep down her heart she missed home already, her family, colleagues, and her patients-she wish them speedy recovery- and her friends- Lucy, Jay, Jenny, Maylene, Jasmine, and Jasper-most of whom were her colleagues-she couldn't resist the excitement that threatens to explore within her.
She had barely settled in her apartment when she received a video clip from Jasmine and Jasper. She couldn't hide the excitement in her heart and the tears that threaten to pour out.
She was both happy and pained at the same time, she remembered all the amazing things they did last weekend before her trip.
The clip ended with a message, stating how much they missed her and the effect of her absence from the hospital.
Jasmine and Jasper were twins, and her friends from as far as she could recall, there started in kindergarten when the twins stood up for her against a bully, through medical college. Unlike her, the twins' parents were both black, and as far as she understood they were together as a family. A relationship she had envied and wished she had with her parents growing up.
She had to struggle over the years to accept being different in her family, her parents were mix raced but never together. Her mother, Aunt Raina and Gramps were all white but she was different, she was black with long sleek hair. Growing up, the scenario of being the odd one among her folks had been challenging and greatly devastating even as a child.
Salome grew up without knowledge of her father. All she knew was that he was black which explained her complexion and that was all she knew.
No one spoke of him, at least not to her hearing. But she wasn't oblivious to the whispers and sentiment in the neighborhood. It was hard to get by without a quick reminder of her place from her peers.
It wasn't until she was ten years, she summoned up the courage to confront her mother after she was bullied by her peers at the park.
Catherine was in the kitchen preparing dinner when Salome with a gloomy expression.
"mom"
Salome shuffled a long sad expression on her face. Her eyes sullied from crying.
"Mom"
She called again, this time preventing her mom's gaze.
Casting a glance at Salome Catherine returned her attention to the oven.
"yes Salome, what is it dear?"
Salome found it difficult to speak, the words caught in her throat, she couldn't seem to get them out, but she struggled nonetheless.
"Mom, why…"
She trailed off.
"why am l black like Jasmine and Jasper? While You, Gramps, and Aunt Raina are white?"
The sudden stun on her mother's face should have warned against her next statement, but she didn't. Salome was determined to have her questions answered regardless of the sudden sadness in Catherine's eyes.
"Mom, please, answer me, am I adopted?"
There, she said. Letting out it like that felt good but only for a moment, she hadn't considered the implications and the trauma of what the answers would propose.