CHAPTER FOUR
Admiral Sue pride himself on being sensible and highly responsible, a highly placed naval officer of a high ranking. He was the one turned to for classified operation and is known for his intelligence at handling confidential operations. Now starting at the windowpane in his office, he wonder if he had lost his charge with the dawning of age. Aside being a hard worker-his work experience as evidence-he commit himself to being a loving father, and one who is always present.
As promised, Sue spent most of his years raising his girls after the passing of Lucy, a woman he loved and cherished dearly. Operating effectively as naval official and father was a duty he took to heart, and he'd created a balance such that none overlap the other.
As the years passed by, he devoted more time to his girls, making sure they lacked nothing. But today, as he stare out the window he let regrets and accusations ravish his soul.
He failed her.
His eyes drift to the photo of a beautiful blonde, with grayish eyes. She looked happy in the photo. While indeed their reality wasn't. The family he'd fought to keep together in loving memory of his wife was tearing apart. It hurt him to take a second glance at the frame. He failed her. Failed in his promises to her. He just lost one of her gem to a no-good man.
If only she was alive to raise her girls, things would have been different, she would have done a better job than being an epic failure at parenting. The ache in his heart was unbearable. His knees weaken at the realization of his failure at parenting.
Instead of retiring home after deserting work, for the first time in months, Sue squirmed to his wife's resting place. The graveyard extracted memories he'd bury deep in his bosom. Each memory of her that resurfaced hurt him in a more deeper level.
"I lost it. I've lost our treasure"
He crawled before her tomb wailing. The sense of failing plucking at his heart.
"why!"
Sue asked to no one in sight.
"Why did you leave? You should be here. Why didn't you fight? Why Lucy why!"
He questioned, his heart bleeding from grief. If Lucy hadn't died birthing Raina things could have been different, Catherine would have been raised better, with a mother to direct her and she wouldn't have left home and run off with a man to Nigeria.
Lucy was a woman Sue admired and held in high esteem, she was his best friend and only family until they had Catherine and Betty. During her third pregnancy with Raina, she had been forced into undue labor at thirty-two weeks, upon birthing Raina, she lost her life in the process. Lucy's passing traumatized Sue and his little girls-Catherine, Betty and little Raina. And Promises broken.
" you promise to hold on. You promise to fight, you promise to wait. You broke your word"
Sue accused. The untimely death was a grudge he held against her and a grief he never recovered from.
By the time Admiral Sue left the graveyard, he was spent.
He arrived home to meet the gloomy faces of Betty and Raina, like him the news of Catherine's decision to relocate with her husband, met them at their worst.
As they stare at the pale image of their father befuddled. Both girls panicked at the thought of what it could do to Sue. Raina feared for her father's health. Sometime in the last he'd suffered a major heart attack and everyone feared the re-occurrence of his health conditions. Just like everyone else wasn't pleased with Catherine's decision either bit there was little she could do to help the situation. Her incapability to do anything but watch things unfold felt like a screw was being driven through her heart.
Beth however saw it coming, she just didn't imagine it would be sooner rather than later. It hurt now more to see she had supported the union and persuaded Sue to give his blessings. Now, the look in his eyes, the pain in his heart, the un-cried tears he held back. Made her regret her decision even more. She had always known Catherine to be a strong-willed woman, hence, she felt Catherine would be persuasive enough to keep Deji in the country, but the reverse is the case. For him, Catherine was willing to walk away without as much as looking back. So much for family she thought to herself. If this is what being joined in marriage meant, then there was no way she'd let herself get caught up in it. Her thought shifted to Sue, who looked as miserable as he did when her mother died, it was a sight she never hope to seen again. But today it resurfaced like it was always there waiting. She hated to see him this, and she hated Deji more for being the architect of her family's misery.
When Sue open his mouth to speak, she heard the anguish in his voice, the last Betty saw her father this way was after the dead of her mother. She'd always thought him strong and tough. But all that was hidden away from them but today it was unleash. He didn't hid his pain like he tried to before. Maybe she gave him too much credit, maybe he suffers more than they do but never shows it.
There was nothing Betty could do to help. Catherine has decide against all odd to relocate with Deji. Not even her father's agony could change her nor influence her decision.
Betty stood speechless with Raina watching their father drown himself with a bottle of whiskey. A habit he only takes up when pained. The sight no doubt was mentally draining. With a huff, she sent Raina to bed and then joined her father on the edge.
"the bottle doesn't hold the answer, you know"
She mumbled, and crouched behind the wall, pouring herself a glass.
"She isn't coming back, is she?"
He scoff.
"She should, it's not a death sentence"
Death, he thought, he refused to project negativity, but there was no guarantee Catherine would excel in an uncivilized and barbaric country, miles away from his reach and supervision. He knew this from some of his mission from thirty years back. Then he was a young lad and a newbie at base. It was his first official mission with his crew, he'd lost a lot of his men on that voyage.
"we'll be fine, Dad"
Sue pulled out from his trance. After all thirty years was a long a time for a country to pick up from their ruin.
He sighed.
"If Lucy were here"
"she would have had a really tough time"
"she could have done a better job"
Would it? Could she? Would have things be different if Mom had survived?
Betty didn't remember much of Lucy. All she had were faint memories of family dinners, trips, and a few walks along the park. None depicts Lucy's personality, what she was like or what she could have done differently. But she remembered the effect of her passing on all of them.
Betty sighed, she didn't see how anything could be different. Or how Lucy would have convinced Catherine to stay back.
"She will be back. Eventually. she will"
"and if she doesn't?"
"It's ok Dad, worry less. She is only gone for a few weeks. She will be back before you miss her too much"
She said convincingly, half wishing it was true. Their little moment brought more color to Sue's pale skin.
"Come on Admiral Sue, we need to sober up"
Betty said after a long silence, she took the glasses to the sink and what was left of the bottle of whiskey back into the cellar.
"If Lucy were here, she would have raised our girls better"
Sue hanged his head in defeat.
"Don't say that Dad, you know why? Because you are the best Dad ever, and I think you did a great job"
She consoled. But meant every word of it. And Sue knew she did too. The little Father and daughter moment got Sue thinking maybe he didn't do bad, maybe Catherine was too strong willed and like Lucy, she was decisive. Maybe he taught her too well