"Jace!" I shout.
He turns around on the ledge, he doesn't care, he isn't careful. He spins in haste.
"Lucy, go," he says, there were tears in his eyes, I've never seen him like this.
I walk closer but he shouts. "Stay back!" he yells at me, I get a fright at his outburst.
"Jace please, you're scaring me. Come back down so we can talk, okay?" I say my voice desperate and pleading.
He shakes his head, "I can't do this anymore. With him!" Jace cries. "I can't! I can't." he lets out a broken sob. My heart feels heavy, I don't want to lose him and especially, not like this. He is too erratic.
I gasped as I saw the bruise on his eye, with blood running down from it. Cracked porcelain, stained with black and red oozing down. "Jace, please!" I fell to my knees. "please Jace, please!" I beg and beg. The feeling of my body going numb overcomes me. I feel desperate, I'd do anything.
But he shakes his head. "I need you to go," he says quietly. My stomach is sick with knots.
I stand up, my legs shaky. I can't bear the thought of what he wants to do. It sickens me too deeply. I start sobbing uncontrollably. "Please stop this, can't you see what you'll do to me? I came looking for you. I care about you!" I plead for him to stop.
His face breaks, and he starts crying as if he's been holding it in for his entire life. A sharp cry that didn't sound like him at all. He was too broken, too far gone. Too hurt to be reasoned with. His cry made my heart bleed, he couldn't stop his back and chest moved rhythmically with the cries he made. It brought tears to my eyes. His usual emotionless face is filled with repressed feelings, emotions that he's been holding in, and now they burst. He is broken, no he was broken before now he is just pieces that are too sharp to pick up.
"I can't take it anymore!" He cries brokenly. "My parents… my parents were the only ones who loved me. My grand- my grandfather beats me to a pulp he blames me for their death. I was just a kid." he held his arms, cradling himself. "I didn't know better. I should have died that day! Not them." he sobs, folding over as if the pain were too much to carry. It's already eaten him and now he is hollow. I reeled in what he was saying. I thought that if I could keep him talking. Maybe there could be hope.
"Jace." I step closer. "Please think about this, you can't take it back."
His face changes into that expressionless face he always carries with him. But only this is different. The face he makes is so far gone, so unnatural and morbid. He's made up his mind, hasn't he? Oh, please God no. Please save him for me. I wasn't religious, but I prayed inside my mind with all my heart begging for his life. I let out breaths I couldn't catch.
"I'm utterly and entirely alone," he replies expressionlessly.
It felt like hours of me standing there slowly moving closer, I wanted it to be done but, I didn't want to see how this ends. So I will stay here for however long it takes me, I need to see him tomorrow. I let out a sob.
"You'll break my heart, please. You'll hurt me so badly! I care about you so much. I can't bear the thought of losing you, Jace." I cry softly, my throat tight.
"Oh, Lucy, can't you see that you've already lost me." he shakes his head impatient for the misery to end.
"No, don't say that!" I cry out.
He smiles to himself. He looks deep inside my soul, eyes darkened and glossy with tears. "I love you," he says calmly, a peace washing over him and falls back, letting the air catch him.
The split seconds seemed longer. Time froze and my heart dropped, everything moved painstakingly slow. His shoulder-length hair covered his eyes as he looked at me.
I couldn't accept it.
I rush over, moving fast catching his arm, putting my foot on the ledge using my foot to throw my entire weight back. Jace landed on top of me. He looked shocked. He was light and weak. I wrapped my arms around him, trapping him. Scared he would try to move. But mainly I was hugging him, taking in his scent and thanking God.
I started to call for help not knowing what to do. "Help!" I called repeatedly until someone found us, my voice tired and cracked. Jace's head was buried in my shoulder. He didn't move.