AS we walked in our usual routine, people where either gwaking, glaring at me or simping over him, I still didn't get it, Bleh.
it's been a week since our fake relationship took off, and as predicted every dummy in school was eating it up, I did NOT bother changing the way I dressed I still came to school in my usual get up, wearing clothes that made me comfortable, was the only thing that made me feel like me.
He decided to pass his arms round my shoulder, which I found really offensive because the harshness of his perfume, was stinging my eyes, seriously who sprays that much perfume?, now I have to fight for my life, because I couldn't breathe.
walking down the hallways to our class was a nightmare for me, my quite space where nobody knew me, was now flooded with all these people that I didn't even care about, suddenly everybody knows my name, and everybody wants to act like we are "FRIENDS", just because am supposed to be 'dating' Kyle.
Most girls hated me but I could live with that, some said I wasn't worth Kyle, when in reality it was the complete OPPOSITE!, He wasn't WORTH ME!!, Gadd!
all I wanted more than anything was to get to class so this guy would get his stupid arms off me, I tried wriggling out but he just pulled me closer, smile he whispered, I rolled my eyes
Just then, by the side of some lockers at my left I saw him, (sighs) Jason McKenney, he was laughing with his football team as they huddled up together, I kept staring at him, and in a split second I imagined our life together, me and him walking down the aisle, we raising three kids and a dog,
As I took a step closer I sniffed in all the air I could get just so I could Perceive his amazing scent, his signature Harry diggin's cologne, Haaah, if only he'd notice me, right here, I would literally be the happiest girl in the world...
Hey kyle mim suddenly walked up to us, he didn't answer her, his arms still wrapped around my shoulder.
hii mim, I said trying to smile, she just stared me down, yikes there's some tension here and clearly am in the middle of it.
So? am throwing a party at my parents condo,by nine, I'll really love for you to be there she said taking her phone from one of the girls behind her.
I really didn't know whose ego was bigger, hers? or Kyle's? They were PERFECT for each other.
we'll be there I assured, because Kyle didn't look like he would answer her any minute from now.
No one asked you she flared up, I was talking to Kyle, she announced coming closer trying to touch him.
What did I do? am the victim here. I yelled in my head, literally, I was crying for help.
He withdrew his arms, well if she doesn't come I am not coming either.
He's hands had found their way to my lower back right about now, was that some grand alpha gesture?. I kissed my teeth.
I so badly wanted to go to that party most especially because I was an 100 and 1 percent sure that Jason would be there.
But it seemed like he didn't want to go because I know for sure Kyle didn't care if I went or not.
Urgg. Fine!!, She can come or whatever, mim finally caved,
Too bad we aren't going anyway.kyle announced.
I knew he didn't want to go,
Hem,Hem I cleared my throat as I checked my Tab, according to your, I mean OUR schedule, we don't have anything planned by nine o clock Friday I said ignoring all the signals Kyle's fingers where giving me at my back.
She kept on looking at me like I was the third wheel which honestly I was, but still, I was doing her a favour,
ungrateful bitch. I murmured,
whatever, the theme is 80's Queens look, she said as she gave me one last glance before exiting the hallway in the most iconic way, She always left people staring when she walks in and out of a building.
Immediately she left there Kyle pulled me by the arm, and dragged me into some old class room.
I had been in this school for three years and I had never seen this class in my life before, maybe this was where he hooked up with girls, I thought looking at him judgyly.
What's wrong with you? He asked, holding up his thumb and his index finger to his forehead
what do you mean?, it's working, your plan is working, it isn't even up to a two weeks but she already wants you back, isn't that what you wanted? I asked trying to stall and come up with some reasonable reason for ignoring my boss.
That doesn't answer my question, I gave you signals and I am well aware you frigging saw Them he whispered yell, what's your job? he asked further.
personal assistant.
KEY WORD!!, ASSISTANT!, your job is to assist ME, like assist me in coming up with a reason to NOT go to that party, he said pacing around.
I wa...
what's wrong with you? why don't you EVER do as your told? he asked folding his hands looking down at me.
I was doing my job, I knew your dad's gonna be home by Friday, and I also know you don't want to be around him so I did that, I lied.
he exhaled,How'd you know I don't want to be around him? He asked more calmly now.
you told me, you wouldn't remember because you were, you know drunk and all.
He kissed his teeth, next time run things by me okay? he commanded as he walked out of the classroom leaving me standing there all by myself.
He should know that he's not always gonna get what he wants when it comes to me.
**********
At recess, I and Kyle sat together, like we always did, it was boring, Silent and void of conversation, But there was a lot of holding hands and fake smiles, we had to act like we actually liked each other, he was really selling it, he was really looking like he actually liked me, urgg.
Marcus used to seat with us, but Lord only knows where's his been off to lately.
Uhmm, hii Kyle, am a really big fan of your pictures ,you know from hot teen magazines, uhm anyways can I get a selfie with you? some girl came over to our table.
Kyle smiled, sure, whats your name? he asked with a smile.
The dumb girl blushed, Taylor, Taylor Palmer, she answered playing with her hair.
alright Taylor one selfie .
After the picture, Hi? The girl said to me, Hey I answered not at all interested in what she wanted to say,
Are you Kyle's sister she asked, obviously that's a dumb question, WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE, he's got ocean eyes have got Brown eyes, my hair is black,long and silky, while his is well BROWN, so no idiot we are not related.
But before I said anything.
SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!,MINE!, he said with so much boldness, I looked at him,
when he says stuffs like this I am not really sure how to react, Because am not really certain if he means it not,
Because his whole body language changes, which make me think, DAMN, He's a either a really good actor or he's being sincere, So I faked a smile.
Am sorry I didn't mean to pry the girl apologized, Its just she always literally with you and all you guys EVER do is hold hands.
argggg, nosey bitch.
I glared at her, what was she getting at?
well that's because we don't like PDA, but I assure you when we are alone(Swallows and laughs ackwardly), we are literally inseparable, I lied oh God what have I become?
Public affection is fine by me, I could kiss her right now, if I wanted, but we are'nt here trying to be next Kim and Kanye, we like our things.Quite and easy, he looked at me like, right destiny?
yes definitely!
oh? that's.. Sweet?, I respect that( Someone who doesn't respect that) but, okay fine I know your destiny, and I know Kyle, obviously, I just, my birthdays coming up and what I really want so bad is to see guys.. KISS!, because we are rooting for you guys..
IS SHE FOR REAL?, are you kidding me I asked unable to hide my anger.
This had Kyle written ALL over it, he definitely payed this "Fan girl" to come over to our table to make us ki ki ki you know what I can't even say it.
Kyle laughed, Taylor right? if you want to see us kiss so bad we could do that, right babe he asked facing me.
Riiiiight. i said in between my teeth.
Come on, he gestured for me to come closer , I shook my head slightly begging him with my eyes not to do this, what if Jason sees?.
I didn't want to do it, but this girl looked like a gossip, if people where to find out THIS wasn't real Kyle would get shamed, then my life would be OVER!.
I guess we are doing this I thought, suck it up destiny.
He looked at me asking with his eyes if I was ready.
Am not!! I screamed with my eyes.
Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine.
they were soft.
And and I kissed back, I didn't know why or when but I kissed him, he's soft big hands where gently on my neck and he continued kissing, Then suddenly...
I WAS KISSING KYLE!!, AND I WAS ACTUALLY INTO IT? what's wrong with me ewwww!
I broke the kiss, and slowly licked my lips.
eeeeiii!!!!, the girl shrieked that was Soo romantic.
urgg just shut up and leave.
oh my God!!, you guys are so cute together, thanks for the selfie, and thanks for showing what it feels like to be INLOVE!
oh my God, did she take a picture? she totally took a picture, my life is officially done, I kissed him this guy and ughhh, I thought extremely grossed out.
******
Kyle had a modelling shoot today so we went after school.
I liked going to shoots with Kyle, they had the best free snacks AND I got to see some half naked guys Food for my mouyh and eyes.
At the shoot I kept stuffing my face with chocolate candy, Kyle kept glaring at me for some reason has he posed for his pictures, the French photographer said his facial expressions where perfect so in a way am kind of his inspiration.
Hi there some handsome jock walked up to me.
This happens slot and Kyle always ruined my chances of actually having a love life.
If Jason wouldn't notice me atleast let me have time for the ones who actually admired my exquisite beauty, but Noooo, your supposed to be my girlfriend don't talk to people bla bla bla.
Hey you? I said with my mouth full.
sorry I placed the candy bar on my lap.
I couldn't help but notice you sitting her alone he said taking a sit next to me,
but am not alone, I have snacks I teased.
Hah, he chuckled am Ian he introduced as he looked at me.
Damn!! my body changed because the look hot Ian was giving to me wa...
And am Kyle her boyfriend!
dahhh! I yelped, ky Kylee sir I stuttered.
am sorry men I didn't mean to if I had known she was your I wouldn't have walked up to her.
whimmmp!! I spat. I couldn't bear this anymore.
I angrily grabbed my bag and my snacks and angryly walked out.
What have I told you about eating junk and talking to the other guys I work with? Kyle asked me as he drove us home, you NEVER listen to me.
you do know am not just some tools right? I have a life of my own, FEELINGS!, you can't always chase guys away from me Kyle, that wasn't part of the deal, especially when you don't act nice to me the way you pretend to do in public, ofcourse guys are gonna wanna talk to me it's MY right to tell the No not your's your not my boyfriend, brother or dad,you have no right to do what you are doing I flared up.
Oh please you and I know what they want, if there is anything, you should be thanking me.
Like you don't want the same thing? I spat..
That kiss at the cafeteria had Kyle written all over it!!, you probably payed that "FAN GIRL", to come over to our table, talk shit and make u s kiss, you you conniving, scheming dahhhh!!.
what?!, okay let's get this straight, because we've been over this I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU, if you laid naked on my bed for a month, I would sleep on that same bed, without ever thinking of touching you, get off your high horse.
Oh really, well then stopp cock blocking me, we are not even friends stop it, I don't like you ATALL, loathe the ground you work on,let me have a life!, the whole world doesn't have to bend to your ' Rules' Kyle!
you hate me?, it didn't feel that way when kissed me, you were probably having the time of your life.
What??? WHAT?!!, you jumped even when I pleaded with my eyes, I have standards and you sir are not one of them. I scoffed.
You know what? stop the car, stop the frigging car Kyle!!, I'd I'd rather walk home than ride with you, I yelled trying to open the door, while he was driving, he didn't even glanced at me he called me bluff.
stop this car right now!!, or I'll tell and say your trying to kidnap me. I threatened.
GET OUT!!, he barked as he angrily stepped on the brakes, I almost flew from the backseat to the front seat because I wasn't wearing my seat belt, but I didn't care I just wanted to get out of this toxic air space, so I recollected myself and opened his door.
He drove off, leaving particles of dust behind.
I hope you get a speeding ticket!! I yelled, as I angrily walked north, my house was a few blocks away, and sincerely speaking I was fighting every urge to cry.
I hated the way he talked to me I thought with teary eyes, why does he act that way? I know am attractive, but but, he makes it seem like am some ugly duckling, I sniffed as I opened our vintage italian front doors with my kyes.
Mom?, Dad?, great no one's home I can quitely cry myself to sleep in my bathtub.
*****
All destiny ever wanted was to do something and not feel like she was making a mistake, all Kyle ever did was torment her, with his words, actions and his death stare, she deeply wished Annie was here telling her all her problems on face time didn't feel the same as in person.
will all this stop?, how much of this hate could she take? was this really worth it? she could always beg her parents to carry a loan to pay of her debts, all these thoughts ran through her mind as she let warm water flow through the top of her head to the sole of her feet, in a minute from now she would slowly sit on the bathroom floor and roll herself up under the showers and cry, regretting ever waking up that day, she wailed so hard that you wouldn't even know where the water begins and the tears end, her strong outer layer was cracking, and with one more blow it would all come crumbling down.
This wasn't the first time she cried herself in the shower, and it wasn't going to be her last.