You need to be able to Express yourself, she explained sitting on my swing.
I don't know if you've noticed but am not the feelings type, I boost.
And where as that gotten you she murmured, but I could hear her, she's been crossing ALOT OF LINES, these past days.
Second step is, Apologies, you have to apologise to every female you've prettily broken up with, She said,sprewing garbage from her lips.
now am offended, what gave you the impression that have ever broken up with a girl over something pretty?. any girl I ended things with deserved it, and besides have only ever dated two people.
She looked at me like I was lieing.
what? am being serious, the rest where just hookups and I clearly told them I didn't want a relationship, but once you go Kyle you'll want to become fly.
Eww, Do your really expect me to believe that? She scoffed.
I shrugged, believe what you want but I have only ever dated two girls Jolie and my now ex mim, every other ones where just hookups, who couldn't accept the fact that they where just hookups.
Jolie?, did you literally just made that up?.
I chuckled.
Jolie and I were childhood friends, our moms worked at the same bank, so we just kinda hit off, from age five we were friends, then that thing with my dad happened, and I was with her all the time, She was funny and God she made me happy a...
Really? She asked with her eyebrows all up.
would you just shut up and let me talk?.
ANYWAYS, when we turned fourteen, we literally started liking each other Alot, so I asked her out on her fifteenth birthday and boy was she happy, But two months later her dad was diagnosed with cancer, stage four, I was with her throughout the whole ordeal.
***
It's okay Jolie, it's gonna be alright, I tried comforting her, but the tears kept coming, her dad died after months of battling cancer, everyday I went to her house after school, I was always with her, and I tried to make her laugh, I was there for her through the four stages of grief and it was a long one, I didn't complain because she lost her father, a important pillar in her tender life, I wouldn't be sad if my dad died but we were different, She actually adored her father.
After weeks, she looked like she was getting better, smiling more we would go out, to movies, and I was happy that my girlfriend was back, but she suddenly started calling off our plans and making excuses about band practice,she quit Band practice in the 7th grade so there was no way she was going to band practice, and even if we hung out it was never in her house she didn't let me come to her house anymore she always came over to mine.
one day I walked in on her using meth in her room, I was so shocked because I thought that we were past this sadness and grieve but obviously we weren't.
she begged me not to tell her mom and older siblings, She said she needed time, and I said okay that I wouldn't tell anybody if she promised to stop and go therapy, I think that was when everything, turned South and from there on out I lost control and I, I wasn't able to help her because she wouldn't let me.
she stopped speaking to me and she started going out with some Street kids, she literally ignored me at school and did the same at home, I couldn't take it anymore I had to tell xavier, her older brother, he was in highschool he didn't believe me at first until he walked in on her doing drugs in her room, then he told Mrs Presley, their mom, She flipped, she cried, She came to my mom for help, and they both questioned me if I knew anything, I denied and feigned ignorance.
From there she was in and out of rehab, for some reason she'd always Relapse, anytime I went over to see her at her house which was at the opposite side of my street, she wouldn't come out to see me, we were strangers I couldn't tell why she pushed me away. Destiny, I had so much love to give, I could help her, I loved her, I didn't need anyone to tell me before I knew we were done.
After my birthday which was in February, I learnt that my mom and dad where getting back together, I was so devastated, frustrated, angry, betrayed and hurt. How could she just take him back? he left us, he left us to Alone before you know it, we were moving out from our house, and he brought us here, anyways when I was packing up, Jolie walked into my room, I was surprised, She looked pale.
Jolie?.
ah, I heard you were moving out she said.
I nod.
she smiled, and breathe out, we had Alot of memories here she said, picking up a pink Teddy bear, you remember when you got me this? when we were eleven for Valentine's day, She chuckled, you saved your three months allowance for me, she said and a tear gathered in her eyes.
I smiled at the thought,
Can I keep this she asked?
Sure, it's yours anyways.
Am sorry Kyle, I,I didn't mean to push you away, I just, I just didn't want you to see me loose myself, and I know you tried Kyle, but you cant save me Kyle, you can't, I lost my dad in October,I know it isn't an excuse, I know, but am still grieving Kyle, I sti..
Her voice was breaking and she was fighting hard to hold her tears, and I found myself crying too because she was in so much pain.
I love Jolie, you were my best friend and I fell inlove with you, we were doing alright, I was doing a great job as your boyfriend, you seemed happy like you were getting better, then you changed what happened?. I asked her.
I don't know, I got addicted to my antidepressant pills, they made me numb, they made not feel anything, I liked that feeling, it was better tha, than being sad, so I Said, if antidepressant could make me feel this way, what about actual drugs, and I dunno once I started I just couldn't stop, but am trying I'll try now, for me and for you, She said holding my hands.
Am living tomorrow morning Jolie.
I know, she sobbed even more, I don't want you to leave, please Kyle.
It's okay I said placing her head on my chest, I love you Alot, you are my soulmate Jolie She looked sadly at me, I love you too Kyle, ah, Am sorry.
It's okay, I don't want to be alone either, I want you do stay with me, I said as I continued robbing her back.
I lift her head up and I kissed her so passionately, because I wouldn't be able to see her again, I was moving to another state.
we stayed, laughed, talked about old times and I lost count of the times I told her I loved her because I really did.
Getting here it took me two years before I could actually love anyone again, I met mim, and she blew me away, but even she did the worst.
So that's it, have never cheated neither have I been Petty, I just, am not lucky with love.
Destiny looked at me.
don't look at me like that, I said, don't look at me with pity.
It's just, it's just so sad, I didn't know you went through that at a young age, i mean to watch your best friend dive into addiction, that most be traumatic, am really sorry.
its Okay, I don't talk about it at all, have never really told anyone about this, your literally the first person. I said. we stayed there silent for awhile.
******
I felt really bad for Kyle, he didn't seem like someone who would really love anybody.
At least you've experienced love, I said breaking the silence.
what do you mean?, you've gatto have loved someone.
well I do, but he doesn't knows about it.
Kyle laughed so hard, and in a minute he was back to being mean.
This isn't funny.
Then why. I laughing? You have me, and your still can't up your game with guys, wow. he mocked.
I would have had GAME, but a certain someone, I said eyeing him, wouldn't even let me speak to other guys.
oh, okay, fine, I'll help you, who do you have a crush on, he asked.
Eww, I wasn't gonna tell him that.
Am not gonna tell you that. I said
He sighed, do want to get this guy or not?.
I rolled my eyes FINE!, it's Jason, I mumbled.
Am sorry what?
JASON!!!.
Jason? Asin Jason McCall?. he asked.
yeah, I nod.
He sighed, deeply, and place his palms on his face, like he was disappointed.
What, what??.
There are literally hundreds of guys in chesam, but you choose Jason?, that two faced, wolf in sheep clothing, spotlight stealing minx?.
Wo, wo, wo, enough with the name calling, He's nice, probably the nicest person on planet freaking earth, only the devil wouldn't like Jason, because come-on.
Choose someone else, anyone but him, he urged.
what?, that's not how crushes work, I can't just unlike him, come-on, do you want to help me or not, why are you being weird, what's your deal with him?
okay, have you ever thought, or felt like this particular person isn't who they claim to be. He asked me.
God I was beginning to regret, telling him this, I thought we were Sharing our thoughts.
yes I have. I feel the same way about Mim.
Okay come-on, keep Mim out of this. He defended.
Oh so you can talk bad about Jason but I can't say anything about Mim?.
That's not it, he continued, they are nothing alike.
How would you know? you aren't friends with Jason, so who are you to judge. I flared.
What's with you? why are you being so defensive about him, he doesn't even know who the fuck you are, He said raising his voice.
Well, Mim cheated on you with a college kid, how's that for knowing someone?.
He looked at me, his eyes indicating I had crossed a line, oh for Goodness sake, Don't look at me like that you started this I said.
He kept looking at me and then he just, just walked away, leaving out in the garden on this swing, not saying a thing.
AAARRRRRRRGHGGG!!! I yelled, we were doing so well, we were bonding, but as you know he's Kyle, he just has to mess everything up, he started it not me, I don't care of we never speak again, what's his problem, like what's his problem with Jason, Jason??, he doesn't like Jason?, who doesn't like Jason!!.
Everybody loves him, oh, I know what this is about, he's jealous, That's it he's jealous of Jason, he's literally the Nicee version of him, of course why didn't I think of that, I thought out loud.