PREGNANT!
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! What was she to do?
With shaking hands, Nicole piled all the evidence of the pregnancy test into a plastic bag to dispose of somewhere away from the castle when she felt up to a walk. She couldn't leave it lying around for Rosita to find. The motherly Italian housekeeper was very thorough in her cleaning.
Still in shock, Nicole tottered from her ensuite bathroom, stowed the incriminating packaging in her straw carry-bag, then crawled onto her bed and buried her face in a pillow. It was Sunday morning. She was not expected to work on Sundays. It didn't matter if she was late down for breakfast. In fact, Sunday was a good excuse to miss it altogether. Even the thought of food sickened her, especially first thing in the morning.
Now she knew why.
The punishment for her madness with Matt King.
She couldn't even blame him, knowing she'd been equally responsible. Though irresponsible was the correct word. Wild stupid recklessness, not even thinking of the possibility of getting pregnant. Only when she'd gone to bed—alone—after the premiere party had she wondered and worried, and decided there was a good chance she was safe. It simply wouldn't be fair to end up paying even more than the intense emotional letdown from that one experience.
A baby.
No more hiding her head in the sand, finding excuses for her period to be late—the heat, stress, anything but the truth. The truth had just stared her in the face. She was undeniably pregnant. And somehow she now had to plan a future with a baby...a child...a child of her own.
She vividly recalled Matt King spouting off about the responsibilities of fatherhood, but did she want him to be connected to her and their child for the rest of their lives? A man who'd only wanted sex with her? A man who raised turbulent feelings every time she saw him?
Only a few days ago he had dropped in at the castle, stopping to join his grandmother for afternoon tea. He'd breezed out to the loggia where Nicole had been sitting with her employer, cheerfully announcing, "I just left a box of exotic fruit with Rosita in the kitchen." Then with a dazzling grin aimed at her, he'd added, "I brought some mangosteen especially for you, Nicole. It was your favourite, wasn't it?"
"Yes. Thank you," she'd managed to get out as she'd tried to quell the flush erupting from his reminder of their fruit-tasting.
Luckily he'd chatted to his grandmother for a while, giving her time to adjust to his presence. Not that it helped much. Her mind kept fretting over why he'd come and the mention of the fruit seemed like an indication that he still wanted sex with her. Was he scouting his chances?
She'd kept her eyes downcast. It was disturbing enough, hearing his voice, feeling his energy swirling around her. When he'd asked about her progress on the family history, forcing her to look at him, she'd had to concentrate very hard on giving appropriate replies. He'd been quite charming about it, not critical at all, no dubious comments, yet his half-hour visit had left her completely drained.
Even if he remained simply polite to her, she didn't want to be near him. It was too much of a strain, fighting his sexual attraction. And she certainly didn't want him to feel honour-bound to offer marriage because of becoming an accidental father. That would be totally humiliating, knowing he hadn't considered her in the light of a possible wife for him.
No love.
At least, by having a baby, her life wouldn't be empty of love anymore. That was one positive to comfort her. Though how she would manage as a single mother...she would have to start thinking about it, planning.
Four hours later, Nicole was feeling considerably better. She'd walked down to the marina, got rid of the pregnancy test in a large waste bin, idled away some time watching activity on the boats, wandered around the market stalls set up in Anzac Park, lingering at those offering baby clothes and toys, finally buying a gift for Hannah's baby, telling herself it was far too soon to start acquiring anything for her own. Better to wait until she was settled somewhere.
Not here in Port Douglas.
She couldn't live anywhere near Matt King.
The rest of his family she liked very much. Alex and Gina had taken an apartment in Brisbane for the duration of the show, with Alex commuting to Port Douglas as business demanded. Mrs. King missed having them close, especially the children, but today Tony and Hannah had come to lunch at the castle and their company always cheered her.
Usually Nicole enjoyed being with them, too. They were happy people. But today, as they sat around a table near the fountain in the loggia, their happiness made her feel sad. This is how it should be, she kept thinking, a man and a woman loving each other, getting married, having a baby because they both wanted it. Hannah seemed to glow with good health. Nicole wondered if she had suffered morning sickness earlier on in her pregnancy, but she couldn't ask.
"Matt!"
Tony's cry of surprise sent a shock through her heart. Her head dizzied as her gaze jerked to the man coming out of the castle, brandishing cutlery and serviette.
"Knew you'd be here, Tony, so I thought I'd join you," he announced. "Rosita said you were lunching outside so I've come armed for the feast."
"There's such a nice breeze," Hannah explained. "We didn't want to be inside."
"Good thinking," Matt approved. "I'll just move you up a place, Hannah, so I can sit next to Nonna." He smiled at his grandmother. "I trust I'm welcome?"
She returned his smile. "Always, Matteo."
"Nicole..." He nodded to her as he rearranged the seating, "...how are you?"
"Fine, thank you," she managed to reply, though her stomach was now in knots.
He was seating himself almost directly opposite her, which meant she'd be facing him all through lunch, the man who'd fathered a child with her and didn't know it.
Fortunately, Tony claimed his brother's attention, chatting on about the tourist business which was of vital interest to both of them. They were coming out of the wet season, which meant the influx of visitors to Port Douglas was rapidly increasing, people wanting a vacation in the sun and trips to the Great Barrier Reef and other wonders of the tropical far north.
Rosita wheeled out a traymobile loaded with a variety of salads and a huge coral trout that she'd baked with a herb and pinenut crust. She placed the platter containing the fish in front of Tony to carve into servings and the smell of the herbs wafted down the table, instantly making Nicole feel nauseous. Trying to counter the effect, she sipped her iced juice, desperately breathing in the scent of its tropical fruit.
"Only a very small portion for me please, Tony," she requested when he was about to serve her.
"Don't stint yourself because I'm an unexpected guest," Matt quickly threw in, his gaze targeting her with persuasive intent. "There's more than enough to go around."
"I'm not really hungry," she excused, savagely wishing he wouldn't look directly at her. He was so wickedly handsome, it screwed up her heart, making it hop, skip and jump in a highly erratic fashion.
"But you missed breakfast this morning," Mrs. King remarked, surprised by Nicole's lack of appetite.
She sought wildly for a reasonable explanation. "While I was wandering around the market stalls..."
"You succumbed to the famous prawn sandwich?" Matt supplied, his brilliant dark eyes twinkling teasingly.
She nodded, robbed of speech. He was putting out magnetic sex appeal again, reducing her to a quivering mess inside. Thankfully Hannah rescued her.
"And look what she bought the baby at the markets. Matt!" She leaned down beside her chair, took the cleverly crafted caterpillar from the plastic bag and demonstrated how the multi-coloured segments could be stretched out and when released, they'd bunch together again. "Isn't it gorgeous?"
Hannah was beaming pleasure at her brother-in-law and he beamed pleasure right back at her. "Fantastic! I can see little hands having a fun time with that."
Tears pricked Nicole's eyes at the thought of her own baby's little hands, reaching out for a father who wasn't there, a father who'd never watch him or her having fun.
"Well bought, Nicole," Matt declared with warm approval, turning her to absolute mush.
Why was he doing this? Why was he here?