"Nothing could feel more right than this."
She sighed, wanting to agree with him. But it had only been a month.
Maybe it was so wonderful because it was still new. "Can't we wait awhile, Tony? Make sure it's going to last?" she softly pleaded.
His chest rose and fell under her cheek and she sensed he was gathering himself to argue with her, yet when he spoke it was with a quiet calmness. "Why do you think it might not, Hannah?"
That was so hard to answer. How could she say she didn't trust him?
That wasn't true. She did trust Tony. He had given her no reason not to trust him.
"Are you worried about the constancy of my feelings... or yours?" he asked when her silence had gone on too long.
"There...there hasn't been much time...to test them," she got out, struggling for words that wouldn't hurt.
"Hannah, I'm thirty-two years old. I've been with many women. Attractive women whom I've liked very much, whose company I've enjoyed. Not once in all that time, in all that experience, did I ever feel... this is the woman I want to share my life with. Until I met you. I can tell you unequivocally...that's not going to change for me."
Was it true? Could she believe it?
He gently rolled her onto her back and hitched himself up on his elbow to look down at her. Panic welled up in Hannah at the thought he was going to demand a decision from her. She was actually frightened to meet his gaze, knowing how compelling it could be. Yet his eyes were soft, kind, and a huge wave of grateful relief washed away the panic. He smiled, and her heart swelled with love for him.
"You knocked me out the day we met, Hannah O'Neill. And the very next time I saw you, the message started beating through my brain—this woman is mine. Since then, everything that's happened between us has confirmed that message, over and over again."
He traced her lips with feather-light fingertips, reminding her of the tenderness he'd shown. "Is it asking too much, wanting you to wear my ring? You can always hand it back to me if you decide I'm not the right man for you, Hannah." His smile turned into a tilted appeal. "I can't force you to marry me, you know. That choice is very definitely yours."
Tony... her husband... her partner for life... always loving her...the dream swam before her eyes, tantalisingly reachable...almost convincing...
"Let me put my ring back on your finger, as a promise from me. It doesn't lock you in. It simply says I love you and I want to marry you, and every time you look at it you can think about it."
In a flash he was off the bed, fetching the ring box from his shorts pocket.
Hannah's mind was in a whirl. Was it all right to wear the ring, on the clear understanding she would hand it back if their relationship started feeling wrong, or less than what she felt was needed for a marriage to work? They were expected to have dinner with her family tonight.
Everyone would expect to see it on her finger. If it wasn't...how was she to explain? But if it was there...they would expect more...and more...
Tony bounced back onto the bed, grabbed her left hand and slid the emerald onto her third finger. "Made for you," he declared triumphantly. "Fits perfectly."
It did. "How did you manage that?" she asked, staring down at the ring which was stirring a storm of turmoil. There were consequences if she fell in with Tony's plan. Much as she wanted to please him, make him happy with her, wearing this ring would start a train of events she wasn't ready to face.
"I waited until you fell asleep in my arms, then measured your finger," he answered, his tone rich with the pleasure he had taken in his forethought, pleasure she would take away if she refused to go along with him. "You didn't even stir," he went on. "Very peaceful sleep. Which just goes to show how good I am for you."
"You have been good for me, Tony," she acknowledged, and didn't want it to stop. But what if it did?
"And will be good for you."
His confident claim stirred the turmoil further. He'd chosen an emerald because Flynn had given her a diamond and Tony wanted to give her something different. But the words weren't different. Flynn had said he'd be good for her, too. It was too much to take on board right now. She couldn't do it.
A surge of desperate determination lifted her gaze to his. "If I wear this ring, everyone—my family, your family, all the people we know—will expect me to start planning our wedding." She shuddered from the sheer violence of feeling ripping through her. "I won't do it, Tony."
He frowned, his eyes probing hers with sharp intensity. "Do you mean...you don't want to wear my ring...or you don't want to get involved in planning a wedding?"
"They'll start it. They'll start it tonight. And you'll involve your grandmother tomorrow. They'll all look to me to do things..."
Her chest tightened at the mere thought of it. She could see Tony didn't understand. After all, wasn't it every woman's dream to plan her wedding? Except striving to produce that perfect day turned into an obsession, an obsession fed by the wedding merchants and the bride's family, claiming this had to be done and that had to be done if everything was to be perfect.
The groom was largely left out of it. The bride was very busy.
So busy, the groom had time to look elsewhere, to start wondering if he'd made a mistake and some other woman might fill his needs better.
"I won't do it." She shook her head, feeling the whole destructive pressure of it and needing to break free of it, stay free of it. Her eyes begged understanding as she tried to explain. "It becomes an event that takes on a life of its own and it gobbles up too much. It...it consumes love instead of giving it room to grow strong and unbreakable. I'll get trapped into it because that's a bride's job. Not the groom's. And I won't be available when you want me..."
"You think I'll do what Flynn did."
His eyes accused her of misjudging him on totally unfair grounds. "It's only been a month, Tony," she shot back at him, rebelling against
his certainty. "You buy me a ring while everything's red-hot between us, when there's nothing getting in the way of doing whatever we like together..."
"You think it's going to cool?"
"I don't know. All I know is it has only been a month, and I will not be bull-dozed into planning a wedding that I end up having to cancel. I've been there, done that, and just the thought of it happening again freezes me up."
"What if it's still red-hot after six months, Hannah? Would you marry me then?"
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself enough to consider. Six months. Any cracks in their relationship should be showing by then. If it was still the same, still as wonderful as it had been this past month... "Yes," she decided. "I'd feel more sure of everything being right for us if it lasted six months."
"Okay. On that basis, will you make a bargain with me?" "What bargain?"
"You wear my ring, which you can give back at any time in the next five months if you don't feel right about us. At the end of that five months, if you're still wearing my ring, you will turn up as my bride at a wedding which I will arrange."
"You...arrange?" Sheer astonishment glazed her mind.
"I'll do all the planning, make all the arrangements. I'll buy what has to be bought, hire what has to be hired, book what has to be booked. All you'll need do is to turn up at the church at the specified time in the wedding dress which I'll supply. Five months from now."
She stared at him in amazement. "You'd take on all that...to marry me?" He nodded, his eyes serious, absolute commitment written on his face.
"I would like very much for us to have a wedding to remember, one we can look back on as a wonderful celebration of our marriage."
Tears swam into her eyes. He was making it sound so real. And didn't it prove he loved her, being prepared to arrange a wedding himself? He wasn't even considering there was a risk in putting so much of himself on the line. Was he so sure they were right together?
"I want to give you that, Hannah," he said softly. "But I do need something from you."
Need… he answered so many of her needs. The urge to give was instant and strong. She nodded for him to go on, too choked up to speak.
"Give me your word...there'll be no running away at the last minute." She swallowed hard and fervently replied, "I wouldn't do that to you,
Tony." Never would she deal out such painful humiliation...jilting him at the altar.
"Then...do we have a bargain?"
A shiver ran through her as she recalled Megan's words. When the King family makes a commitment, it's rock-solid, providing you keep your side of the bargain. Her eyes searched his as she asked, "Are you really sure about this, Tony?"
There was not so much as a flicker of uncertainty. "I'm sure," he said with a blaze of conviction that poured warmth into the cold places in her soul.
It felt good. It was fair.
More than fair.
"Then yes. We have a bargain."