We were walking the usual route to Shibuya Station, with me rolling my suitcase beside me.
"A whole week, huh?" Ayase-san asked as she walked next to me.
I nodded.
Technically, it was eight days, from Monday to the next Monday. Well, on the last day we only had to do stuff in the morning, and since it didn't start until this afternoon, we had the luxury to take it easy today as well.
"I see…"
She seemed to want to say more. Come to think of it, my old man also threw in a "Don't push yourself too hard," as we were leaving.
I guess she's worried about me.
"We won't see each other for a while."
"I can bring my phone apparently, so we might not be able to talk during the day, but I'll message you on LINE before going to bed, and right after I wake up in the morning."
"Okay… But, don't stress if you're too busy. I can handle it."
"No worries. Honestly, just hearing your voice kinda makes me feel better, or maybe calms me down, you know?"
Did I just really say that in broad daylight?
"If that's the case, then great. But yeah, I guess I'm just worried you might be overdoing it."
So she is worried.
"I'll be fine. It's only a week, anyway. I'm not about to work myself sick."
"You think so? I get the feeling you tend to work too hard, Asamura-kun…"
Ayase-san walked with her hands clasped behind her back. She was wearing a slightly bigger hat as the sun was strong today. The hat shaded her face and hid her eyes, so it was hard to read her expression.
"You've really been hitting the books hard since spring, haven't you?"
"Uh… have I?"
"You were always pretty good at studying. Your rank wasn't too shabby either."
"I couldn't compete with Maru, though. Or you, for that matter."
I managed to edge out a win in total scores back when Ayase-san was struggling with modern literature, but now, she doesn't seem to have any weak points.
"I still have a lot to improve on…"
I'd never asked her directly about what university she was aiming for, but from what I gathered at last year's open campus visit, she probably wanted to get into somewhere like Tsukinomiya Women's University. If so, she definitely couldn't afford to let her current grades slip.
"I have to work hard too."
It was just an offhand remark, but Ayase-san suddenly turned to look straight at me.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Like I said… why?"
"Huh, uh, what do you mean?"
I reflexively slipped into formal speech, not expecting that kind of question.
"I personally have a university I wanna go to, and I think it'll be hard to get in with my current grades. That's why I'm pushing myself."
I nodded.
"But why do you need to, Asamura-kun?"
"Uh, but—If you're working hard, Ayase-san, then I should be too."
"Isn't that kinda pointless? It seems a bit weird, doesn't it? I'm working hard for my own sake."
What? Why does she look a little pissed off?
"Well, I'm doing it for myself too. Because if I'm not worthy of you, then…"
…I wouldn't be able to stand beside you.
That was just how I saw it.
But hearing that, Ayase-san reflexively looked away. She stared straight ahead, looking like she was lost in thought. Even as we walked side by side, she didn't look at me. That was a first.
One word slipped from her lips.
"...Worthy?"
But she didn't say anything more, leaving me wondering why she'd gone silent.
As Shibuya Station came into view, she finally looked up.
"Alright, I'll go do some shopping and head home."
It hit me that with me being away, she'd have to take over my cooking duties.
"Sorry I won't be able to help with cooking."
"It's fine. There'll be times when I'm away too, or maybe too sick to do anything, so you can make it up to me then."
"That's a given."
I'd planned to do that anyway without being told.
Hearing her say, "There'll be times when I'm away too" felt like she was assuming we'd be family for the long haul, which made me happy.
"Alright, good luck with your studies."
I nodded.
"I'm off."
"Take care."
We parted ways in front of the station, and I took the train from Shibuya to the study camp.
The cram school's summer special program was held at a hotel specially designed for academic training, right by the coast.
***
I took the train line south through the city center, and got off at a station lined with towering hotels built on reclaimed land along the bay.
It looked like there weren't just students from my cram school joining the camp, but a lot from other branches too. Meaning, students had come from all over the country.
I figured I'd left home with time to spare, but it was already past noon.
After checking in and getting my room key, I was aimlessly browsing through a pamphlet filled with various instructions in the lobby when I realized the opening ceremony was about to start. The crowd in front of the elevators was massive. Go figure, since all the students were trying to get there at once. Shoot. I wanted to drop off my heavy luggage in my room first…
With no other choice, I headed to the opening ceremony with my luggage in tow. The venue was a pretty large hall. There were no assigned seats. The hall was already about eighty percent full, but I managed to find a spot to settle down in.
Looking around, I was struck again by the scale of this camp. The attendees were about the same age, with a nearly equal number of boys and girls—probably slightly more boys. Many were still in their school uniforms, giving the whole thing the vibe of a school assembly.
From what I could see, the dominant feeling in the opening ceremony hall was a tense, charged atmosphere. People weren't talking much to each other, and any chance they got, they were either flipping through flashcards or glancing over cram school textbooks.
Soon enough, the opening ceremony began. A person who appeared to be in charge stood at the front, talking about the dos and don'ts during the camp.
As the ceremony ended and I was about to head to my room, I heard a familiar voice.
"Oh, there you are."
Turning towards the voice, I saw a familiar face.
"Ahh, hello Fujinami-san."
It was Kaho Fujinami. Though there was a chance of running into each other since we attended the same cram school, I hadn't really thought about it until now.
Fujinami-san and I headed to the elevator as we chatted, but it was so crowded we both returned to the lobby, still lugging around our bags.
"There were so many people."
"Yeah, there aren't enough elevators. We'll have to be careful moving to the lecture halls. Well, there's still some time before the afternoon classes anyway."
We both plonked down in lobby chairs.
"I didn't expect you to be at this camp, Fujinami-san."
Obviously she planned to go to university, since she was attending cram school, but I realized I'd never asked her what one she was aiming for.
I wasn't a fan of prying into people's lives, but I felt like asking her this time.
"Do you mind if I ask what your preferred uni is, Fujinami-san?"
First, I needed to make sure it was okay to ask.
"No, not at all. I mean, I don't talk about it with just anyone, but my first choice is Waseho."
"Waseho, huh?"
It was one of the top private universities in Japan. It made sense she'd aim high, considering she was attending a study camp.
"The Law School there is my first choice."
I was surprised again by her answer. I knew the Law School focused on law and politics, but I didn't picture Fujinami-san being interested in those fields.
"Why Law School?"
"Because I wanna be a politician."
"Seriously?"
"That was a joke."
It was hard to tell if she was joking or serious when she kept a straight face like that.
"I'm half serious, though. Well, I might not become a politician, but I do want to get involved in law or politics."
"Um..."
"You think it's strange?"
Honestly, the image of politicians and Fujinami-san seemed pretty far apart to me. But that's just surface level. When you get down to it, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
"Nah, I kind of get it… I think."
"I have my reasons for it, you know."
She didn't usually talk about this stuff, but after that she shared why she was aiming for the Law School.
I'd heard it a few times, but Fujinami-san stopped living with her biological parents at a young age. There were a bunch of reasons she couldn't stay at home, and she ended up under the wing of a lady in Shibuya—one who operated on the fringes of legality, a so-called gray area.
"But there are people in this world who can't survive unless they're in places like that. They'd die under the harsh light of day, their eyes scorched and skin charred. It's only by curling up in the darkness of night, hugging their knees, that they can finally catch their breath."
"I can't really say I get it... but I guess I can sort of picture it."
When I first got to know Fujinami-san, she took me for a walk through Shibuya's streets at night. It was a place I'd normally never venture into, filled with drunks stumbling about and women dressed in flashy outfits standing in narrow alleys. I was doing my best just to keep up and not get left behind as Fujinami-san led the way.
It was a completely different side to the city I knew, compared to the bustling main streets crowded with young people during the daytime on weekends. And that's where Fujinami-san grew up.
"They're pretty much on the losing side when it comes to politics. If the law were strictly enforced, they'd have nowhere to go. People say not being able to live cleanly and properly is just laziness. But really, the only places they belong are in the gaps between the law's net. They're barely scraping by, sort of on a mutual understanding[1] with those around them."
[[1] Kaho uses "naa-naa" (なあなあ) here, which is used in Japanese to describe a situation or approach that is handled in a perfunctory, nonchalant, or half-hearted manner. It implies an attitude of mutual understanding among the parties involved to overlook minor details, rules, or problems without causing conflict]
"...So that's why you chose the Law School?"
Fujinami-san nodded.
She wanted a society where people barely hanging on without slipping into the underground, those just managing to stay on "this side," weren't politically excluded—a society where the loose "mutual understanding" kept going.
"But, for better or worse, the world is always changing, right? Nothing lasts forever."
"That's true."
Looking back through human history, from prehistoric to ancient times, from ancient to medieval times, from medieval to modern times, and now to the present day; the reason for those distinctions in history comes down to something changing from one era to the next. Of course, history will continue beyond the present day, and eventually, even our current times will become a part of the past with some new name attached to it.
"I hadn't thought about it on such a grand scale, but that's an interesting perspective, isn't it?"
That earned me a wry smile.
"So, anyway, if the societal currents seem to be moving in a troubling direction for those people, I don't wanna just stand by and do nothing, so I more or less think I want to be in a position to resist. I owe them, after all. That said, becoming a politician is another thing. I don't feel the need for that right now."
"So, what's the actual plan?"
"For now, I guess becoming a lawyer. Going to a good university, and having legal knowledge won't make employment difficult, and graduating from Waseho would make it easier to build connections for the future, so there's also that practical judgment."
It finally clicked, and I nodded.
At the same time, I was impressed by how well-thought-out it all was.
"So, you've heard my deal, now what about you?"
"Huh? Ah, right… yeah."
I hesitated. After hearing Fujinami-san's detailed plans for the future, it was a bit embarrassing to talk about my own.
"I haven't thought about it as concretely. I'm kind of just aiming to go to a better university and then get into a good company."
"You have a specific uni in mind?"
I couldn't exactly say I didn't. The moment Fujinami-san mentioned Waseho, the name of the other major private university instantly popped into my head.
"Keiryou, maybe?"
"Ooh, that's nice."
"Ah, wait a second."
I'd forgotten about the high tuition fees of private universities. My old man would probably try to help pay even if it was difficult, but I'd prefer to avoid that.
"Ichise University, maybe?"
"A national university? That's also good," Fujinami-san nodded along.
Though as a person who'd said it on the spur-of-the-moment, I couldn't help feeling a bit embarrassed receiving praise like that.
But I did think it'd be hard to seriously compete in the entrance exams without a concrete goal.
"Well, I don't really think my grades are good enough to get in."
"So, why Ichise?"
This time I was really at a loss for how to answer. I reluctantly told the truth.
"I just wanna expand my future prospects. I only have half your motivation, Fujinami-san, so it's embarrassing to even mention it."
"Embarrassing?" Fujinami-san murmured quietly.
That murmur gave me a sense of déjà vu. Hadn't I heard someone say something similar not too long ago?
Fujinami-san, having listened to my response, tilted her head a few times before suddenly standing up, saying, "It seems to be clearing up now," before quickly making her way to the elevator without looking back at me.
I hurriedly got up to follow, but by the time I caught up, the doors were closing, and the elevator she was on started moving up just as I got there.
Well, we're in the same camp, so we'll probably meet again.
I went up to my assigned room, set my luggage down, and started preparing for the afternoon classes.
I remembered to check the pamphlet and found out Wi-Fi was available in the hotel, so I shot off a LINE message to Ayase-san to let her know I arrived safely.
She might be worried.
To be fair, it wasn't like I was going abroad or to some countryside mountain, so she probably wasn't that worried.
"Oh right, the elevators get crowded."
It seemed wise to leave early to avoid the rush. Lectures were packed until dinner time at 8 pm.
It meant having a late dinner, but it was similar to when I had shifts at the bookstore, and since they were longer breaks than what we got at school, I could always grab a snack if I got peckish. There was even a café in the hotel lobby.
Now, a truly study-intensive schedule awaited me.
Maybe it was because I'd declared I was aiming for Ichise, but I felt like my once vague goal had become more focussed. Just saying it out loud made a difference. Ayase-san was probably aiming for Tsukinomiya, and if her efforts were anything to go by, she'd likely achieve that goal.
I can't afford to lose.
Ayase-san's words of encouragement as we parted echoed in my ears.
"Alright, good luck with your studies."
I psyched myself up, renewing my determination.
***
8 pm. The final class of the day had ended, and it was time for dinner.
I met up with Fujinami-san again in the cafeteria for dinner and we sat together, but we didn't really talk much and just quietly finished our meals.
By the time I returned to my room and took a bath, it was already time for lights-out.
I checked my phone and saw I'd received a message from Ayase-san, replying to the one I'd sent saying I'd arrived.
Saki:[I'm glad you arrived safely.]
Saki:[What's the place like?]
Yuuta:[First day's over. I think it's a good environment. There's really nothing to do besides studying. I've even managed to grasp some things I didn't get before.]
After typing all that, I realized I was just rambling on about myself. I added another message.
Yuuta:[How was your day, Ayase-san?]
Saki:[Just spent it studying and working.]
So nothing out of the ordinary happened, I guess.
After a short wait, another message came through.
Saki:[Nothing special. Just the usual.]
All's quiet on the western front, it seemed. Ayase-san also didn't have anything noteworthy to report.
The conversation ended with a [Good luck with the camp] from her. Well, it was getting late anyway.
I sent a "good night" stamp and then laid down on the bed.
Although today's lectures started in the afternoon, tomorrow's schedule was packed from the morning. I planned to wake up at 7 am, since I needed to finish breakfast in the cafeteria before the 9 am lectures started. That meant I had to get up by 8 am at the absolute latest.
I need to get some sleep now.
I lay down and closed my eyes.
Just that quick message exchange had recharged my batteries quite a bit—looks like I'll sleep well.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about going all out again tomorrow.