"Ehh, Yomiuri-senpai, are you trying to keep Asamura-senpai all to yourself?"
That's what I heard as I opened the rear door and climbed in next to Kozono-san.
She was making a pouty face and booing.
Monopolizing Asamura-kun... driving alone together... sitting side by side… playing our favorite songs on the car stereo—those kinds of fantasies danced through my mind.
What am I thinking?
Today we were just going for a barbecue as colleagues from work, nothing more and nothing less. And since Yomiuri-san would be graduating—and therefore quitting her student part-time job—this was our last chance to make memories with her.
I shouldn't bring my own fantasies into something like this.
Yet, until Kozono-san brought it up, the idea of all three of us sitting in the back hadn't even occurred to me. It'd be cramped, and it'd be weird to ask Kozono-san to move specially. Surely it was obvious that either Asamura-kun or I should sit in the back?
Where'd the idea that Yomiuri-senpai was trying to monopolize Asamura-kun even come from anyway?
Though, I had to admit, I recoiled a bit when I realized Kozono-san would be the one sitting next to me.
While I was clipping in my seatbelt, a thought suddenly struck me; People can't truly know what others are thinking. When we claim "you're thinking this," we're not actually reading the other's mind, but projecting how we would think in the same situation. It's just, "if it were me, I'd think this", coming out.
So, does that mean Kozono-san wants Asamura-kun all to herself?
Hmm.
Sure, Kozono-san seemed pretty fond of Asamura-kun, but that doesn't mean feeling possessive of him was a good thing. Asamura-kun has his own will, too.
But wait. A second ago I was thinking about driving alone with him too.
Hmmmm.
What a realization. I was possessive. When did I turn into such a petty person?
As I sat there with my mind in shock, Yomiuri-san's soothing words caught my ear.
"Now, now. Don't sweat the small stuff. Even exam-takers need to unwind. Let's forget all the unpleasant things today and just have fun!"
Though I didn't follow the conversation, Yomiuri-san's words reminded me of what Taichi-san had said to me.
"If only he could learn to relax a bit more."
That's right. It wasn't just about creating memories with Yomiuri-san. One of my personal goals for this day camp was to help Asamura-kun unwind, so I wholeheartedly agreed with Yomiuri-san's suggestion to have fun.
But Kozono-san was the first to pump her fist and cheer, "Yeah!" I was too embarrassed to openly do the same, so I murmured a quieter "Yeah" to myself. No one probably heard it.
I sighed internally.
On top of being an Asamura monopolist, I couldn't even honestly express my feelings.
Have I always been like this? I feel like I've become such a troublesome person.
I leaned back against my seat and closed my eyes.
My emotions have been all over the place lately.
If I'd continued with my diary, there'd be too much to write, wouldn't there?
That journal, now discarded so no one would ever see it, began to include Yuuta Asamura's name more and more over the past year, with the entries about him growing day by day. It was obvious just by reading it how my feelings for him had deepened. That diary of my life as a step-sister was one no one could ever lay eyes on.
Now I just record my feelings each day in my heart.
I sighed internally for the second time.
Stop it. I couldn't afford to be gloomy. If I were, how could I possibly help Asamura-kun relieve his exam stress?
I brought my mind back inside the car, and tried to join the conversation. As I strained my ears to catch what the conversation was about, it seemed they were talking about Yomiuri-san. Her full name, Shiori Yomiuri, suggested a deep connection to literature[1], making it the perfect fit for someone working at a bookstore. She was a book lover, kind, beautiful, and occasionally cracked obscure jokes, but was definitely intelligent.
[[1] The kanji for Shiori (栞) means "bookmark" and Yomiuri (読売) means "reading"]
Even now, she was showing off her knowledge about her own name.
"You both know a lot about words, Asamura-kun and Yomiuri-senpai. You both really love books, don't you?
I genuinely thought that.
That said, Yomiuri-san was quitting her job at the bookstore, despite being offered a full-time position after graduation. Maybe she had other aspirations.
The conversation naturally flowed into a comedy routine between Yomiuri-san and Asamura-kun, with me lost among strange terms like "holy maiden" and "demon lady.[2]" I couldn't figure out how to chime in.
[[2] "Saintess/holy maiden" (聖女) and "demon lady/princess" (悪魔令嬢) are popular fantasy architypes]
But Kozono-san jumped right into their banter.
"Don't, Asamura-senpai. You shouldn't tease Yomiuri-senpai."
Asamura-kun protested in feigned indignation while Yomiuri-san laughed, encouraging Kozono-san to keep telling him off.
"Saki-chan, feel free to lay into this good-for-nothing lout more, too," Yomiuri-san suddenly tossed the proverbial ball my way.
Suddenly thrust into the conversation, I didn't know how to respond.
"Uh, ah... yes," I finally mumbled.
I'm not crash hot at this kind of witty banter. I'm not used to engaging with or being engaged by others.
I might be the good-for-nothing one here.
"Alrighty, we're getting on the freeway now," Yomiuri-san announced.
Trapped in this confined space for the next three hours, I wondered if I could keep up with their conversation.
Feeling fed up with my poor conversational skills, I'd been keeping quiet, when I finally noticed something during our first pitstop: Kozono-san was avoiding talking to me.
It's not like she never made eye contact; she did glance over at me occasionally, as if something was bothering her, but she never once initiated a conversation.
I was wondering if she hated me, when I realized something. I rarely looked at her or started a conversation myself either.
Yeah, for whatever reason, I felt a bit uneasy around Erina Kozono.
Maybe it was all a reflection of my own behavior. Maybe she was only keeping her distance because I'd been doing the same.
***
After setting up the tarp, I sought refuge under its shade.
I was finally able to take a breather, freed from the glaring sunlight.
Sitting down on my folding chair to take a load off, I could hear the faint babbling of the river. The wind, filtering through the forest, carried the moist scent of greenery along with the chirping of birds.
After a brief rest, we began preparing for the main event of our outing—the barbecue. Asamura-kun took charge of starting the fire under the grill, while the rest of us handled the ingredient preparation.
Mind you, when I say "preparation," I really just mean cutting.
We couldn't cook elaborate dishes since we were outdoors. We could only do what was possible with a cutting board and a knife on a rented folding table. That said, all we had to do for a barbecue was to make sure all the meat and vegetables were uniform in size and thickness so they'd cook evenly.
With that in mind, I started cutting the vegetables. I'd brought some from home to eat raw, my thinking being that if we were going to eat a lot of meat, we should balance it with plenty of veggies. Peppers, cucumbers, and carrots, all washed and ready, were cut into thin sticks and put in a plastic cup.
It didn't take long to finish all the cutting, leaving me with nothing to do. Glancing over at Kozono-san, who was cutting meat, I noticed her handling the knife with a rather dangerous technique.
She gripped the meat with her left hand and forcefully pressed the knife down with her right, sliding off the fatty surface.
Wait, wait.
"Don't run away from me, you!"
Scary, scary, scary. She might cut her finger!
"Kozono-san, your hand, your left hand! You learned that in home ec, didn't you?"
She stopped cutting for a second and looked up at me.
"A cat's paw, right? C'mon Ayase-senpai, even I know at least that much. I'm not some clumsy heroine in a manga who can't cook."
She said it as if emphasizing that this was the real world, reassuring me she had at least the basic cooking knowledge. Though, I had to ask.
"Then why are you gripping the meat like that?"
"It's so lively it tries to escape."
"It won't run away. That meat is already dead."
"Huh? Isn't that obvious? There's no way I could butcher a live cow. But since it's fresh, it's super lively."
I didn't expect the expression "lively" to be used to describe meat slipping away as if it was trying to escape.
"And besides, isn't it hard to cut such thick pieces of meat?"
The meat Yomiuri-senpai bought was definitely thick and chunky. But I also thought Kozono-san's smaller hands played a part in it.
I mean, it's possible the meat was sliding around on the cutting board because of its fat.
While watching her struggling away with my head tilted, I noticed something. The legs of the rented folding table were too high for Kozono-san. Or more like, Kozono-san was considerably shorter than other people, so it made it difficult for her to apply proper force with the knife.
"What's up?"
After finishing giving Asamura-kun instructions and setting up the plates and cutlery, Yomiuri-senpai came over to check on Kozono-san's progress.
"I've used a knife before, but... it's just kinda difficult at the moment."
"Ah, it might be a bit too much for you, Erina-chan. If you're struggling to do it, I can take over."
"But… I wanna do something too," Kozono-san said, looking frustrated.
I could see a simple workaround to the problem. This was within my area of expertise, after all. So, I found myself saying things I normally wouldn't.
"Um… can you let me have a go for a second?" I asked, taking the knife from Kozono-san.
"First, removing the fat that sticks to the knife frequently helps keep it sharp, especially when cutting meat or fish. If water is scarce, like when you're outdoors, just wiping it with a paper towel is fine. Also, if your hands are slippery from holding it directly, do this—"
I demonstrated using a paper towel to grip the meat. I didn't do this at home because it was too much trouble and I never dealt with such big pieces of meat.
"Start by making a small incision. You don't need to apply much force for this, okay?"
Kozono-san nodded with a "yep, yep."
She really is a nice, obedient girl when it comes to stuff like this.
"Then place the knife back in the cut and either pull or push it, letting the weight of the knife do the work. They say to cut by pulling it, but for amateurs, whatever works is fine. Please do what feels easier for you."
"You're skilled yet so laid-back about it, Ayase-senpai."
A wry smile spread across my face in reaction to her frank comment.
"Well, my methods are all self-taught. They're not textbook, so you might wanna learn the proper techniques or read a specific book on the topic."
"But you're good at it!"
"Thanks."
I'd been cooking since I was a kid. Mom did work at a place that served food, but she isn't the greatest teacher. More like, she's not good with words.
Whenever I asked about cooking know-how as a kid, she'd just say, "Just quickly chop it, toss it in the pan, and stir-fry it real quick~"
"See, it's cut now."
"Wow, you made that look so effortless! It sliced so smoothly without you even using much pressure. Ayase-senpai, you're really good at handling lively things!"
That phrasing!
"You've got some skills. Saki-chan, I wanna wife you."
Uhm… that's a compliment, isn't it?
"Anyway, that's pretty much the gist of it."
"Yes. I understand! I'll take it from here!" Kozono-san replied energetically.
"Alright, then I'll keep an eye on you and make sure you aren't doing anything dangerous. If it comes to that, I'll take over."
"Yes. I'll do my best!"
"I'll be cleaning up the vegetables."
After handing back the knife, I returned to my own tasks. Concerned, I kept glancing at Kozono-san out of the corner of my eye. She seemed to get the hang of it, diligently chopping the meat as I'd shown her. There were a few sketchy moments, but it was obvious she was trying her best.
"I did it!"
"Yes, yes. Good girl, good girl. Now, let's do the next piece."
Kozono-san's eyes narrowed in pleasure as Yomiuri-senpai patted her head.
Ahh, that must be nice…
I found myself shocked that I'd thought that.
Just when I couldn't bear to watch Yomiuri-san and Kozono-san's exchange any longer, Asamura-kun said something to me.
He was always like this. Maybe he wasn't aware of it, but he always spoke to me when I was about to lose myself amongst gloomy thoughts.
I brought the veggies over and stood next to him.
I'd learned to cook out of necessity. Everything was self-taught, so I wasn't even sure if it was the correct way to do things.
Nevertheless, I'd probably cooked more than others my age, naturally acquiring cooking skills as a result. But at the end of the day, I was still just a novice, and my skills were nowhere near a professional chef's.
"No, no. I think it's more than enough to deserve a head pat."
Asamura-kun complimented my cooking skills, which made me happy.
But Kozono-san was receiving praise just for trying. It made me feel jealous—which left me feeling disheartened in turn.
And then the self-loathing set in over my twisting thinking.
Even though Asamura-kun had been so kind to me, I ended up having such twisted feelings.
Enough. Switch gears. I need to be more composed.
After we finished eating, it was time for Yomiuri-senpai's eagerly awaited sauna session.
Alright, I'll reset my mood in the sauna. I'll cast away all my bad thoughts.
***
...That was the plan, anyway.
"I-I think I've reached my limit."
Watching Asamura-kun leave the sauna, I found myself grappling with those pesky thoughts again.
All he'd said about my swimsuit was, "Well, it's not bad, right?"
I mean, he'd been with me when I picked it out, and did say it looked good on me at the time. But still, I wanted him to say it again when it was time to show it off.
Stop, stop. These are definitely bad thoughts.
But I did get a good look at his face when he left the cabin. Oh, Asamura-kun, you're blushing right now. I guess it's hard to know where to look, huh? Kinda cute.
"Saki-chan, you seem happy."
What? I forcibly tore my gaze away from his back and met Yomiuri-san's eyes.
"Does it look that way to you?"
"Mhm. Does indeed."
"Me too! I'm having fun too!" Kozono-san piped in.
Yomiuri-senpai had said I seemed "happy," not "having fun," but Kozono-san apparently didn't notice the difference in nuance.
"Erina-chan, you always seem to be having fun, dontcha?"
"Yes! Oh, that's right," she exclaimed, then looked up at Yomiuri-senpai with a slightly upturned gaze.
"By the way, Yomiuri-senpai, doesn't your boyfriend get jealous when you hang out with Asamura-senpai like this?"
"Whoa, Erina-chan, cutting right to the chase. Girl talk time, huh? You like talking about love?"
"I do!"
"Ahaha. Honest, aren't we? But too bad. I don't have a boyfriend to begin with."
"Whaaat!? But you're so beautiful, kind, and funny! How is that even possible!?"
"It's possible alright. Here I am, living proof."
"Unbelievable."
"Well, here's the thing about the men of the world; they love it when a girl is beautiful and kind, but they don't look for funny in a girlfriend."
"Oh really?"
"Think about it. Have you ever heard a guy bragging, 'My girlfriend is so funny'?"
Kozono-san put her pointer finger on her chin and looked up at the roof of the sauna.
"Hmm."
"And by bragging, I mean really bragging about it. Have you ever seen a guy puff out his chest and proudly say, 'My girlfriend's dirty jokes are the best!'? Have you?"
"…I haven't!"
"See?"
"I wonder why. If I were a boyfriend, I'd totally brag about that."
"I wonder why too. Anyway, that's precisely why I don't have a boyfriend."
"That's such a waste."
"Thanks."
With a gentle smile, Yomiuri-senpai patted Kozono-san on the head again, maybe because she was just at the right height.
And though it seemed to go over Kozono-san's head again, Yomiuri-san didn't say, "That's why I don't have a boyfriend," she said, "that's precisely why I don't have a boyfriend." What she meant was, "That's why there's no one who can become my boyfriend."
Yomiuri-san's condition for someone to be her boyfriend is that they need to like her for who she is. And since no one has met that criterion yet, she didn't have one.
Honestly though, Yomiuri-senpai[3] inisting a guy like her for her humor was a pretty rare thing…
[[3] It's unclear why she keeps switching between -san and -senpai]
…But maybe Asamura-kun would say something like that.
I shook my head to clear that sudden thought.
Stop that. That's also a twisted thing to think.
"Ah, okay then, what about you, Ayase-senpai? You have one, don't you?"
"Huh?"
What is she talking about?
"You know, a lover. A boyfriend."
I'd caught a stray.
Kozono-san, who loved talking about love, looked at me with curiosity, her small eyes twinkling like stars. Her gaze was dazzling. What do I even say? It's not like I could just be honest…
"Um, why are you asking me that?"
"...Huh? Ah. Wha—?"
I might have replied a bit coldly. How childish of me.
"There's no deep meaning behind it, but... Ayase-senpai, you're beautiful and seem popular… so, I figured there's no way you wouldn't have one."
"Um... well, that's nice of you to say, but..."
"Saki-chan might come off as a bit hard to approach, yeah. Her usual outfits have a pretty high attack power too."
"Clothes have an attack power?"
"Yup. Saki-chan's outfits have like, an attack power of 2.56 million."
"2.56 million?"
Kozono-san tilted her head in confusion, and I did the same. While I could understand the idea of fashion being an armament—as it was something I personally always thought—where was she pulling that specific number from?
"It's 'cause it's a nice round number."
How is that oddly specific number considered "round"?
Yomiuri's joke flew way over both our heads. We honestly just didn't get it.
But thanks to Yomiuri-san's misdirection, the slightly awkward mood from earlier had vanished. We managed to avoid getting too serious. Honestly, I was grateful.
At the same time, I felt like something was wrong.
I'm becoming a worse version of myself. It's been a while since I felt this disturbed by my own thoughts.
I glanced at Kozono-san. It was because she was here. Why did we mesh so badly? It felt like her presence was leading my thoughts into darkness.
I just want to spend time with Asamura-kun right now…
But then Yomiuri-senpai started some strange endurance contest, so I couldn't just go after him right away. After all, if I said "I'll pass", and left the room, it'd definitely leave an awkward mood behind.
I toughed it out for a little while before leaving ahead of the other two.
I glanced around after coming out of the sauna. Where could Asamura-kun be?
I walked towards the riverbank and found him in the water just past some reclining chairs, sitting up to his waist in the current. I put my towel down on a big rock next to his before stepping in myself.
I dipped my toes in first. The flowing water was cold even for summer, but provided the perfect counterbalance to my hot post-sauna body, making me want to dive right in. I slowly poured water onto my body to acclimatize myself before moving closer to Asamura-kun.
I let out a long sigh as I sank down beside him.
"Phew... it was so hot."
"Good effort," Asamura-kun replied, and I returned it with, "Yeah. I'm tired now." I told him how Yomiuri-senpai's challenge stopped me from coming out sooner. He teased me for being one of the first to leave, apparently thinking of me as fairly stubborn—true, but still.
"I don't wanna waste the time we can spend together on some endurance contest."
Words like that slip out so easily when I'm with him. Why is it that I can't speak my mind like this all the time?
I could hear Yomiuri-san and Kozono-san's excited voices behind us.
"I think I'd like to cool down too," I heard Kozono-san say and walk in our direction.
"It looks so comfortable. I wanna join too—"
Just as she entered into the water in front of Asamura-kun—tentatively stepping on a slick, flat stone—she started to wobble…
"Whoa!"
Kozono-san slipped and almost fell. I was about to cry out in alarm, but Asamura-kun bounced to his feet and caught her before she could fall. Only her towel suffered that fate—flying into the air and landing on the water's surface, before starting to sink as it was carried away by the current. I quickly snatched it from the water and wrung it out.
"Th-that scared me!"
"You okay?" Asamura-kun said gently to Kozono-san, whose face was tense.
Yomiuri-senpai rushed over in a panic.
"Hey! You alright!?"
"I'm fine."
"Here you go, Kozono-san."
I handed back the towel I'd retrieved from the river.
I shuddered at the thought of a water-related accident happening in a place without lifeguards keeping a constant eye out, like at a public pool. I was glad our fun outing hadn't been ruined by one. I didn't like seeing anyone getting hurt, regardless of who they might be. That said…
The truth is, I felt a bit… annoyed when I saw Asamura-kun catching—not hugging—Kozono-san as she almost fell.
If Kozono-san's startled "Whoa!" had been more of a "Kyaa~," I might've suspected she did it on purpose. It just wouldn't seem real. You don't even see girls doing the whole fake-trip-into-their-boyfriend's-arms thing much anymore. I hated the fact I even thought that up.
Argh, I shouldn't think like that!
Driven by self-loathing, I dove into the river as if trying to escape from the situation, hoping the chilly water would cool my heated brain.
I dove as deep as I could, then snapped open my eyes—something you could only do in a freshwater river with no salt.
Wow…
The flowing water was crystal clear, and I could see colorful pebbles and large rocks along the riverbed. A small fish darted right in front of me. I reached out my hand, but it shot up and escaped through the gaps in my fingers.
I flipped over and lay on my back, looking up at the surface.
Wow, it's bright.
The river was shallow, only deep enough to reach my face when standing up. I reached my hand out towards the mirror-like surface about one meter above me. The shimmering surface filled my entire field of vision, light dancing in rippling patterns.
Beautiful…
As I alternated between diving to see that view and surfacing for air, my head gradually cooled off.
When I surfaced for the umpteenth time, I noticed Asamura-kun looking at me.
He tried his best to explain himself about catching Kozono-san.
"I know that without you saying it."
Yeah, I knew that already.
Honestly, I'm more frustrated with how much of a mess I am.
I hadn't expected my emotions to be so all over the place even after we'd confessed our feelings and were officially together—more than before we even started dating. I always thought of myself as someone with a cold heart, unmoved by anything.
I got annoyed or felt relieved at every little thing he did. My emotions swung this way and that, and my mind constantly drifted in unpleasant directions. I have to do something about it…
"Because the one I love is you, Ayase-san."
The turmoil in my heart stemmed from not fully believing those words.
In essence, I lacked confidence in being loved.
***
By evening, when we started packing up, I'd managed to calm down a fair bit.
Or it might be more accurate to say I'd simply grown tired of overthinking things.
With my head cooled off, I realized how self-centered I'd been, and my sense of reason sluggishly started to shake itself awake.
I regretted my immaturity and took the lead in folding the tarp and cleaning up the camp site.
Kozono-san was my junior, after all. I was two years older, and she only entered high school this spring. Half a year ago, she was still in junior high school. She's basically still a child, isn't she? It's one thing to be jealous of her, but to treat her unfairly is not who I want to be as Saki Ayase.
After finishing the cleanup, I did one final check to make sure nothing was left behind.
"Camping's not over until you're home. Let's get pumped for the ride back!"
"You don't need to get pumped, but you're right. Let's be careful on our way back," Asamura-kun responded seriously, eliciting a pout from Yomiuri-senpai.
Kozono-san laughed at that.
As we started walking towards Yomiuri-san's car, I stopped on my own and looked back.
Dusk was approaching. The sun was setting beyond the western mountains. The sun, now close to the ridge, was coloring the clouds floating at the mountain's edge with the hues of sunset.
I stared at the spot where our tarp had been. Wind off the mountain quietly blew through the now empty rectangular piece of land. The treetops swayed, making the whispery sound of leaves brushing against each other.
As I stared out, it was almost like I could hear the echoes of our laughter. It was as if the day's adventures were playing back like a mirage. The tarp we put up while dripping in our sweat, the BBQ we managed to enjoy despite sometimes choking on smoke, the sauna, splashing around in the river as a substitute for a cold bath, and me gazing up at the light dancing on the water's surface. It'd been like looking through a kaleidoscope, light and darkness shifting with the current.
It was fun.
Despite some frustrations, it was a day filled with joy.
I hope Asamura-kun feels the same.
"Ayase-senpai?"
Turning around, I saw that the others had walked quite far ahead, and Kozono-san had come back to check on me, looking worried.
"Did you forget something?"
"Ah, yeah."
"Oh, did you find it? Want me to help you look for it too?" Kozono-san asked with a worried look.
She's a kind girl.
"It's okay. I found it," I said, smiling at her.
The connections we make with people are often a once in a lifetime thing. It occurred to me that perhaps this group of four might never go somewhere like this again in our entire lives.
With that in mind, the moment felt all the more precious.
As Kozono-san and I walked to catch up with the others, I mustered up the courage to speak up.
"About the barbecue…"
"Huh? Yes?
"You said it was your first time cutting meat that big, didn't you?"
"Ah, yes. It was. It was huuuge, wasn't it~? Yomiuri-senpai said she knows a store that sells those big cuts of meat for cheap."
"Oh really?"
"The meat ended up weirdly shaped, didn't it?"
I shook my head.
"You cut it nicely. The thickness was even, and you did a great job."
Kozono-san looked surprised for some reason. Did I say something strange?
"Ah, yes... Thank you."
We caught up with the other two near the car, and Yomiuri-senpai chided us for being slow.
The ride home was a blur as I succumbed to sleepiness, and when I woke, the scenery had changed to the urban landscape of the city. Apparently I'd been pretty exhausted. Makes sense since I was tense all day.
We went our separate ways near Shibuya station, basically the reverse of when we met up in the morning.
Asamura-kun and I, being locals, said our goodbyes to Yomiuri-san and Kozono-san and headed off together. Well, not only were we heading to the same area, but the same house.
As we strolled home, rolling along our now much lighter luggage, we chatted about the day. As far as I could tell from our conversation, Asamura-kun seemed to have enjoyed himself too.
"Being exam students, guess this could be our last event this summer, huh?" Asamura-kun said solemnly.
That reminded me of the fireworks festival Maaya had invited me to. Hadn't I wanted to go, just the two of us?
"But… don't you wanna go to something with just the two of us?"
Truthfully, it was a way of hinting at going out together one more time this summer.
"Yeah. After we graduate, let's get our driver's licenses and go somewhere together."
I was a little disappointed. To be fair, I had daydreamed of going on a drive together too. I also planned to get a license once I was in university. People say it's expensive, but I figured it'd be useful to have one no matter what job I ended up doing.
But I was hoping for something a little sooner—
"Doesn't seem like there will be many more chances this year, with my study camp coming up and all."
"Oh, yeah."
That's right, Asamura-kun was heading off on a week-long study camp this coming Monday.
"I feel refreshed after that, so I think I can really put my head down and study now."
Suggesting more fun activities felt awkward after hearing him say that. Seeing Asamura-kun so focused and serious, I just couldn't find the words.
What should I do?
I feel like I'm the only one constantly pausing, looking to the side instead of moving forward.