"How are you going to eat me?" I ask again. The purple-haired fairy, who seems to be the leader of the bunch, calls for a huddle where she and the other fairies discuss how I will be prepared.
"You will be prepared in a stew."
"That's a weird choice, but okay. Is there even any water in that cauldron? How are you going to cook me if there's no fire?" I can see panic and confusion on the fairies' faces. Now that I've managed to gain control of the situation, it's time to stir the pot.
"Okay, you. Over there." A handful of fairies are floating around my left side looking particularly befuddled. They all glance around in confusion when I call out to them. "Yes, you. Go and get water to fill the cauldron."
They stare at me, dazed.
"We need water to cook me. Go!" They start moving about at my order. Some bump into each other while flying about in different directions. I turn to my right slightly, "You bunch, start the fire."
They immediately start moving towards the cauldron, not wanting to get yelled at like the previous group.
"All of you that are left, we need ingredients to go with this human stew. Humans don't taste very good, so we're going to need a lot of delicious stuff to cover up the taste."
"I'm in charge, not you!" The purple fairy yells at me. The other fairies glance back and forth between their leader and me.
"Then tell them which ingredients to get to make a delicious stew." I can see her swallow her saliva when I say, "delicious stew." It looks like she's caught up in the flow I've started.
"You heard the human; go get delicious stuff!" The fairies scatter like a firecracker at her order. Now it's just the leader and me. I'd like some time alone, so I stare at her with a gentle smile until she gets uncomfortable and leaves to help the others.
I sigh and move over to a tree to lean against while watching the festivities. The vines are mostly for show at this point, but I try to keep them from falling off my body to maintain the illusion of imprisonment. I could probably run away, but I want to see how things turn out. My damned curiosity gets me again.
"Nick, are you okay?" A very sad looking Woohee flies up to check on me.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, reassuring her.
"But Oog said he's going to eat you."
"They're not going to eat me; do fairies even eat meat?"
"No."
"See, everything's gonna be fine. Wait, which one is Oog?"
"The purple-haired fairy you were talking to earlier. He's in line to be the next head of the village." I squint to try and get a better look at him. He has long flowing hair and a slim figure.
"Oog is a man?"
"Of course." Woohee replies as if it's obvious."
[I guess I'll have to ask before assuming anyone's gender around here. The last thing I want to do is offend them over something like that. On the flip side, the fairies are all busy collecting ingredients and have completely stopped paying me any mind. I would say that I'd ruin all the delicious ingredients if I'm cooked together with them but knowing that they don't eat meat will make the conversation much easier.]
Woohee still looks depressed despite my coercion.
"By the way, I made you something." I pull out the tiny set of clothing and show them to her. Her eyes sparkle and moisten as I push the outfit her way.
"For me?"
"Yeah, it's no big deal. I just wanted to say thank you." I get a little uncomfortable at her over-the-top reaction, so I downplay the gift. She disappears with the outfit in hand and reappears almost instantly with it on. It's a little baggy but looks better than the leaf she was wearing before. I can see her pants are sagging to one side; It looks like she's never worked a belt before. The sleeves were cut a little short, and her midriff is exposed, but it fits. I made sure to go with a green glove to match the leaf she had on before. It goes well with her golden blond hair and green eyes.
"How do I look?" she asks with an ecstatic smile.
"You look great; let's just tie that belt." I carefully tighten the belt at her waist with a bow. "It's not too tight, is it?"
She has surprisingly well developed hips considering she's about eight inches tall so the belt should work even if left a little loose. As a man with no ass, I've known the tribulations of belt usage. It's either so tight that my legs go numb or loose enough that my pants always fall down.
"Nope."
"Perfect, welp, you're all good to go." Woohee smiles and hugs herself. I feel butterflies in my stomach as I watch her fly happily in circles. Now that I've given her the gift, I look at the fairies working the cauldron. They're just throwing all the food into the cauldron without any thought for taste.
"Hey, hey, hey!" I slough the vines off my body and jog up to the cauldron. "What are you doing?"
"We're making a stew," one responds sheepishly. The fairies are too concerned with making their meal to think about the fact that I've broken free.
"What kind of stew?"
"Human stew?" replies another.
"That would taste terrible. Are you telling me you're willing to waste all these delicious ingredients on a gross human?" All the fairies look at the cornucopia of food laid out before us and collectively swallow their saliva. "That's what I thought. Now, what kind of stew do you want to make?"
"Starch stew?" one calls out.
"Flowerbeet stew!" says another.
"Bean stew," A third cries. Before I know it, the fairies have devolved into yelling out different stew types. I can feel my eardrums splitting at the high pitch cacophony.
"We'll be having verdant bean stew." A loud and slightly lower pitch voice pierces through the flutter of fairies. I turn and see a red-haired fairy standing on a branch directly above where I was sitting. She appears to be a head taller than the others. Her bright red locks are tied up in a ball behind her head which matches the crimson color of her eyes. On top of that, she's wearing maroon armor with silver metal that accentuates her figure. The outfit is surprisingly aesthetic, considering it's supposed to protect her. Based on her appearance and tone, it's clear that she is the leader of the fairies. This idea is reinforced when all the fairies start working together to make the stew at her orders. Any lingering thoughts about my presence evaporate from the minds of the fairies frantically flying about.
I notice that many of the ingredients are going untouched during the preparation, so I walk over to the pile forming on the ground. For the most part, the mountain of food consists of things I've never seen before. There are plants of all shapes and sizes laid out in a technicolor display. I figure I'll make some kind of salad to compliment the stew. Given the abundance of nuts to go with the fruit, something like an apple walnut salad should suffice.
"Woohee!"
"Yes!" Woohee comes over while replying in a sing-songy voice. She's clearly still enamored with her new clothes.
"I'm looking for a sour fruit; can you point to one?"
"Um, how about this one?" She gestures to a furry purple fruit about the size of a kiwi.
"How do you eat it?"
"You just peel it?" I peel open the fruit, exposing the dark, orange flesh.
This forest is tripping me out. I don't know if I can handle much more of this.
I split open the flesh of the dense fruit and have a taste.
[It tastes like a sweeter apple. Maybe like an apple and a grape? It's sour enough to fill its role, but I'll need something a bit salty to make up for the sweetness.]
"Woohee, are there any salty flavored nuts?"
"Yes, here and here." She points to two separate nuts, and I try both. The first is fairly bland, but the second is a little saltier. I take the nuts and fruits and place them next to some leaves that I know are a good substitute for lettuce.
"Do you have, like, a large bowl or something?"
"Over here!" She flies over to the other side of the food pile and points to a clay bowl. I grab the bowl that's bigger than her and return to the ingredients for the salad so I can place them into the bowl.
"Hmm, is there some kind of knife I can use to chop this up?"
"Here."
"Aah!" I yell and jump back in surprise as the red haired fairy leader speaks almost directly into my ear. She moved beside me at some point without me noticing.
[She's strong.]
Power seems to radiate out of her. I step back and observe her movements.
"Nature can be used as our knife," she tells me in a calm, irresistible tone as she moves her hand over the salad. Blue-green light courses from her hand and forms an intricate design in the air. The lines used to construct the magic circle are perfectly straight, as if it was machined from metal.
"Fury blades." At her command, the air begins to churn violently. It feels like all the air in the immediate vicinity is moving toward her. I brace myself against the collapsing storm and watch as the salad is sliced into tiny pieces with invisible knives.
"Woah."