"Now you must have one more reason to divorce me."
As I recalled the past I wanted to forget, voices that were weary spontaneously poured out.
Looking at her murmuring as if she had resigned, Fernando gently wrinkled her lavish forehead.
Julia continued speaking without giving in.
"My origin will be a valid reason for divorce. Jeon has the right to demand huge compensation from my family."
A deep emptiness fell on her face.
At least he didn't want to find out that he was an illegitimate child. Because I was afraid that he would reject me any more.
But now, that doesn't make any sense. No, it might be a good thing.
A woman who took the position of Grand Duchess while hiding that she was an illegitimate child. That noble man couldn't accept himself like that.
He was a man who never wanted me as his wife from the beginning, so it was natural.
"So, even if you decide to divorce again, I will accept it without words."
Seeing Julia constantly talking about divorce, Fernan's face was colored with twisted emotions.
Julia lowered her gaze without seeing him like that.
Then, when he glanced up again in a strange way, who didn't say anything, I had to shake my shoulders without realizing it.
His eyes were a little different from usual. He had always looked calm and cold, but now it seemed that something was boiling inside him.
"If I get a divorce."
"… … ."
"Where can you go?"
Contrary to the intense gaze, Yulia could not easily answer the question that calmed down.
Where I'm going, how I'm going to live, I haven't decided yet.
"that… ."
As Julia stopped talking, Fernan took a step closer to her.
"If I find out that I am an illegitimate child and return to my family, is there any guarantee that I will be better than I am now?"
Fernan, who was asking the question, abruptly stretched out his hand. His hand touched Julia's cheek.
Surprised by the sudden contact, Julia frowned.
In the meantime, the hand that was brushing gently caressed the messy light brown hair.
His hands were weak. However, the voice that flowed out gradually carried a burning passion.
"Even if it's the same hell, you might think that my side is better."
At those words, Julia's gaze began to waver aimlessly.
Hell... . As she chewed on his words, her hand, which had been hovering over her hair, came down to her delicate jaw line.
"You can't do such a thing as a divorce."
Looking at her trembling lips, Fernando put strength in the hand that covered her chin for a moment.
"So stay here, you dare to pay the price for deceiving me."
With her chin raised slightly, Yulia stared at him without moving. The sound of his pulse pounding from the nape of his neck seemed to echo in his ears.
His eyes fluttered like fire, and there was a strange feeling that she could not fathom.
Julia bit her lip and swung her chin held by him.
Even if it's hell, stay calm here.
Dare to pay for cheating on him... .
Yulia, who was repeating his words, muttered in a faint but clear voice.
"how… Why are you doing this?"
Now I feel like moving forward little by little, but this man blocks my way so easily.
Julia gave her soft voice a little more strength.
"You said I was annoying and you didn't like it."
Even though he barely finished the words clearly, Fernan didn't answer.
I just stare at her for a while.
After a while, Fernando touched her cheek again with a hand that had been in the air for a while.
"Didn't you say that you like me?"
Those words made her heart, who was barely holding on, thump down.
"Then don't ask me why, and stay calm by my side."
A low voice continued to pierce my ears from the distance getting closer.
"If all you want is love, there is nothing you can't give up."
Long fingers gently stroked her lower lip. Yulia, who trembled at her hot touch, held her breath without realizing it.
When he lifted his disorganized gaze, his eyes were mixed with a weak passion he had never seen before.
It was a kind of heat that hardly suited this situation.
Then he bowed his head deeply. And leaving her only one word away from her, he stared at her.
Yulia, who came to her senses late, hesitated and tried to turn her face, but the hand that grabbed her cheek forced her face to be fixed to him.
So our eyes met again.
"Let this go… ."
At Yulia, who was trying to push him away with a faint voice, he lowered his lips.
The back words were swallowed by the lips that met each other.
Yulia felt an unfamiliar touch on her lips without understanding the situation.
The body just stiffened.
'This is what... .'
The firm tongue gripped her lips without even having a chance to push it away.
Yulia, who was trembling, tried to turn her head belatedly, but was immediately stopped by a firm hand holding her chin.
Due to the constant burning sensation in her mouth, Yulia froze without even closing her eyes.
With the sound of saliva dripping, the breathing gradually deepened. Julia's neck began to tremble.
Her lips parted slightly, as if to give her a chance to breathe. Only then did she catch her breath.
However, after a while, the lips that immediately hit each other stopped breathing again.
He pressed his chest against his chest, but his firm body did not move.
In an instant, the strength in my legs was released. Her arms wrapped around her waist firmly supported her trembling body.
Fernan's face, which had a different temperature than usual, could be seen through his blurred vision.
Julia flinched and grabbed his collar tightly. Meanwhile, his body suddenly lifted upwards.
His lips did not fall even as he reflexively touched his shoulder.
Suddenly, my back touched a soft spot. Without checking, I could tell it was on the bed.
The kiss, which had continued for a while, finally stopped.
Still from a close distance, I could feel the warm breath. The ribbon tied behind his back was untied at once by his hand.
The cold air hit the exposed shoulders.
Yulia took a heavy breath and pushed his shoulder away only when the dress was half draped over.
"… That's it, stop it."
This man who refused even the first night is now showing an incomprehensible heat.
I didn't know how to interpret this sudden act.
The love he gives is... Would it be enough to just mix the body like this?
Julia gently lowered her hand that had been pushing his shoulder, and covered her mouth with her wrist.
At least for this moment, there was only one thing I could be sure of.
My heart and opinions are of no value to him. He never had the heart to respect me.
Julia bit her lip, holding back the tears that were about to leak out.
Even so, the water that came out little by little began to wet the corners of his eyes.
"… … ."
Fernan looked down at Julia like that. Like someone who woke up late.
He didn't say anything for a while, then lowered his hand and caressed her eyelids.
There was no way that was possible, but his touch continued as softly as if he were touching something precious.
The hand that had been wiping away all the tears that never stopped fell off. At the same time, her shadow around her slowly lifted.
A quivering blanket rested on her body. Fernando got up from the bed without saying a word, turned his back and ran across her room.
With the sound of the door closing, Julia closed her eyes.
Only the throbbing vibration of my heart echoed through the room. It felt like his heart was breaking.
* * *
After that day, Fernando further increased the number of knights placed around Julia.
It was self-evident that it was for the purpose of monitoring, not for the sake of escort.
As if he had expected that Julia would run away.
"My sire, this is Melissa. may I come in?"
Julia, who was squatting on the bed, did not respond to the voice calling me from outside.
He just buried his head deeper in his lap.
Julia stared at only my feet between the distant visions.
The messy hair obscured my vision, but I didn't feel the need to tidy it up.
Fernando didn't come to her anymore. She seemed to only see if she was docile through her articles.
Julia, too, was so exhausted that she never left the bedroom.
There were many times when I was locked up in my bedroom and sitting like this all day.
'If I get a divorce, where can you go?'
As I buried my head in my lap, his voice suddenly popped into my empty mind.
'Even in the same hell, you might think that my side is better.'
That voice, which continued dry as if stating the facts, easily ripped through Julia's heart.
He was right. If she finds out that she is an illegitimate child and divorces him, he will never be safe on his own.
Maybe you really think it's better to stay here as a mere grand duke.
Julia gently stroked her lips, which looked like they were still swollen.
In the humid air, it felt like I was suffocating again like that day.
He still couldn't figure out why Fernan wouldn't divorce him.
He obviously hated me. Didn't he say that he didn't like it and that even the things he saw were annoying?
'… There is a reason why this marriage is necessary.'
Julia, who had been contemplating for a long time, came to that conclusion.
To hold on to me, whom I hated so much, for something to be gained by maintaining this marriage.
There was nothing more to hurt. Because that man was always harsh on me and never showed any respect.
But no matter how calmly he tried, there was no way to soothe this miserable heart that had fallen to the floor.