Jason look at the tissue in his hands, then back to the shirtless picture of Jeremy that hung at the back of his door. He didn't know why still had the picture, he shouldn't have been looking at it, he knew this, at least now the way he looked at it today. He threw the tissues away, pulling his trouser up. Jason rolled to his side, hugging himself. He tried to forget what he had just done, pretend that the whole ride to orgasmic pleasure had just been in his imagination and he had not actually performed the act. Anytime, his brain replayed the memory, it would always see Jeremy watching him as his masturbated and feel even more disgusted with himself. He sighed, rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. He eyes fell back at the shirtless pic of Jeremy. "I need to get rid of that," he said to himself.
**
"You're late." Jeremy showed up at his desk the minute Jason arrived. "That's not something you see everyday." He took a quick glance on Jason. "Your shirt is also rumpled and you didn't brush your hair."
"I uh...I was busy with something really important."
"Really? What was it?" Jason's cheeks flushed a deep crimson at this question. "You're blushing. Is it a girl, someone you like?"
Jason chuckled nervously, eyeing him while using his free hands to prevent Jeremy from poking his cheeks, an habit Jeremy was starting to form whenever he saw him smiling. "I'm not blushing, my cheeks just go red sometimes and no, it's not a girl. I had to go drop something for my neighbor."
"Allison?"
Jason's head snapped up at the mention of her name. "I have other neighbors, you know?" Jeremy raised his hands stepping back, surprised at the sudden outburst. "Sorry," Jason apologise. "I didn't mean to raise my voice."
He was quiet for awhile, and Jason was about to apologise again before Jeremy spoke up. "It's fine. I'll leave you to work." He gave him a small pat, before heading back to his work space.
"Annoying, isn't he?"
"Christ!" Jason jumped when he heard the new voice of the man that had just entered. It was Peter. "Oh hey, I didn't see you there."
"I'm sorry I scared you," Peter said. "I was going to ask if you could lend me your stapler?"
Jason wanted to point to Peter that he should learn to not approach people from behind. It wouldn't be the first time that Peter would give him a heart attack from things like this. "You want to use my..." He paused, his eyes going to the table. "S-sorry," he told Peter when he saw that he didn't have one. "But Jeremy do, if you ask nicely-"
"Nevermind!" Peter was already saying, sauntering away.
Jason looked at the man till he had disappeared, then shook his head and went back to his work. But it was hopeless as he could hardly concentrate, Jeremy kept penetrating his thought every second. His eyes moved round the office, till it landed on Jeremy's table. He was speaking to the new recruit, a young woman named, Sarah. Jason couldn't hear what they were saying, but he didn't like how close they were. "What's wrong with me?" He asked himself, looking back at the screen before him, a sigh escaped his lips.
A week ago, he could care less, but ever since that day he has begun taking note of things concerning Jeremy. His aftershave, the little scrunch up nose whenever he smiled, or how his eyes would nearly close up when he grinned, the little claps he did when he was laughing uncontrollably, but most of all was his body. Jason knew Jeremy was hot, and they have been shirtless together in a room before. But whenever he had seen Jeremy as a beautiful man in the past, it was nothing different from how an average girl would acknowledge that her friend is beautiful. That was the way things was before, normal.
"Here."
"Jesus, Peter!" Jason shouted, his hands going to his chest. "You scared me—again," he added, looking behind him to find Peter standing there, holding out a stapler. His lips pouted in confusion. "What is this for?" He asked, before Peter could drop another apology.
"A stapler. To pin papers together."
Jason sighed at the obvious. "Peter, I know what they use a stapler for, I'm asking why you're handing one to me."
"Oh, you said you didn't have one right?" Jason nodded. "Well, now you do."
He smiled in relief, feeling a bit stupid. "Thank you, I appreciate."
"Sure."
After Peter left, Jason went back to staring at the screen. He knew he needed to get the work, but unlike other days, Jason didn't cross-check the password before proceeding. His system shut down immediately and so did the system of every other employee in the building. "Shit!" He cussed out loud, getting the attention of everyone. "Sorry, that was me."
The rest of the day went by slowly, very slow for Jason. What felt like hours to him were just minutes. He was tired, he wanted to go home. He was already thinking of a lie he could present to his Boss, and then use that as an excuse to go home. He has never used sickness as an excuse to go home before, so he believed that there was no way anyone could tell that he was lying if he did this time.
"No one would ever believe that, Jason. Since when did you start lying to leave work...Is something going on? You've been acting strange lately."
"No, I haven't."
"See, you're getting all defensive again." Jeremy pointed out. "You know if something is going on, you can tell me."
"I appreciate, but everything is fine with me, really you're worried over nothing." Jeremy stared at him for awhile, chewing the insides of his lips, with a small smile, he leaned forward and laid a kiss on Jason's forehead.
"Take care," he told him and proceeded to walk away.
Jason looked down at his jeans. "Shit."