'WILL you, Megan Mary Maguire, take this man…'
While the marriage celebrant intoned the traditional vow with all due solemnity, Megan was still struggling to believe it was really happening, that she was standing here in full bridal regalia, about to say the words that would make her Johnny Ellis's wife.
This man…the one she'd always wanted…her wedding to him more a teenage fantasy than an adult reality, yet here they were, standing on the green grass of the inner quadrangle, everyone who worked on the homestead in attendance along with her family and Johnny's closest friends, bearing witness to the marriage. This was how she'd dreamed of it, although her father should have still been alive, giving her away.
Perhaps he was in spirit.
Certainly it was his will that had started the very personal situation between her and Johnny rolling. If only the baby hadn't forced this end, if she'd been sure of Johnny's love for her, Megan knew she might have been a deliriously happy bride. As it was, her stomach was full of butterflies and all she could do was hope that everything would turn out right. Or right enough to live with this decision.
The celebrant looked expectantly at her. 'I will,' she said.
A leap of faith.
'Will you, Johnny Ellis, take this woman…'
No doubt about his reply. He'd been the driving force towards this wedding from the moment she'd agreed to marry him. No quick civil ceremony in a register office. A proper celebration of their union in front of those closest to them. At Gundamurra, because it was the most appropriate location—home to both of them—and it would keep the wedding contained and private. Ric would do the photographs, some of which would be released to the media afterwards, making the marriage publicly known.
At first, she had protested the idea of a photo of her— Johnny Ellis's bride—being splashed around the world, becoming part of the publicity machine that surrounded his career. His reply had made any argument impossible—
'I'm not going to hide you, Megan. And I am not entering you into a competition. To me you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I want other women to know it. To know I'm married to you.'
She'd never thought of herself as beautiful. Not anything like the celebrities he had mixed with socially. Had he said that simply to quell the panic she felt at being compared to them? Whatever the truth, Megan had desperately wanted to live up to Johnny's stated view of her, at least on their wedding day.
She'd asked Ric's wife, Lara, who'd once been an international model, to help her choose the wedding dress, a fabulous design in ivory silk with lace and seed pearls, making it possible to wear the pearl necklace, and a wonderful long veil attached to a pearl tiara.
Evelyn, with sentimental tears in her eyes, had declared she looked just like a princess, and her dear mother and father would be very proud of her today, but most of all Megan wanted Johnny to be proud of her, proud to have her as his wife.
'I will,' he said, very firmly.
Then they were exchanging the gold rings he had chosen. She was glad he wanted to wear one, too, the symbol of his commitment to their marriage.
This past month he'd devoted most of his time to catching up on all the work being done at Gundamurra, proving to her that he had a deep interest in it, even making suggestions for improvements that should be considered when the climate was right. But how long would he stay here before his career called him away? And how was she going to cope with his life?
Don't think about it. Not today.
'I now pronounce you husband and wife.' Johnny was smiling at her.
She could hear the clicking of Ric's camera.
Her heart was rocketing around her chest in anticipation of the kiss that was to come. It was impossible to move her facial muscles into a responding smile. Her mind was wildly sorting out the expression in Johnny's eyes. Pleasure in her appearance, yes. Also a flash of triumphant satisfaction, possibly in having carried through what he'd decided was right, even to holding off having any intimate connection with her until their wedding night. But mostly, she saw a simmering desire, revelling in the promise that she was his, to have and to hold from this day forth.
Sweet relief.
At least he did want sex with her.
He kissed her with a slow, seductive sensuality, his mouth certainly seeming to suggest that passion was just lying in wait for the privacy of their honeymoon. No problems in bed, Megan assured herself. Maybe her pregnancy actually made her more desirable to him. She hoped so, acutely conscious of the more rounded tummy hidden by the clever design of her wedding gown.
He steered her to the table where they were to sign the marriage certificate. Once that was done, everyone came up to congratulate them, wishing them a long and happy life together.
It amazed Megan how genuinely given these sentiments were, as though no doubts about the success of this marriage were being harboured. They knew she was pregnant. Neither she nor Johnny had tried to keep that a secret. Yet it seemed irrelevant to them. It was as though they had all decided that this match had been made in heaven and it met with their heartfelt approval.
Whether Ric or Mitch had raised any questions with Johnny, she didn't know. They gave no sign of it. Her sisters had thought it marvellous that Johnny wanted to marry her. Not one hint of criticism from them. Apparently they were perfectly confident that a workable future could be achieved between the two of them, probably on the principle that love conquers all.
Except the only love Megan was sure of was Johnny's love for their unborn child.
A huge barbecue dinner had been organised. Fairy lights had been strung around the pepper trees, just as they always were for Christmas, and the mood was just as merry. Speeches were made. Johnny played his guitar and sang a song he'd composed especially for her. He called it 'Coming Home' and everyone was moved by it, including Megan, who fiercely wished that the lyrics were a true expression of how he felt, not merely a string of effective sentiments that stirred emotions.
It prompted Lara to ask if he'd sing at a charity concert which was being organised in Sydney, all the proceeds to be used for drought relief, wherever it was most needed. 'Your name would pull in more people, Johnny,' she pressed. 'The concert won't be for a couple of more months. We have to fix a date for all the artists we want to be available. The idea is for them to donate their talent for the cause.'
'I'm taking time out from that scene, Lara,' he excused apologetically.
Because of me, Megan instantly thought. 'It's okay, Johnny,' she leapt in. 'I won't mind if you do it.'
He frowned at her, puzzled by her apparent eagerness for him to move back into the limelight.
'It will help people who are in desperate need of help,' she rushed out, needing him to see she could be fair.
'Lara said the concert will be held in a couple of months, Megan,' he reminded her, still frowning over her impulsive urging. 'I won't want to leave you at home alone at that point in time, being so pregnant, possibly needing my help.'
Was he worried about the baby? She'd only be six or seven months along, dependent on the date of the concert. Her pregnancy would definitely be showing by then, but Johnny had said he had no intention of hiding her.
'I could go with you,' she argued, determined not to appear selfish. Besides, this performance was to be staged in Australia, not overseas, and should only take up a week or two with rehearsals. 'It will give me the chance to buy baby things in Sydney,' she added eagerly.
'And I can guide you to the best shops,' Lara offered with her lovely smile. 'We'll have great fun shopping, Megan.'
'I'll come with you,' Kathryn chimed in, smiling at Mitch who was proudly carrying around their new baby son. 'Josh will be needing bigger clothes by then.'
'The mothers' club,' Johnny commented with an indulgent shake of his head.
'Yes. And I can just see you and Mitch and Ric forming the fathers' club in the not too distant future,' Kathryn retorted laughingly.
'You could be right,' he acknowledged.
If he really did base himself in Australia from now on, Megan thought hopefully.
'About the concert, Lara,' he went on. 'Send me the paperwork on it and I'll let you know.'
No promise.
Megan was disappointed that she hadn't won his approval. She silently resolved to find out what his reservations were about committing himself. There was still so much about Johnny she didn't know, despite having known him for most of her life.
But he was, without a doubt, the most handsome man in the world to her, breathtakingly so in his formal black dinner suit. And now, for better or for worse, he was her husband. Megan told herself to stop worrying about the future and just concentrate on tonight, being with him in every sense.
Tomorrow they were flying to Broome for a week's honeymoon—a week of making love and sharing intimate thoughts, she hoped. Tonight she wanted to convince Johnny that it wasn't just sex for her, banishing any thought that she'd only been using him to make herself feel better on the night of her father's wake.
She wanted him. Only him.
She tried to transmit this while Ric was posing them for the photograph he'd envisaged being the definitive one of their wedding. It was late in the evening—time for the party to break up—and everyone had followed Ric out to the setting he had chosen, away from all the buildings. He stood Megan and Johnny facing each other, holding hands. Behind them was a dark empty landscape, seemingly flat to the horizon, above it the brilliant stars of the outback sky.
They had to wait for him to get the lighting just right. Johnny joked about the exacting eye of an artist but he seemed happy to co-operate with his old friend's concept. 'That sure beats a cathedral,' Mitch murmured, almost reverently, looking up at the canopy of stars. 'Now I know why you won all those photography prizes, Ric.'
'To me, nature always beats anything man-made,' Ric answered. 'And this shot is meant to be totally primal, the imprint of greatest human faith in each other against the stark might of the outback.'
A convulsive little shiver ran through Megan at the all too perceptive truth of those words.
Johnny squeezed her hands, instantly imparting warmth and strength. She looked up into eyes that blazed their searing message into her heart…believe in me. She didn't hear the camera click that captured her own surge of emotion, the huge welling of need and desire to believe their marriage would survive anything life threw at them.
Survive and thrive here at Gundamurra, because this was where she belonged, where she wanted Johnny to feel he belonged, with her and the children they would have.
Home…
And that overwhelming wave of feeling was still sweeping through her when they were finally alone together in the room where their baby had been conceived. She was no longer nervous, nor apprehensive, nor worried about convincing Johnny of anything. A blissful sense of union with him permeated every kiss, every touch, building a deep passion for all the intense pleasure they could give to each other.
They were married.
On this—their wedding night—all other realities were left to be met when they had to be met.