The silence rang thoroughly through the open field. The blades of grass are swept away by the cold breeze that moves so scarcely along with time. To the people in attendance and to those who stood beside me, whilst like a shattered visage, I stood lifelessly over two graves with an expressionless smile. However, my thoughts rather wandered elsewhere.
Where are...my parents?
It was insignificant to me that I stood over the confirmation of their death. A part of me still clung to the idea they were still just running late.
Extremely late...
Yet the people in attendance still urged me to go forwards whilst I tightly gripped the envelope with 10,000 yen inside and a bouquet of lilies. I couldn't bare standing in this setting any longer and I placed the envelope along with arranged flowers and set them down gently.
I clung to my youthful guardian, Aikawa Sato, and tugged on the black sleeve that lent itself down from her dress and pleaded with her to leave. She crouched down slightly and smiled with a tinge of melancholy sprouted across her features.
"Okay. We'll get going then." She spoke in a soft tone.
The following days after the funeral I remained home as per the request of Sato, who wished that I take a breather before I return. But then I would finally return to school, after almost a month of absence. In contradiction to most people's opinion, I was rather pleased about my return back to school. Back to the friends that I enjoyed playing with and studying with, to the people who would never leave me.
"Hey, Kioshi. Will we still be getting money now that your parents are dead? Surely you have the money now, so I guess we can still be friends."
His words pierced me like a sharp blade tearing through a delicate cloth. Someone who I considered a dear friend was more worried about our rendezvous with my parent's money instead of focusing on his friend who was spiralling into a world of bleak colours and crumbling walls that fell like debris around him. My first interaction upon entering the school grounds took away all the feelings I felt beforehand.
Can I go home? The thought rang in my head.
"Huh?" I uttered the only sounds that left my flabbergasted mouth.
"Didn't you hear me? C'mon man, let's go to the arcades. That'll help you get your mind off your parent's death." A selfish grin spread across his face, his eyes glistening in a way that you wouldn't use if you were cheering up a friend. That was beside the point. His ignorant look wasn't what struck a chord within me.
"They're not dead." A whisper escaped my mouth.
"What are you muttering under your nose?" He demanded.
"THEY'RE NOT DEAD!!" He flinched at my desperate scream that filled the tranquil, desolate school grounds. I never had riled up myself up to this point in front of my friends. My nature had always been a calm one, even in the toughest of hardships I faced until now. Yet something I struggled to suffocate, strangle underwater somehow remerged itself.
After regaining his composure, he twisted his body fully towards me. My watery eyes only saw blurs of him, but the defining feature that became etched in my memory was his darkened face. His gaze was no longer present and his breathing became heavy, his face hardened and his fists clenched.
"Hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA!!" His demonic laugh scared me and I instinctively stepped backwards. "Here, let me help you." He whispered and pushed me backwards with force. I fell onto my backside facing up at him as the dust clouds raised off the floor.
"You think I fucking care about your shitty parents dying? Don't fucking kid yourself! Now give me the fucking money so I can play on the fucking arcades, you orphan!"
What's going on? This... isn't real. He would never say that to me. Right?
I shrank and made myself even smaller on the ground whilst he hounded me like a wild dog.
"There's no use in doing this anymore. You pretentious fucking spoilt rich kid! Don't look at me with those eyes that ask me what's going on! You see what's going on! If only I could have milked you for money instead of doing it the hard way. At least I can let some steam off now, right?" His tone grew more menacing as his knuckles cracked painfully.
"What are y-you doing? Were f-friends a-aren't we?"
"When are you going to realise? No one is your friend and no one likes you. Everyone's been pretending. This has all been a ruse!"
What did I do to deserve this? My mind searched for an answer. When did his hatred for me begin? Weren't we friends? Has he been using me for my money from the get-go? What does he mean by no one?
After that, my train of thoughts blanked out. I had been beaten brutally to the point of being unconscious. When I came too, he was no longer there. No one was. I picked myself up and returned home for the day. My first day back turned out differently from what I expected, to say the least. But a new feeling sparked deep inside, cultivating itself unbeknownst to me waiting for its chance to burst into a blooming fire that will spread its terror.
But for now, emptiness spread and the world bleached into a dull black and white.