¶¶¶ Tiana ¶¶¶
So warm, so warm, so warm... Why the hell was she saying that?
Lona, I'm trying to sleep here.
So warm...
Wait, why are we still alive? I wanted to die.
Are you seriously wanting us dead? Lucian saved us!
Waou.
Open your eyes and behold wonder... She giggled. I rolled my eyes mentally. I sighed and forced my eyes open, not that I can see a thing. I blinked in shock... Yup! Lucian healed you.
It wouldn't have made any difference, I would have healed anyways. I tried to turn but someone was holding me in place. I was wondering who was touching my waist? I looked at the person's hand, muscular. Trailing my eyes up the hand to the face, my cheeks turned red. It was Lucian holding me tightly. He was asleep too and looked a mess but still breathtaking.
Wonder!... Lona chirped.
Shhh... I sibilated.
I hitched myself up closer, making myself more comfortable so I could still see his face. My eyes stayed on his face, a smile on my face. I daintily reached up for his face and held his chin. He whimpered and sighed, my touch must have made him more comfortable. I rubbed my thumb on his specially made sculpted jaw, my mouth opened as the weird sensation flowed through me. My stomach was flipping simultaneously with my heart.
So weird.
So perfect...
Let's agree that my mind is corrupt.
I haven't even started yet, just look at the way his veins pops, the way his chest rise and fall. Isn't he the most lovely? Feel his shoulders.
I did as she said, driving my hand down to hold his shoulder, if felt so right in my hand. His shoulder was just the right amount of strong, could make a girl feel absolutely safe. I giggled and did the other thing, run my finger along the veins of his neck. The heat from his body merged with mine perfectly, just too perfect. His pale cream skin was paler, like he was sick but not sick.
Is he alright? Why is he even holding me?
Why are you enjoying it?
Can you not always counter my words?
Will you always agree with me?
Oh dear.
Hey! Look at his face! Have you seen his lips?!... She chirped.
I was tempted to look at his face; his silver hair with those weird highlights sprawled on his face. In a way, the hair framed his face, making him look more cuter. My eyes moved down to his lips, it was wet and looked like he smeared on some red lipstick. I moved my hand back to his face, brushed my thumb on it to check for lipstick. It was clean. I continued rubbing his lips with my thumb, his very soft lips. A soft sound emanated from his chest. I giggled again, I loved the sound. Wanting to hear it again, I entwined our legs, pushed myself up and slowly lowered my lips on his jaw. He made the sound again. I shuddered, the feeling was odd but desirable. I kissed his chin again, he made the same reaction. I kissed his jawline slowly, running my hand into his shirt. I kissed the bottom of his lip, that caused a soft purr.
'So strange,' I muttered. I averted my eyes to his... I gasped when I saw his amber, gold, amethyst and hunter green eyes were looking at me. My neck felt hot, am I blushing?
'Good morning,' he greeted with a hoarse voice. The butterflies in my stomach increased. 'Didn't your mother teach you not to seduce a sleeping man?' And that question brought my senses back, reminded me that the monster holding me was the same who killed my mother.
'I don't know, maybe you should find her dead body and ask her,' the smirk on his face disappeared. 'Let go of me,' I growled. He didn't let go. 'Let go of me Lucian' I snapped. He smirked. 'Why are you smirking? Why aren't you letting me go?'
'I love it when you call my name, it sounds better coming out of your mouth. How do you feel when I call yours? Does it make you shudder? Does it make you hot inside? Does it make your imagination go wild? Does it make you wonder why your stomach flips? Tell me Tiana, how do you feel?'
I took in a sharp breath. 'What are you doing to me? Why are you making me feel strange?'
'Why?' He asked innocently. 'Are you really wondering why?' His hand was exploring somewhere he shouldn't. I looked down at his hand that was trailing up between my thighs, going higher and dangerously deeper.
'lucian ,stop touching me,' I breathe. He chuckled but didn't stop swiping his hand between my thighs.
'I killed your mother, right? Which one of those filth was your mother?'
'You will not insult my mother,' I snapped. 'That same filth raised me to care and love your kind. Do you think that if I didn't respect your people, I would have let them hurt me so much? No. Don't you dare insult my mother or I'll break my vow by killing you.' I snarled into his face, not clothing my rage one bit. He stared at me like I was a two years old making a threat.
'You are so cute when you get mad, makes my desire to ram you stronger. If you don't want that to happen, then it would be wise you keep your hate speech to yourself.' He pushed me off him, the force landing me on the floor in a thud. I whimpered as pain coursed through my body from my side where I landed.l
'I'm pretty sure I will keep hating you for the rest of my life,' I groaned.
'Too bad. Your king killed my family, we both have a reason to hate each other.'
'And a reason to wish you were dead or better, me. My mother never killed a wolf, never even ate or let me do the same thing. If I knew saving one of your kind would cost me her life and my freedom, I would have let them face what they were captured for...' He snarled at me. 'Snarl all you want,' I snapped. 'You can do me a solid and kill me too, being dead is better than being alive and seeing your face!' He flinched, wincing at my words.
Say more, he needs to feel pain too.
'The main reason I let your evil demons hurt me was because I wanted to die, I wanted death to take me away from you, them and this miserable existence I call life. Anything I'll face in the other side would be better than being here and seeing all of you move freely after watching my entire family die. That mate of yours was lucky she didn't serve me my mother's flesh, I would have buried a knife into her skull that very moment and bring your entire empire to the ground along with all the wolves inside. I hate you, I hate your kind, and I hate my life!'
'Don't hate me! Don't hate your life because you have no right to!' He shouted furiously.
'You had no right to make me watch you rip out my mother's throat! You had no right to kill her!!!' I screamed at the top of my voice. I was already on my feet, secretly eyeing the scissors on the table. 'How dare you kill her when she did nothing?!!!!!!'
'You will not speak to me with such disrespect!!!'
'Or else what?! Kill me?! Break my bones like your wolves did?! Starve me?! Hurl me around or use me to play ball! Force me down into the sower and make me drink it! Make me crawl on nails and thorns with something bigger than me crushing my spine! Put my hands into a fire! Flog me! Claw at my face, punch my eyes, make me work my bones out or have me tied to an animal and pulled along thorn filled hails,' I spoke softly at the end, remembering all I've been through. 'Throw me down the stairs, make me bees practice dummy or leave me naked under the sun for men to stare for three days. What else do I have left? I have no family, no relative, no mom, no dignity, no pride. You shouldn't have saved me, you should have let me die...' I sobbed, stylishly grabbing the scissors.
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you in their care. I really thought they would follow my instructions...'
'I'm glad they didn't,'
'Please don't say that...'
'And I hate that you saved me, I want to embrace death. You won't let me live in peace, and you won't let me die. What then do you want from me?'
'Just don't die,'
'Too late, death is the only thing that would make me feel better...' And just like that, I raised the scissors up to stab myself in the neck. One minute he was at the bed, the other he had hurled himself forward and collided his body with mine. He knocked me down, quickly pinning my hands on the ground.
'Don't ever do that! Don't try to kill yourself or you'll kill me?!'
Kill him?
Don't look at me, I don't know what he's talking about.
'Why shouldn't I die! You killed my mother! I hate you! I hate you! And I will keep hating you until...' He crashed his lips on mine, stopping me from finishing my sentence.
He kissed me! This is all your fault!... Lona said chidingly... You had to tell him you hate him and he kissed us!
Us? Again, there is no us, just me. And how is it my fault!
Just bite him.
Good idea.
Getting his bottom lip between my lip, I sank my teeth into it, holding on to it to make sure I cause a damage. He howled out in pain, before removing his mouth from mine. He stood up from my body, howling and mourning his burst lip. I eyed the scissors again. 'Do you really hate me that much to bite me?!' I didn't reply, grabbed the scissors instead but he was fast to knock it off my hand again.
'Let me die!'
'No!'
I'll make him kill me then.
'Is this how you are, letting the daughter of the man that killed your family live? Yes Lucian I am his daughter and she was my mother. Now I think about it, I'm glad he killed so much of your kind, glad he wiped out your entire family and now you are lonely...'
'If you think you can bait me into killing you, then think again. I have more self-control than you think. And if you should think it properly, you are the lonely one. I have my pack, my somewhat cousins and dear friends. What do you have left?'
My throat went dry, he was right. My eyes watered, he caused it all. 'I hate you,' I sobbed.
'Your hate has nothing on me. You are not allowed to die. If it would make you feel better, your meaningless life means something to me.'
Why? Why? Why? Why?
What if you are his mate?... Lona asked... Just asking.
That is not possible but if...
I smiled slyly as I thought about it. If I was truly his mate, then he would feel all my pain, my emotions and needed me alive, right? I gathered up all the hatred I felt and pushed it into my emotion, adding my strong desire to either die or kill him forward too. I mean, what else could explain the sudden affection for him? The need to be with him? If I was his mate, then I had the upper hand.
I'll destroy you Lucian
Calm down tiana, calm down.
I confirmed it when he whimpered. He could feel my hate, my murderous intentions towards him and the desperation to be far away. I smiled inwardly. The wicked side of me suggested something, I was going to act on it. 'If you want me alive, then stay away from me, don't come close to me at all.'
'If I do that, do you assure me that you won't try to stab yourself?'
'I can't live when all those who hurt me live. How did you even heal me? I was sure death was calling me.'
'Let me worry about that. I will make sure they are punished for disobedience, I already made sure of that before you woke up.' He murmured.
'How long?'
'A week.'
'Whatever, get out and never come back or I'll kill myself...'
'Why are you threatening me with your life? Do you think I care!' Oh, reverse psychology, isn't it?
'Maybe because I am not completely dumb to the lifestyle of a werewolf. I am pretty much aware that I am your mate,' he winced.
'Don't do anything stupid or I'll kill you myself.' He threatened.
'If you wanted to do that, you would have done that already. I dare you to do it, I don't mind dying anyway.'
'You!' He snorted angrily.
'Get... Out!' I roared. He glared at me hatefully. Before I could speak again, he was gone.
Now that he is gone, let's throw ourselves on the bed and cry... Lona chirped.
What I said hurt me. I could feel his anger, his frustration and hate. I put my legs to my chest and hugged it, burying my face into my knees and letting the tears fall. Can I really stay away from him? Can I really stand it? I can't, I can't.
Your fault, your fault... Lona chanted ghostly.
I hate you sometimes.
Guess what?... She whispered... I don't exist, you do. I rolled my eyes mentally.
After crying for almost an hour, I took myself to the bed and slept off. I wasn't feeling any pain when he was around, but since he left, all the healing pains returned. After sleeping uncomfortably for over three hours, I woke up with my usual headache and stomach pain. Only this time, I knew my stomach was biting me because of Lucian absence. Mated to a wolf, the same man that killed my mother and my father killed his. How ironic.