Over the past few days, I've become more mentally sound than I have been in weeks. It's nice. It's real nice. I can look at people and see faces, real faces, and I can look at the greasy food which I serve them and smile at my handywork.
For once in my life I can see people, hear them, and talk to them. The world is brighter now, for reasons I cannot describe. I can feel it, and see it and smell it. Things I have done in the past do not mean anything here. I am a different person.
Then there are other changes, such as the fact the bathroom smells slightly better than it did before. Apparently the soap is slightly better. I honestly cannot remember if it was an improvement before. I need to ask whoever the guy was when he mopped. He might know.
Perhaps most importantly, I can stand for hours in a state of heightened awareness. It's like those psychedelic movies. You can see the world from all perspectives all at once. My Burger King uniform is dripping a weird green fluid onto the floor. It looks like the gunk you get when you pour out your used napkins on the floor. I can actually feel the dirt in the puddle.
I have always thought of myself as a good guy. Not a bad guy, or anything, just someone who tries to do what's right. I guess, I can now say, in some ways, I am a better person. I am more empathetic, and somehow I have developed more understanding for the people who deserve it least. Perhaps I am a good person at heart. I'm not sure. I've got a lot to think about.
The future will be full of fascinating wonders, I wonder if I'll, at least, maintain this state of mind? I'm not sure. I do know, this is the most pleasant I've felt in a long, long time. So, I need to be held accountable, so here it is. Anybody out there who wants to check out this new experience, is more than welcome to come and visit. Please. Someone help me.
Anyone?