"How could you do this? To your father?" my mother asks as she glares fiercely at me from the other side of my father's motionless body. I stare down at the scene in front of me as if I'm not really there. I can't move, I can't seem to form any coherent sentences as I stare at the destruction I've caused within my family. All I can do is stand there and watch as the one person in the world who is supposed to love me unconditionally stares at me in disgust and hatred.
"He's dead, and it's all your fault!" she screams at me. I flinch away from her harsh cords, but when I try to step away, it feels as if my feet are glued to the ground. "You killed your own father Alaina, and now you're going to have to live with that for the rest of your worthless, pathetic life!"
Tears spill from my eyes as she continues to glare at me. I look down to see my hands covered in blood… my father's blood. With each drop that drips from my fingers onto the floor, I feel more and more hatred from my mother.
"No, Mom," I say as I finally manage to find my voice. I look away from my hands and at her harsh features. "He was hurting you. I had to do something, or you were going to die! I couldn't let him kill you! I had to stop him!" I yell back at her through my tears. She doesn't even seem to be phased by my tone. She shakes her head at me and stands from my father's side. His lifeless eyes stare right at me as his head lolls to the side without her support. I gasp and try to take another step back but am again met with resistance.
"Stop him? You killed him!" she retorts back as she takes a step over his dead body and towards me. I have never seen her so angry before. She normally always just keeps her head down and her mouth shut, but now it's like she's a completely different person. She's angry and hurt, and I can see her wolf stirring beneath. She wants my blood in return for me spilling her mate's. "From now on," she speaks in a quiet, threatening tone, "you are no daughter of mine. You killed my mate, and as far as I'm concerned, you're dead too!" She takes off sprinting towards me, her claws and canines both out and ready for attack. Her eyes are pitch black and she is barely being held at bay. She's hurting from the loss of her mate, but I'm still her child… she shouldn't be able to attack me like this!
Before I can even raise my hands to defend myself, hands wrap firmly around my throat. I gasp as I move to reach for her hands, but my body is moving so slowly, almost as if it's not in my control. I can't breathe, and her elongated claws begin to sink slowly into my skin. I plead up at her with my eyes, hoping her maternal side will take over and she'll stop… but she doesn't. The warm flow of blood slides heavily down the length of my neck and onto my shirt, but she doesn't stop. She keeps squeezing harder without any sign of letting up. She wants me dead, and if she keeps this up for much longer, she's going to get what she wants.
"Mom," I wheeze as I finally reach her hands, "please stop!" My vision blurs and I know I'm in desperate need of the oxygen she's cutting off. My lungs and throat begin to burn as I try to find her hold unsuccessfully. I try desperately to catch her eyes once again, trying to get her to realize what she's doing and everything she'll lose by doing this, but the woman standing in front of me isn't my mother… She's a monster. In this moment, she's no better than my dead father lying not but ten feet from us. "Mom," I whisper as the edges of my vision start turning black.
This is it.
I'm going to die at the hands of my mother.
After everything I've done to help protect her, she's going to be the one to take my life away and all because I have an asshole of a father who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself. I don't deserve this. My mother didn't deserve this. No one deserves to be beaten by the person meant to love them most in this world.
No one.
"Alaina!" I don't know where the voice is coming from but it sounds like it's far off. Everything blurs together and I'm not even sure if I'm conscious at this point. "Alaina!" it yells again. I'm becoming delirious by this point. I don't know who's calling me, I can't even recognize the voice at this point. I see my mother's mouth moving, but no sound is coming out of it – at least none that I can decipher. All of my focus is on the painful burning sensation traveling through my body. "Alaina! Red, please!" I feel my mother's claws dig further into my neck and I know this is it. I'm dead now. "Alain!"
All of a sudden, the pain is gone and I'm just numb all over. I don't know what's happening, but I can no longer feel my mother's fingers wrapped around my throat or her claws digging into me. I try to clear up my sight and look around, but everything is black now. I can't even take a deep breath. I'm floating off into nothing as a voice continues to call out to me through the darkness. I try to listen, to feel for any sort of connection, but I can't.
"Alaina? Come back to me, Red! Please, come back," the voice whispers, fear filling the tone. I can feel the tightening around my neck again, but my mother isn't there anymore. I feel someone grab ahold of my arms and start to shake me violently. I struggle against the hold, but it's too strong for me to break free in my weakened state. My body feels weak and heavy as I try to fight off my invisible attacker.
"Open your eyes!" the voice yells suddenly and my eyes suddenly fly open and I'm surrounded by nothing but brightness.
***
I gasp for air as I look around the bright room.
Mason is on his knees next to me on the bed. I can feel the layer of sweat that now coats my body, but at this moment I don't care. I just need him to hold me. I reach up and grasp his neck in one hand and pull him down to where his face is nestled into my neck and mine in his. I inhale his scent as I try to calm down, but my heart continues to pound erratically inside my chest. Mason's arms wrap around me as he pulls me further into his hold. I work to steady my breathing, but the images of my mother still haunt me.
I was dreaming. My mother wasn't trying to kill me, and my father wasn't killed by my hand. It wasn't real… at least not all of it. I relax into Mason's strong hold as I let the memory of my dream fade to the back of my mind. It hurt to know that my mother could have actually done that to me, dream or not. That dream would never have even been a possibility for my mind to create if she hadn't treated me the way she did.
"Alaina, are you okay? You were having a nightmare and I couldn't wake you up. Your breathing was erratic, and I could feel your terror down the bond. I was so worried," he whispers against my neck. I nod against his shoulder, not being able to talk just yet. "What were you dreaming about?" I go stiff as images of my mother's unloving glare flash before my eyes.
"The night I attacked my dad," I whisper after a few seconds. "He was laying there dead, and then my mom attacked me. I couldn't even move to defend myself. It was like my body wasn't in my control. She tried to kill me. I couldn't breathe, Mason. She was choking me and digging her claws into my neck so deep. I almost died."
"You're okay. I won't let her hurt you, Red. You know that right?" he asks as he pulls away so he can look into my blue eyes. I nod my head weakly and just let the feel of his body laying mostly on mine fill my senses. I do not doubt that he won't let her – or anyone else for that matter – hurt me anymore physically… but the mental damage is already done. She's disowned me. My own mother doesn't even want me anymore. "I know this is hard for you, but I need you to just trust me, okay? It will all be okay in the end."
I know his words are meant to help calm me down, but I can't stop the sob that escapes my lips. Mason moves quickly to tighten his arms around me, and just holds me as I cry through my pain. My heart feels as if it's being held together by little weak pieces of tape, and they're slowly peeling away. Mason is my tape… but he can only do so much for me when I know what's waiting for me out there. My father's hateful glare shines behind my closed eyelids as he hits my mother, and she just stares at me with the same amount of hatred as that night. Not wanting to face any of this right now, I bury my head further into his chest and let his hold fight off all my demons for now. At least for this small amount of time, I'm free from them.
"Are you okay now?" he asks softly as he runs his fingers through my hair. I can hear the worry in his voice, and it kills me knowing I'm causing him so much worry and grief right now. I don't want this for him… for us. Finding my courage, I pull my head out of my current hiding spot and look up at him through my lashes. The tears have slowed but they are still present in my eyes. I'm not okay, not really, but this is what he needs to hear.
"I'm okay," I whisper with a forced small smile. "It was just a dream… a nightmare really, but it wasn't real. I'm okay now, I know I'm safe here." He rolls to his side so his body isn't encasing mine anymore and I move out of his hold and sit up in the bed. I glance over at the clock on the side table and see that it's only just seven in the morning. Way too early for me to be up, but after what I just went through, I know there's no way I'll be going back to sleep anytime soon. I sigh and figure it's as good as any time to get up and start the day.
Mason moves to sit up next to me, I can still feel the tension in his body. "Do you want to talk about it?" His fingertips trace small patterns across the small of my back. I close my eyes and sigh as I focus on the tingles following his fingers.
"I'm sure you have things that need to be taken care of with the pack and everything now that there is a pending war at our doorstep. You don't have to worry about me and my dreams." I lean to the side so I can press against him. I want him to stay, but he needs to prepare the pack for what is to come. Not to mention he has to get everything ready for my formal introduction to the pack.
"I always worry about you, Alaina. You're my mate, it's kind of my job," he speaks sternly, leaving no room for argument in his voice. "I have people who can take care of things until I get there later. You need me now and I want to be here for you to talk to." He leans over and presses a soft kiss against the side of my head before wrapping me in his arms and falling back to the bed, taking me with him. I fold my arms across his chest and rest my chin on them as I look up at him.
"It's okay, really. I don't really want to talk about it anyway." I know he can see straight through my act, but I'm hoping to be able to avoid this for a little while. I don't want to talk about it. Talking about it is just going to make me relive it and at this moment I wish I could just forget about it altogether. I also don't want to give him yet another thing to worry about when it comes to me. I'm a big girl, I can handle a nightmare.
He raises his eyebrows in question and sighs softly. We have barely known each other for going on four days now and he can already read me better than anyone I've ever met.
"Talk to me, Alaina," he whispers as he runs his hands up my back. "What happened in your dream that had you so terrified that you were hyperventilating in your sleep and then you couldn't even speak when you woke up?"
I sigh and close my eyes. I'm not going to get out of not talking about this, so I might as well just get it over with. He's the only one who could possibly understand the feeling I'm dealing with right now. With him marking me last night, our connection is that much stronger, which is probably why he felt how distressed I was in my sleep.
"It was like I was back there. My mother was holding my father's dead body and she just kept blaming me for everything. She blamed me for the reason her mate was dead, and she just wouldn't listen to me when I told her it was all to protect her. She kept saying I was no longer her daughter, that I was dead to her since I killed her mate." I take a trembling breath as I look at him. His soft eyes watch me, but he doesn't say anything. "She hates me, Mason. I could see it in her eyes, she wanted me dead. I know it was a dream, but Mason, the look in her eyes in that dream was the same as when it really happened." I pause when I feel the tears threatening to fall once again. I don't want to cry anymore.
"What do you mean she wanted you dead? She's your mother, Alaina, as mad as she is and as much pain as she was in to see her mate that way, she would never hurt you like that. She wouldn't be able to. You're her pup." I shake my head and look away from his amber eyes. She didn't attack me in real life, so maybe he's right when he says she wouldn't be able to, but that doesn't mean she didn't want to.
"She tried to kill me in my dream, Mason. She looked right at me with so much hatred as she wrapped her fingers around my throat and strangled me. I couldn't fight back. It's like I wasn't strong enough to do anything but just watch her kill me." I sniffle and look back at him. "I could hear someone yelling my name, but I couldn't focus on anything other than the burning sensation in my lungs from the lack of oxygen." I close my eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face from hearing how fucked up my mind is becoming. I haven't even been gone a week and it's already tearing me apart.
"How did you wake up? What brought you back to me?" he asks quietly as he runs his fingertips over my eyelids. "Open your eyes, Red," he pleads softly. I do as I'm told to see him breathe a sigh of relief when I look up at him.
"I heard someone calling out to me, but I just couldn't focus on it. I didn't even know who was talking to me. The pain was just overtaking everything within me, and I couldn't stop myself from just giving up. My vision started to fade out and everything just started to disappear from my sight… and then I was back here with you."
I can feel his worry through the bond, and I hate that now on top of everything going on with this damn war, he's going to have to worry about me not being able to handle what I did back home… back there. I don't want him to worry about me. I want to be okay, I just don't know how to be right now. The best I can hope for is getting further settled into the pack will grant me some sort of peace.
"Okay, listen to me." He lifts my chin so I'm completely looking into his eyes as he talks. "Your father isn't dead. He's healing now as we speak so your mother has no reason to really hate you. She still has her mate, and she's going to have to live with sending you away from protecting her for the rest of her pathetic life. It may seem cruel for me to say this, but I hope she suffers for what she's done to you. As much as I love that I found you and you're here with me, I did not want you to go through what you did to get here. But she's your mother, and she should never have done what she did, so for that, she deserves what she gets. She's not going to kill you, Red. I won't let her, or that pack anywhere near you. Do you trust me?" I nod my head without any hesitation. "Then just trust me to keep you safe."
I nod my head without saying anything. I do not doubt that Mason will do anything to keep me safe, but I don't want to see the pack in danger because of me. If I go back, I will stand trial for what I did. Seeing as how my dad isn't dead as I originally thought, it shouldn't be too bad of a punishment. It would probably just be a banishment type thing and seeing as I have no intention of staying there that wouldn't be bad. There would be no war, and everyone would be safe. Mason and I would be free to move on with our lives and run the pack without the pending fear of Alpha Dylan's attack. We'd be free.
"You are not going back there," Mason grinds out. At first, I'm confused as to how he knew what I was thinking, but then it clicks that I left my wall down so he can use the mindlink to hear what I'm thinking. "You're right that it shouldn't be too bad. Since he's not dead it would be a minor punishment for attacking your Beta. You would stand trial, but since you ran and I refused to let you go back with them… it will be much worse. Dylan's an Alpha, and we don't like not getting our way. And he's not a good, or stable, Alpha, Alaina. It makes him unpredictable with what he would do with you." His arms tighten around my waist as he pulls me so I'm closer to his head. His fingers bury themselves in my hair as he pulls me closer so my forehead is resting against his.
"I hadn't thought of it that way," I whisper as I close my eyes. "Do you think they would do something other than just banishing me from the territory? He's not dead, could they really justify doing anything worse than that?"
"Yes, I do, and yes they can. I think that they will try to keep you there just because Dylan is a dick and friends with your dad. I'm sure they're pissed off I didn't send you back immediately so they would torture you just to spite me. I don't even want to think about what he would try to do to you if you were back there," he growls out. My dad never hit me, he yelled at me but what father doesn't get onto their children? But seeing as he was hurt because of me, I'm sure that would change dramatically. He'd probably try to kill me. And considering the size difference between us, he would most likely have no difficulty in doing so.
"If my dad got his hands on me, he'd probably kill me," I whisper as I think about it. He's a Beta and his own daughter did that to him, there's no doubt in my mind that he would use me to set an example not to mess with him again. The only reason I got the upper hand last time was because my wolf was mainly in control and we had the element of surprise because I attacked while he was beating my mother. "I don't want to go back. I won't," I say with more force behind my voice.
"If you going back was the only option, I would go with you. We'd take a group of our best pack members and you wouldn't leave my side unless you were completely surrounded by our men. You would be safe, but even with how strong I know our pack is, we would be outnumbered. The safe bet is to stay put," he explains as he runs his fingers flex in my hair. I nod my head and settle all of my weight on his strong frame and relax into his hold. With the threat of war and my nightmare, I just want him to hold me close and let me know it's all going to be okay.
Mason leans his neck forward to start planting soft kisses along the span of my neck. I sigh at the contact. This is what I need right now. My mate. His lips brush over his mark and I shiver at the contact. "Is it still hurting at all?" he asks, brushing his lips across my sensitive flesh. I shake my head no as I reach up quickly to hold his head there. The sensation is unlike anything I've ever felt before. The tingles that I felt before he marked me were strong, but now it's like everything has been dialed up to eleven. He presses an open-mouth kiss to my neck, his tongue flat against the mark, and I can't help but moan at the contact. Tingles erupt throughout my body and everything seems to travel straight between my thighs. My wolf wants him, and she wants him now… but I know I'm not ready for this yet. I wanted him to mark me despite wanting to wait, but I plan on fighting off the bond until I'm sure that I'm ready to give that part of myself to Mason. I know that the battle will be short-lived because of how the mark works with the bond, but still. I doubt I would ever regret sharing a night of passion with him, but I also don't want the reason we do complete the bond to be because of the pending war. I want it to be because it's what we want.
"Okay," he says roughly as he flips me over, so my back is pressed into the mattress. Just as I'm about to reach up to wrap my arms around him, I lose contact as he leaves the bed. I pout as I sit up on my elbows and stare at him. His breathing is hard, and I can see an impressive bulge in his boxers as he stands with his eyes on the floor. I may not want to mate just yet, but I didn't want him to retreat away from me. "Stop pouting, Alaina. If I don't stop now I won't be able to. My wolf is already fighting for control as it is. Seeing those full lips pouting at me like that is just making this harder. So, stick that lip back in your mouth before I take it between my teeth and take what I want from you." The threat is there in his voice, and I can't help but shiver at the image in my head. He huffs and glares at me slightly, seeing what I'm imagining as well. Even with his battle with his wolf, I know neither of them would do anything to harm me.
"Fine, but just because I don't want to mate yet doesn't mean you have to move away from me," I sigh as I lie back and watch him move around the room getting ready for the day. He sends me a soft smirk as he shakes his head. It amazes me how a man of his size can move around with such grace. He always seems to be prepared for anything. Part of me wants to jump him now, just to see if he's prepared for that. I close my eyes and shake my head slightly to rid myself of the images. Resisting the bond is going to be harder than I ever imagined it would seem. "What are you doing today?" I ask as I watch him pull on a clean pair of jeans. He glances over at me briefly before continuing to stuff things in his pockets. Guys complain about girls putting so much stuff in their purses, yet they do the same with their pockets.
"I'm going to the pack house today. I've got to make some phone calls and fill out paperwork that I've been putting off. Then I have to get in touch with everyone to start setting up for your introduction to the pack," he replies. He proceeds to pat every pocket to make sure he has everything he needs before turning his attention back to me. I roll onto my stomach before lifting up onto my knees and moving towards the end of the bed so I can be closer to him. "I'm going to be with Jason today, and I don't know how long it will be. I already made arrangements for Brandon to come over to watch–" I glare at his use of words. He raises his hands in surrender, not wanting to fight about this again. "Hang out with you today while I'm gone. He said something about bringing his mate over, so I thought maybe you guys could go shopping at the mall not far or something." I raise my eyebrows at him. He's going to let me leave the house?
"You're going to let me go into town without you?" I ask suspiciously. He nods his head slowly. "Not that I'm complaining, but why the sudden change of heart? I thought you didn't want me to go out a lot without you there with me?"
"You're under a lot of stress right now with that phone call and this morning. I'm going to be busy so I figured having a semi-girl's day with Mary while Brandon and a few other guards follow you around could help you take your mind off things for a little while. You don't have to go if you don't want to go, but I think it'll be good for you. It's ultimately up to you though, Red," he speaks softly as he walks over to the side of the bed. I sit back on my calves and look up at him. I don't want him to go today. I want him to climb back into bed with me, but I know he has things to do. He rests his hand against my neck and presses his thumb against the underside of my jaw, forcing my head back as he smiles at me.
"Thank you, sweetie. That is really sweet of you to let me do this. I need to find a nice dress for the introduction anyway and I have a feeling Mary will be better at helping me out than you are since it's very obvious you do not like shopping very much." He blushes slightly and presses his lips together. I lift up on my knees and wrap my arms around his neck and smile at him. "When you get tonight back, I'll make you some dinner okay?" he nods his head. I glance at his lips before leaning forward and pressing a hard kiss against them. The tingles erupt yet again and I squeeze his neck to bring him closer to me. When I pull away the tingles slowly fizzle out against my lips. "God, I'll never get tired of that feeling whenever you touch me," I murmur against his lips. He pulls away just enough so he can look into my eyes.
"I surely hope not. If you do, you must let me know, so I can fix whatever it is," he jokes. I giggle and run my hands over his cheek. I watch his head tilt further into my touch as we just stand there in each other's embrace. Moments like these are a nice distraction to everything else going on in our lives… though distractions only last so long. I can see the worry behind his eyes as he watches me, but he's doing his best to hide it. He's got a lot on his plate now. The pending war, my nightmare, and freaking out on him. I don't want to make things worse. I sigh and make the decision to make things as easy for him as I can. "Everything's going to be okay, Alaina. I promise." I smile at him and nod my head in agreement. "I'll see you later, Red. If you need me for anything the line is always open. It's also open if you just feel like saying hi." He kisses me on the head and turns to leave the room.
"Mason," I call after him. He turns before he's out the door and looks at me expectantly. "I love you," I whisper before blowing him a small kiss. He smiles and playfully acts like he caught the kiss and put it in his pocket. I giggle once again and watch as he leaves the room. I drop back on the bed and smile at the ceiling. Even with everything else going on around me, I'm unbelievably happy right now. I'm safe, and I'm home. What more could make me happy?