I sit in silence in the front seat of the car as Mason drives towards the pack doctor. It's not a long drive, but I didn't think I would be able to make the walk knowing what awaits us there. I feel like I can't breathe as I stare out the car window at the passing trees. I keep wringing my hands together in my lap as I think of how this could go. Mason reaches over with the hand not on the steering wheel to grab my hands in his large one. I know he's trying to calm me down, but I don't think anything is going to work for that, not even him.
All too soon, Mason stops the car in front of the pack hospital. I stare at the building that my mother is being held in and I can't figure out what I'm feeling. I know I have to go in, but the hesitation I'm feeling seems to turn every muscle I need to use to stone. Mason sits patiently beside me, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.
"You sure you want to do this?" he asks, no doubt feeling my panic through our bond. "I can go in by myself and talk to her, and then tell you about it afterward." I consider cowering away in the car while he deals with my mom, but I know that's not how this needs to go. I'm the Luna of this pack now. If I can't even face my own mother, how will I be expected to face much more difficult things in the future? I shake my head and move to open the door. Mason squeezes my fingers lovingly before speaking again, "Okay, let's go."
He follows my exit from the car and quickly makes his way around the car to my side. I quickly move to his side and let his scent settle my wolf. If I can't calm down, at least she can with Mason beside us. I take one more deep breath before settling further into my mate's side as we head towards the building.
The inside of the building smells clean… too clean. The smell of antiseptics fills the rooms as we walk. Mason leads me into a small room where my mom is sitting on the bed in a white gown. Her face looks slightly less swollen, no doubt from the medicine she's been given since I can't expect her wolf to be strong enough to heal her right now. She looks like she's had a shower and the cuts covering her body were cleaned. The pack doctor is standing next to her while he checks something on her arm. He turns to look at us as soon as we enter the room and quickly bows his head in respect before turning and leaving the room. I watch him leave, not yet ready to have the conversation that's about to occur. Mason squeezes my waist, and I sigh as I look back at my mom.
"Hi," she rasps out as her eyes are solely locked on me. I do my best to smile at her as I move toward the chair beside the bed. Mason follows close behind, showing his support in letting me take the lead in this. I don't know what to say, so I just sit there and look her over. The bruises from my father's hands are still clear against her pale skin. There's a long cut that seems to be healing slower than her other injuries ranging from her shoulder down to her elbow. I guess that's what the doctor was looking at. She shifts slightly on the bed to cover the mark with her hand but winces in the process. "I'm sure you both have a lot of questions," she whispers, her voice rough and almost unfamiliar as she looks between the two of us.
"We do," Mason says as he places his hand on my shoulder. I can feel his heat radiating off him from how close he's standing. For support. For protection. For whatever I need him to be. I reach up and grab his hand and smile up at him softly, thanking him. "But first, are you okay?" he asks as he looks back at my mother. She sighs softly before she shrugs what seems to be her uninjured shoulder, but she still winces. I lean forward out of instinct at seeing her in pain before sitting back, unsure what to do.
"Mom," I start, "you don't have to lie. How bad was it this time?" I ask, glancing at the fading bruises on her face from the last time I saw her. Tears flood her eyes as she watches me and a sting of guilt slices through me.
"While he was healing, he promised that he would never lay another hand on me again because it almost cost him his life," I flinch at the reminder that I almost killed my own father, "but the second he got back home, it was the same as before except there was no you to try to interfere. As you can tell, it was really bad. I don't even know what set him off this time. He just got back from meeting with Dylan, and he lost it on me." She sniffles before taking a deep breath. "I waited until he fell asleep while I was downstairs trying to find something to ease the pain I was in because my wolf wasn't helping me heal as fast as normal. I had already packed a bag and everything while he did whatever he does in his office, and then I left that night.
"I was almost out of the territory when he caught me and beat me some more. I don't know how I managed to get away, but I did. I lost the things I had with me when I shifted into my wolf. The clothes I had on when I found you today I found lying around outside when I finally felt safe to shift back. I knew this was where you were, and my wolf was already hurting from when I told you to leave and never come back," we both wince and Mason squeezes my shoulder again. I don't know if it's to comfort me or to calm himself, "so I let her take over. She found her pup, and I found my daughter.
"I didn't know where else to go, Alaina. I know you have every reason to turn me away, after what I said to you and the way I pushed you aside when you were doing nothing but trying to protect me from that… that monster." My head jerks at her choice of words. She called her mate a monster. He is one of course, but I never thought I'd see the day she called him one. "I'm sorry for that, so sorry, sweetheart. I will live with that regret and pain of watching you run out of that house for the rest of my life." Tears roll down her cheek as she looks at me. I shake my head and look away from her for a few seconds, unable to form words.
"I don't understand," I say as I stand from the chair. I can't just sit here and listen to her talk about how she finally ran away. She's acting like this is normal, running away when he hurts her. But it's not normal. I tried so many times to get her away from him, and every single time I was told to mind my own business because I didn't understand. She refused to even listen to a single word that came out of my mouth when it came to that man. Now, suddenly, it's all okay. "Why was this time any different from every other time? I tried to get you to leave," I turn and stare at her as I do my best to fight down my emotions, "I tried to protect you from him all year, but you just kept telling me that I didn't understand. And now that I have found my mate, guess what, I still don't understand, Mom!" I shake my head and I feel Mason move in behind me, but I don't stop. I can't. "I have a mate and I understand not wanting to be away from him… but with finding him I also found how mates are supposed to be together. Not beating the shit out of their mate. Mate or not, that man is a monster and you put us both at risk by not leaving.
"You never should have let him anywhere near either of us! Don't you see that? Don't you see what it's done to me alone? I'm terrified that I'm going to turn around and he's going to be there to take me away from the one place where I feel like I belong! Because I couldn't control myself when I saw my father trying to strangle my mother in the middle of the night which is ultimately what caused me to snap and beat him – almost to death – and have to run away from the one home I knew. I found Mason, which I don't regret for one second, but now here I am watching as a war is brewing at our doorstep and not being able to do anything to stop it!" I shake my head as I feel Mason's arms wrap around my ribs. "This could have all been avoided if you would have just listened to me the first time," I whisper as my tears finally fall from my eyes. I watch my mother through blurred eyes as she just sits there and stares at me.
Mason quickly turns me in his arms, and I bury my face in his chest as I let my emotions fill me. I listen to his soothing words as I do my best to focus on the feeling of his fingers trailing up and down my back. As mad as I am, I never would have thought I'd be yelling at my mom. Hell, I never thought I'd even see her again. What makes it all worse is I blamed her for everything. As much as I tried to get her to leave, what happened wasn't her fault. It was all his fault. I pull my head out of Mason's chest and look up at him with tear-filled eyes. He stands there watching me without saying a word, but I can see the worry in his eyes. I hate that I'm the one putting that look there. Lately, it's the only look I seem to see. And that's something I need to change.
He nods encouragingly at me and gently turns me back to my mother. I blink several times, clearing my vision as I look at her. Her eyes are red with unshed tears as she watches the two of us. I feel bad for what I said to her because I know it's not her fault, but that doesn't mean it isn't somewhat true. If we would have left, things would have been different. But we can't keep living in the past.
"I know you two must think that I'm here because Dylan and my husband sent me to figure out what's going on here, but I'm not," she speaks – her voice less raspy than before – as she looks right at Mason. "I promise you that I'm here just to escape from a situation I never should have been in to begin with. I want to help, in any way that I can. Mason, please don't send me away," her eyes shift me and despite everything, I can see the love there. "I left my baby once, I don't think I can do it again and survive."
"You didn't leave me, Mom. You sent me away." She flinches but I push forward. I need answers. "Just tell me why you let him continue to beat you like that. He's your mate, I get that part of it, but that doesn't make any of the things he did okay," I whisper.
"If you really want to know, he's not my mate… well, not my true mate at least," she answers, her eyes never leaving the two of us. I feel Mason tense behind me, but he doesn't say anything.
I don't know what to make of the words coming out of her mouth. What the hell does she mean by my father isn't her "true" mate? How is that even possible?
"What does that even mean, Mom?"
She sighs for what seems like the thousandth time since we walked into this building. "Robert is my mate… but he's not my first mate." I feel myself pushing further into Mason's hold, trying to escape where I think this conversation is headed. "I found my mate not long after I shifted for the very first time. We were friends, best friends really, and when we shifted around the same time we realized we were mates. We were so young that we didn't even fully understand what was going on. We had been taught about it, read about it, and seen it with the pack members around us, but we still couldn't completely grasp the meaning of being soulmates with someone.
"But there was one thing we were completely sure about, and that was how much we loved each other. I'd always loved him growing up, but it wasn't until we shifted that I realized I loved him because I was born to love him." I watch as her eyes flare with pain, but she pushes through. "When we were eighteen, we finally completed the mating process after all those years. We wanted to wait until we were both sure we understood what it meant to complete the bond. We wanted to wait until we were both ready. Not long after that, there was this attack." Her breath hitches in her throat and I can see the unshed tears in her eyes. Oh, God.
"Mom," I strain out as I stare at her.
"The attack was big, and we weren't ready for it at all. Nate was killed. He died trying to protect me from a group of Rogues. We were both trained on how to fight, but when the time came for the actual fighting," she shakes her head and takes a steadying breath, "Nate did everything he could to keep me out of it, but we were overwhelmed and even when I stepped in to help it was too late.
"I was so lost after he was killed that I stopped functioning. Everything just seemed to stop, and I couldn't cope with losing the one person that meant the world to me. My wolf was barely holding on and I was sure I was going to die without him. Hell, I wanted to. But just when I thought it was over, I met Robert. I met your father, except he isn't your father, Alaina." All I can do is blink at her. "I didn't find out until a couple of days after the extremely fast wedding I had with your father… sorry, a force of habit, that I was pregnant with you. I knew you were Nate's pup because even though I'd found Robert we hadn't been together yet. Bond or not there I wasn't quite ready for that being so soon after losing Nate. However, Nate was gone and I had a new mate now.
"It's so rare for someone to have a second mate, but I was lucky enough to have one for your sake. I know that the only reason your father turned out to be my second mate was because someone was looking out for you, Alaina. I'm sure I would have survived on my own after learning I was pregnant, but I don't think I would have figured that out in time for it to make a difference. My wolf was barely holding on and the only reason she was probably still there was because she sensed you. Robert saved me then, so I let him take on the role of being your father. We completed the bond after the wedding, and I let him believe that you were his pup. He never questioned it. He knew about Nate, but we never talked about it. The less he knew the safer I thought you would be."
I don't even know what to say.
All my life she's been lying to me about who my father was. I look over my shoulder at Mason who seems just as much at a loss for words as I am. Second chance mates are so rare, but even if that were the case, she should have told me. I get not telling my father… Robert… but I had every right to know that the monster destroying our lives this past year wasn't even my flesh and blood.
"So, what you're telling me, is that my father isn't actually my father?" I ask just to be sure this is what she's saying. The slow nod of her head sends a shock through me. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" I run my fingers through my hair in frustration as I try to sort everything running through my mind. Mason rubs his hands up and down my arms as he presses closer to me to help try and keep me calm. Is this really happening?
"If I would have told you, it would have put your life in danger, Alaina." Mason's hands tighten on my arms at the mention of me being in danger. I lean my head back against his chest in hopes of relaxing him enough to get through this conversation. "Mason, if you and Alaina had a baby, but it turned out that the kid wasn't yours but someone else's… would you want to raise it?" she asks. Mason tenses behind me before sliding a hand down my arm until he can wrap it possessively around my waist. I wrap my hands around his forearm and rub my thumb over his skin.
"Well, I would be pissed that she was with someone else, and I won't lie, I wouldn't feel as close to the kid as I would if it were my own pup," he pauses and I can feel his chest expand with a deep breath, "but Alaina is my mate and I would never do anything to hurt her. Whether the pup was mine or not, it's part of her and I love her enough to find it in myself to love and protect them both." I close my eyes and lean further into him. We would never need to be in this type of situation but hearing how much he loves me will never get old. "I don't see how any of this relates to what we're talking about with Alaina being in danger. Robert was your mate, hurting your pup whether it was his or not would hurt you. It shouldn't have even been in the cards for him."
"If my husband would have found out that Alaina wasn't his pup, it was very likely that he would have tried to kill her or something much worse. I didn't know how he would react to me being pregnant with someone else's pup when we had just gotten married. He already wasn't happy that he wasn't my true mate and that I was with Nate beforehand. I was trying to keep my child safe."
I know she has a point. She was keeping me safe, but that still doesn't explain why we didn't just leave when he started becoming violent. I get they have a bond, but if the few things out there about second chance mates are true, the bond isn't as strong as the first. Everything going on right now could have been avoided altogether if we had just left.
"Mon, I'm still mad that you didn't leave when I told you to." She nods her head and hangs her head in shame. Guilt quickly fills my chest. "But I understand why you didn't tell me about my father. It just hurts, finding out that my father isn't my father and that my real father is actually dead, I guess. Everything you've ever told me has been a lie. It's just a lot to take in right now," I say as I lean further into Mason's touch. I need him to hold me right now. So much is going on right now, and it's a lot to take in at one time. "On a lighter note, you're going to be staying here until you've healed completely, and Mason finds you somewhere to stay," I explain, unsure if I mean on the territory or not. She's my mother and I want her near me, but her being here could cause more problems than anything and it also puts her at more of a risk of my father… of Robert finding her again. I just need more time to figure out what to do with all of this right now.
"The doctor will make sure you're comfortable and you'll have some privacy, but Alaina should be getting home. She's had a long day, we both have," he says as he steps back and grabs my hand. I send my mother one last smile and debate whether or not I want to hug her. She sits quietly watching us with knowing – painful – eyes, but she doesn't say anything. I decide against it for tonight and simply tell her good night before I let Mason lead me out of the room. He stops briefly to talk to the pack doctor, making sure my mother will be comfortable and left alone before heading towards the car.
After backing out and pointing the car towards our house, Mason asks, "So, how are you feeling with all that?"
How am I feeling? I don't even know what to think let alone feel right now.
"Mason, my whole life has pretty much been a lie. My father is really dead, and my mother has had two mates in her lifetime." I shake my head and look out my window. "How am I supposed to ever trust her to tell me the truth again after she's lied to me my entire life?" I feel Mason's hand rest against my thigh with a reassuring squeeze. "I get that she did it to protect me, but she could have at least told me the truth. We could have both kept it quiet. We both saw how he was changing. We could have left together! If she cared about me as much as she says she does, how could she continue to let us both be around that asshole?"
"Alaina, how often did you get mad at your father?" Mason asks, his voice calm and low. I look back at him in question and shrug my shoulders. Even before he started hurting my mom we didn't always see eye-to-eye on most things, but I didn't really get to say much with his rank in the pack. After he started hurting my mother, I started caring less and less about holding my tongue. Plus, he's an asshole. "That's exactly my point, Red. Your mother couldn't tell you because she knew what would happen if he pushed you too far one night. You could have easily turned around and thrown it in his face that you weren't his daughter. You're a spiteful little thing when you want to be and it would have flown out of your mouth before you thought about the consequences of what you say. Then it would be too late."
He's right.
I sigh and lean back against the seat and close my eyes. "I know," I whisper quietly. "Can we not talk about it right now? So much has changed in the last hour and I'm tired. I just want to go home and lie down in your arms and forget the rest of the world even exists for a little bit," I say with a hopeful look.
"Sure, Red. What would you like to talk about?" he asks as I lace my fingers through his. I stare at our entwined hands, still shocked by the size difference. Sparks shoot up my arm and spread through my entire body. I smile and pull his hand up to my mouth. I press the back of his hand against my lips and hold it there for a few seconds before lowering it back down and looking at him.
"Did you get everything put together to introduce me to the pack? I'd imagine that with the threat of this war and now with my mom showing up, the pack is getting restless about having to protect someone they haven't officially met yet. I just figured you'd want to get it done quickly." He tenses up at my words. My eyebrows fur in confusion as I watch his reaction. We were just talking about introducing me to the pack not long ago. Does he not want to introduce me to them now? Is he ashamed of me and the problems I'm causing?
"I'm not ashamed of you, Alaina! How could you even think that?" he suddenly bursts, causing me to jump at the sound of his voice filling the interior of the car. "That's not what I was thinking at all when you asked me that, Red. I love you, and I want to introduce the pack to their Luna just as we talked about. Everything is already set up to happen in the next few days."
"Then why did you get all tense when I asked if things were already being taken care of?"
He sighs and tightens his hand on the steering wheel, almost as if preparing for an awkward conversation. "The very first time we talked about introducing you to the pack, I wanted us to be mated before that happened. I need to introduce you, and since you're not ready for us to mate yet, it'll have to be done without that. I just don't want anyone to question it because it'll just piss me off. You wear my mark now, so that may just need to be enough for everyone because it's enough for me."
I take a deep breath before saying what I'm really getting at. The nervous feeling filling my stomach is frightening but it's what I want. "What if I told you that I didn't want to wait any longer?" I ask quickly before I lose my nerve. Part of me is scared to see his reaction. I just don't want him to think I'm crazy for wanting to mate with him after all the shit we've had to deal with today. My wolf yips in excitement at the thought of being with our mate. She's wanted to complete the bond since we first met Mason, and since Mason marked us, she's been harder and harder to control.
"What do you mean?" he asks carefully. I can hear the hesitation in his voice which causes my nerves to skyrocket. I do my best to keep my breathing steady as my mind wanders to where this conversation could go from here. "Alaina, I need you to talk to me. What do you mean?" He glances at me briefly before looking back at the road.
"I know this is probably an awful time, but I was just thinking about how my mother and Nate – my father – waited to mate until they were ready. When she was telling us about that it made me think of us and how we're waiting because I wanted to be ready. If they hadn't mated when they did, I wouldn't even be here right now. He died not long after it happened, and with this war knocking on our door, I can't help but worry that the same thing will happen to you." My throat feels thick at the thought of losing him, but I push on. "Mason, I don't want to lose you. I can't. I want to be mated with you before anything else blows up in our faces."
He sits in silence for several seconds, his jaw tightening and untightening as he drives. "I can't accept that, Alaina."
What the hell is that supposed to mean? I stare at him, waiting for him to continue or explain but he keeps quiet. Finally catching onto what he's saying, I pull my hand from his and move closer to the door as I put my mental shield up. He doesn't want me. I'm not sure why I'm so surprised by this after seeing who he's had before. Why would he want me when he can go out and have Nikki again? I'm nothing compared to her. I press even closer to the door when I see him try to reach for me. "Alaina?"
"It's fine, I get it. Just take me home. I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep," I do my best to keep my voice void of all the emotions flooding through me right now. I lean my head against the window and close my eyes. I can't believe he would do this. He said he wouldn't pressure me into something I'm not ready for, and then when I'm finally ready, he turns me down. I guess him not trying to get me to mate with him is just his excuse not to have sex with me at all.
What is it Nikki has that I don't? Why would he sleep with her and not me? He himself said he knew it didn't mean anything with her yet he kept going back. I thought he loved me, he should want to complete this process. His wolf should be pushing him to do so, not pushing me away. I see the house come into view and I've never been more thankful for the sight in my life. I don't want to be around him right now.
Without a word, as soon as he puts the car in park, I'm out of the car and heading towards the door. I hear him cut the engine and climb out but I quicken my steps. Distance. I need distance.
"Alaina!" he yells as I hear his footsteps behind me. I'm not going to stop, but his sudden grip on my arm causes me to halt. I turn my head away from him and look at the door. "Where are you going?" I shrug his hand off my arm and face the door. I can't even look at him right now. My wolf whimpers at the fact that our mate doesn't seem to want us. She doesn't even want to be around him, which lets me know I'm completely in the right to feel this way.
"I told you, I'm tired. I'm going to bed now," I say as I open the door and walk away. I don't turn back to see if he's following after me, but when I get my answer I only make it to the stairs before I'm stopped again. I sigh and do my best to ignore the sparks shooting up my arm from where his hold is on my wrist. I don't turn to look at him, but he pulls my arm enough that my body is turned sideways. I keep my gaze up the stairs, refusing to give in to him. As hurt as I am, if I look at his beautiful face and listen to his excuses for why he said that I'll cave and give in. But I won't do that.
"I have to make some calls, I shouldn't be too long though." I nod before pulling away from his hold and continuing up the stairs. I hear the door to his office open and close as I reach the top. I glance back down and with another shake of my head, move towards the bedroom door. Just as I'm about to open the door to our bedroom, I stop and back away. I don't want to be in there after what happened tonight, I can't be. Embarrassment has taken up a permanent residence within me and I don't want him to come in and hold me like nothing happened. Turning quickly, I go into the guest bedroom across the hall and lock the door behind me. I close my eyes and lean back against the door as I wait for the tears to come.
They never do.
I'm too mad to cry over this.
My wolf growls at the thought of Mason basically rejecting us and then just brushing it off as if nothing happened. Maybe I'm being overdramatic about this, but I can't help that it hurts.
'What are we supposed to do?' I ask my wolf as I slide down the door until my ass is planted firmly on the floor. I bring my knees to my chest and quickly wrap my arms around them.
'It's going to be okay,' she speaks gently. We are both so confused right now and neither of us knows what to do. 'Just keep our distance from mate tonight. We need time,' she says before slipping into the back of my mind. Just as I'm about to get up and get on the bed, I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I stiffen as I wait for his reaction when he realizes I'm not in the room.
The door to our room opens quietly and I can hear him moving around searching for me. "Alaina?" he calls into the hallway. I can feel the worry flowing off him, but I remain silent. He'll find me in no time, especially with me sitting by the door. His footsteps stop right in front of the door I'm behind and his scent fills my senses. I quickly check to make sure the door is locked just as he grabs the door handle and tries to open the door. "Alaina, open the door. What are you doing in the guest room?" He wiggles the doorknob again and knocks softly on the wood.
I close my eyes and bite down on my lip to stay quiet. His fist starts pounding harder against the door when I refuse to answer him. He knows I'm in here. If my scent coming from this room wasn't enough to figure that out, the locked door is. "Alaina, open this door now!" I can tell he's trying to control himself right now. "Open it, or I won't have any other choice than to open it myself!" I don't know if he's serious or not, but I'm also not about to risk it either.
Standing up quickly, I dash to the other side of the bed and hide down beside it. If he wants in here that badly, then he's going to have to destroy the door for it because I'm damn sure not helping him. I don't know why I thought I'd get away with staying in here. I should have known he'd never just ignore me not being in that bed with him. "Fine," he growls just before the door busts off the hinges. I jump at the loud sound and quickly duck my head down by the bed just as a shard of wood flies over my head.
I don't even bother turning to look at him as he storms into the room and straight towards me. I can't do this right now. I just wanted some distance. I can't handle his rejection after everything else that happened today. I just wanted to be close to him, as close as I could ever get, and he didn't want the same thing. That's something I'll have to learn to live with. Suddenly, his feet are in front of me and I'm being lifted off the ground. He sets me on my feet but keeps me in his hold as if he's scared I'm going to bolt.
"Why the hell are you hiding from me? What's wrong?" he asks sternly. I refuse to even look him in the eye. "Alaina, talk to me. What did I do, Red?" he asks, reaching up to cup my cheek in his hand. I can't move away fast enough and the sparks radiate throughout my body, making me want to lean into his touch. I know it's wrong right now, but the pull is so strong between us. He flat-out told me that he didn't want to mate with me, and now here he is asking what he did wrong.
"I want to be alone," I tell him, hiding all emotions from my voice. I keep the block up in my mind but I can feel him trying to push past. He pulls his hand away from my face and just stares at me like I've grown another head. "Plus, I'm really tired from shopping today and I would just like to get some rest."
"Then sleep in our bed like you should be, with me. You just told me in the car that you wanted me to hold you tonight. I've already finished making the calls I needed to make. What happened?" he pleads. When I finally lift my eyes to look at him, I can see the hurt in his eyes from my detached behavior. I hate that I'm causing him this pain, but I don't know how else I'm supposed to be acting right now. Am I supposed to just take him not wanting to sleep with me like it's nothing and then just carry on with my life? I can't just do that.
"I can't sleep in there with you," I manage to say past the lump in my throat. Part of me is hoping that he doesn't hear it. The bigger part of me if I'm being honest.
"Why can't you sleep in there with me? Alaina, what did I do?" he asks frantically as he takes my face in his hands. I can feel a single tear roll down my face. I don't want to fight with him. I want to sleep in his arms, but I can't get the fact that he turned down mating with me for some reason out of my head. Does he not want me? Does he still want Nikki? I can't just overlook the embarrassment coursing through me right now.
"Mason, answer me this," I start. His eyes brighten at my words. "Do you ever wish that I was Nikki? That she was your mate?" I ask as I involuntarily lean into his hand slightly. I want to move away, but his touch is still comforting to me.
"Why the hell would you ask me that?" he scoffs and lowers his hands from my face. He has a hard look on his face like he's offended and doesn't know where I'm going with this conversation. "What the fuck is going on, Alaina? You yourself said you didn't want to talk about Nikki, yet here you are asking me about her? What. The. Fuck?"
"You slept with Nikki, multiple times over the years you two were seeing each other, right?" I ask. It hurts to talk about his past with her, but it hurts even more thinking that she may be who he wants instead of me. God, if he were to say that I would lose it right here in this room.
"Alaina, I don't want to talk about Nikki. I want to know why you're acting so cold towards me right now! Did I do something wrong?" I move away from him, unable to stop the glare I shoot in his direction. His eyes widen at my sudden movement and he makes no move to approach me. He doesn't even realize what he's done tonight. How could you reject your mate and not even understand the hurt that would follow that?
"What's wrong with me? Huh? What is so much better about that bitch instead of your own mate, Mason?" I yell as I start pacing by the bed. He stays where he is, just watching me. "Why will you sleep with her, someone who isn't even supposed to matter to, someone you said you'd walk away from as soon as you found your mate, but you won't sleep with me?" I stop pacing and turn my back to him. I can't look at him right now. I'm mad but being mad is the only thing keeping my tears at bay right now. Wrapping my arms around myself, I just wait for his answer.
"Is that what all of this is about?" he asks softly as he turns me back around to face him. Not knowing what he's going to say, I keep my head down to avoid eye contact. I can't look into those beautiful eyes and not get sucked in. "Alaina, what happened between Nikki and I is over. Done. Okay?" I nod my head, but I can't bring myself to say anything. "Are you upset because I said I wouldn't mate with you tonight? Is that what this is?" Again, I nod. "I didn't mean it to seem like I didn't want to. God knows that's all I've been thinking about since I saw you in the woods. After your mother's story, I understand that you're scared of losing me, but I'm not going anywhere. Alaina, if I thought you were really ready to have sex with me and complete the bond then we wouldn't be having this discussion. I don't want you to regret doing this, and then resent me because I didn't stop it. You said you wanted to take your time, so we can take our time. You wear my mark now, that's enough for me."
He didn't get it.
"Mason, it's not just because of my mother. It's all of this. I want to be one with you. Complete. When you said that in the car, I thought you meant you didn't want me… like I wasn't good enough or there was something wrong with me. You slept with Nikki so easily, and then you said you wouldn't accept that I wanted you to sleep with me. What was I supposed to think?" I finally look up at him as tears fill my eyes. His eyes are full of regret.
"I didn't mean it like that at all, I swear. I love you. You're mine, now and forever, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you." He takes a deep breath and looks away for a second as if he's trying to find the right words for this. "When I slept with Nikki, it was easy because it didn't mean anything. It's beyond different with you. I don't want to do this and then have you wake up in the morning and realize it was all because you were scared." He leans forward until his forehead is resting against mine as he continues speaking, "If you really want to do this… if you're ready, then we can. But only if you're absolutely certain. I won't have you hating me because this is something you think you have to do for me. It's not at all. I want nothing more than to complete this bond and be one with you, but it's all on your terms." He watches me quietly as I take in his words.
His words bring up some serious concerns within me. I think I'm ready, but am I really? Or is this all because I think it's something he needs before this huge war breaks out and all of our lives are put in danger because of me?
I look at him one last time before resting my head against his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist. Am I really ready to complete this bond with him? Once it's done, there is no going back for me… but I would never hate or blame him. I won't regret it either because I love him. He loves me and even if we haven't known each other that long, he's been better with me than most males would be. I don't know when I made my decision during my internal rant, but I quickly pull away and look into his eyes. I wanted to wait before we did this, but he's my one and only and I don't want to wait any longer.
"I'm ready," I speak strongly as I stare into his eyes. This is what I want, what we both want. It's time to complete the bond with my mate. "Mason, I'm ready."
He stares at me for several seconds before I see the shift in his eyes. He bends down enough and wraps his hands under my thighs and picks me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and run my nose along the length of his as I squeeze. His eyes never leave mine as he turns and walks us to our bedroom. My stomach is in knots, but it's more from excitement than anything else. I lean forward just enough to brush my lips against his just as we topple over onto the bed.
"You're sure about this?" he asks one more time as he moves the red strands from my face.
"I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life, Mason," I whisper just before his lips press down on mine once again.