Chapter two - Helpless
"His parents are rich and respected, but Azzam instead chooses to find his own job in the city. That means he is an independent child and does not depend on his parents. Don't you want to have a husband like that?"
"Mom, I don't want to get married yet. I still want to please Mama and Papa first," I said desperately.
I can't speak in a high pitched voice. Mama sighed disappointedly at me, she continued to look at me with a look that could not be interpreted what she meant.
"I hope you will fulfill Mama's request, Ra. Mama wants Mama's children to be happy. That's all."
"I know, Ma, but you don't have to marry Azzam, do you, Ma?" I'm still trying to defend my decision.
Mama's face changed, as if she was holding back her sadness. This is not good, I am afraid that his health will decline again. However, I have to move on with my decision. Getting married is no joke, I hope it's only once in a lifetime. That's the reason why until now I'm not married. Never mind getting married, just dating I can be counted on the fingers.
"Mama hopes that you will accept the match, Ra! Mama ...." Mama stopped talking, then held her chest with a pale face.
It's not good, I'm afraid the disease will come back. I finally gave in for Mama's health. I quickly hugged Mama while whispering something that made Mama smile. Then Mama contacted Papa who was working in the office.
"Pa, Clara has agreed. Papa quickly inform Mas Setyo, okay!" Mama said with a perfect smile.
I couldn't help but sigh, it seems like that's all I can do right now. Give up, for Mama's healing. Eventually I became a member of the Siti Nurbaya community which I hated so much, but I'm helpless.
***
Finally, the day that Mama and Papa had been waiting for arrived. Since morning I have been dressed like a princess in my room.
"Smile please, Ma'am. Don't keep frowning. Honey, you know, the make-up. I choose this good one, you know!" persuaded the bridal makeup artist who I didn't want to call Mas.
Even though the lump on his neck clearly showed that he was a man. His voice was also deliberately soft, but instead it sounded like a mouse squeezing a door.
"Mas, uh, sorry. Have you ever been forced into marriage yet? If you haven't, just shut up. I don't need advice!" I said fiercely.
"Idih, very fierce, Ma'am. If you don't want it, why don't you just refuse. Or you can run away, like in those soap operas?"
"Ugh, I told you to shut up. You don't know anything! Never mind, just stop. I don't want to do any more makeup!" I said getting annoyed. I stood up to go out of the room. However, the makeup artist grabbed my hand so I couldn't leave her.
"Oops! Sorry, Ma'am. Don't be angry, I'm just trying to cheer you up. I'm sorry! Here, the eyebrows are tilted, you know!" he persuaded again. Taking a deep breath, I obeyed his words. I sat back in my chair again.
"I'm sorry, yes, Mbak. I just want to familiarize myself," he said as he continued to apply makeup.
I just smiled at his response. Before long, he had finished his work. With a satisfied smile he complimented the beauty of my face. I looked at myself in disbelief in the mirror in front of me. The makeup is pretty good too, I thought. Half an hour later, Mas Azzam's family group arrived at my house. My family did the preparations for the wedding ceremony.
Meanwhile I was only told to wait in the room until it was time to come out later. Faintly I heard Mas Azzam's voice saying it firmly which was greeted with legal words from the witness and my family. I can only look down sadly, now I have become the wife of Mas Azzam. I don't know what kind of household I will live in later, only time will tell.
"Come on, Ma'am. We're going forward, everyone can't wait for Ma'am to come out," said my makeup artist with a big smile.
I followed his steps to the front room where the wedding ceremony was taking place. Like a robot I follow all the events that have been designed by my parents. I must show a happy face and friendly smile during the event. It wasn't until six o'clock in the afternoon that I was able to take off all the masks of pretense that had been making my chest feel tight since this afternoon.
One by one, I removed the decorations attached to my body. Mas Azzam has not been seen since entering the room earlier. Maybe he's still with his family or friends in the hall. I don't know, I don't care where he wants to be
After taking a shower and changing clothes, I left the room. My stomach feels hungry because since this afternoon not a single grain of rice has entered my stomach. The atmosphere outside the room is still crowded with relatives and families who are busy with their respective activities. I walked slowly towards the kitchen.
"Clara, where are you going?" asked one of my cousins.
"To the mall," I answered simply.
Hearing my answer earlier, he was about to protest. However, I immediately left him, the worms in my stomach were already screaming for food.
"Bik, I'm hungry," I said to the Aunt who was busy arranging tableware in the kitchen.
"Oala, the bride is hungry. Just a moment, Non," said the Aunt. In an instant, a plate of rice complete with side dishes and sahur was available in front of me.
"Thank you, Bi," I said, devouring the food that was served in front of me.
"Why, Clara! What are you doing here?" asked my mother who had just emerged from her room.
To be continued