The three of us spent the next two months blissfully happy. I was relieved that nothing had changed between the three of us. And I tried hard not to think about what happened between Damian and me. But that was until Rai needed to go back to the US.
“Can you not go back, Rai?” I asked him the night before his departure.
“I can’t, Princess. I need to take care of some businesses there.” He pulled me close to him.
“But I’ll miss you.” I sighed in his embrace.
“I know, Princess. I’ll miss you too.” He caressed my cheek.
“Damian’s still going to be here, though; you can hang out with him. And with Leah too.” He suggested.
“It won’t be the same, Rai, and you know it,” I said softly.
“I know, Princess. I’ll come back to you as soon as I can. I promise.” He said reassuringly.
“Rai, can I ask you a question?” My fingers traced the scar he had from the letter opener.
“Sure, Princess. You can ask me anything.” He pulled me closer.
“Why do you let Damian touch me? I mean, you will be mad if any other guy touches me, but not Damian. Why is it?” I questioned him.
I waited for his answer, but he didn't utter any words.
I pulled back slightly to look at him. “Rai?”
Rai just looked back at me. I saw something in his eyes, but I couldn't quite tell what it was, and he just pulled me back closer to him.
“Because I know that he will protect you no matter what, Princess. If you don't want him to touch you, just tell him so.” He said softly, his hand caressing my back.
“Hmm..” I sighed as I felt his warmth enveloping me.
“What about the marks on his chest, Rai? Do you know about that?” I asked him, still trailing my fingers on his scar.
“You saw his scars?” Rai asked.
“Yeah.. I saw it when you guys were washing the car.” I simply said.
“What happened to him?” I asked him again.
“Hmm.. That would be his ex-girlfriend.” Rai said.
“Was he abused by his ex-girlfriend?” I was shocked that my hand stopped tracing his scar.
“You’ll have to ask him, Princess. I don’t think he’ll want me telling you his story.” Rai pulled me even closer to his body as his hand caressed my back.
“Hmm..” I mumbled again.
“Rai.. Damian..” I started saying, wanting to tell him what happened between Damian and me.
“Yes? What about him, Princess?” Rai asked me.
I shook my head, not brave enough to tell him what happened.
“Why do you call me ‘Princess’, Rai?” I asked him another question, a question that had been on my mind ever since he called me that.
“Do you not want me to call you ‘Princess’?” His hand stopped caressing me.
“No, I like it. Just wondering. No one’s ever called me ‘Princess’ before.” I smiled at him, letting him know that I did love being called 'Princess' by him.
“Well.. I’m glad I’m the first.” He flashed me his boyish smile.
I laughed but asked him again, “So, why?”
“Cause you looked like a princess the first time I called you ‘Princess’. Remember when?” He asked. I could tell he had a smile on his face.
“Yeah. When I was trying on the dress.” I could feel myself being transported back to the time, the time when he first called me 'Princess'. It was a memory I wouldn't forget.
“But I wasn’t wearing any fancy make-up that day. How could I look like a princess? I can understand if you called me that when I was already all dolled up for the party, but not when I was just trying on the dress.” I pulled back again and looked at him.
“That’s right. You looked like a princess when I saw you that time. I don’t really care if you are wearing make-up or not; you are still my princess. You are beautiful either way. Like now.” He smiled that soft smile of his. He gazed at me, and I could feel his deep love for me.
We made sweet, tender love that night.
The next day, he went back to the US.
***
The first few days without Rai were hard. I missed him like crazy. Even though we still chatted and had video calls, it wasn't the same with him being here.
I spent as much time with Damian and Leah as possible because I was lonely. And I still slept in Rai’s room, just to feel him.
I became closer to Damian. I knew more about him now that I actually spent time with him, just the two of us. Rai was okay with me being with Damian, as I’ve asked him about it through our chats.
Damian knew more about me too. Sometimes it scared me how easy it was to talk to him. I told him things that I didn’t even tell Rai.
Don’t get me wrong, I told Rai everything, but some topics I just summarized. With Damian, it was a different story. I told him the details of every topic he asked about. I never planned to tell him, but they just came out of my mouth without realizing it.
Damian became even gentler with me. He still joked around, but he really never let me go. His arm was always around me whenever we were together. He touched me softly, sometimes playing with my hair, other times caressing and kissing my cheek or forehead. Just some little touches that lasted for only a while. He even started calling me ‘Baby girl’ but never touched me inappropriately. I felt comforted when he did all that; sometimes, I felt not as lonely.
Being with Damian was different than being with Rai, especially with Leah around. Rai was gentle and sweet, though he joked around too, but he was mainly a romantic guy. Damian was more flirtatious; I laughed more with him than when I was with Rai. We did have fights too, but they didn’t last long. He knew how to melt me.
Leah was always with us. It did feel as if we were one happy family. I could see that Damian loved Leah more and more. Looking at them together made me want to have kids, just like before. The only difference was, whenever I thought of how great it was to have kids with Damian, I always brushed that thought away because I was Rai’s.
There was a time while I was looking at Damian playing with Leah that I felt something in my heart, a warm feeling that kept getting stronger with each passing day I spent with him.
“Damian..” I started telling him.
“Yeah, Baby girl?” He asked as he laughed while playing with Leah. His gaze was fixed on Leah.
“I love you..” I whispered ever so softly. I clasped my hands over my mouth as soon as the words slipped out.
“What was it, Baby girl?” He asked as he looked at me.
I calmed myself down and smiled softly as I shook my head. I was stunned by my own words, by my feelings. I brushed it away by telling myself that I loved him in a friendly and sisterly way. And I blamed it on Leah. They looked too adorable together; it wasn’t good for my heart. Having Leah with us really was dangerous, I thought to myself.