Evelyn has always been a nice girl. She always puts others' needs in front of her. Always give importance to others more than her. She always had that hope inside her, that everything will be alright. She trusted people easily.
She had heard people praising her about how sweet and loving she was
But now she felt lost and broken. All she felt was sadness. Sorrow was crawling her heart like how darkness crept the sky after sunset . Everything came to a full stop for her. She didn't know what to do. Guilt , hatred, regret dragged her into an endless loop.
She would still feel the needles that penetrated her heart, the feeling she felt just like the night she saw her boyfriend cheating, just like the night she heard the news about the loss of her father. All she did was wake up - college - part time job - sleep. This became her daily cycle she didn't realize she was doing it absent minded
But she went to her mothers room, she had never went to that room, it was her first time she went there. She sat in the bed there for a long time. Crying. Laughing. She doesn't even know what she was doing.
She saw her mother's glass kept in side of a table. The lens of the glass was covered in dust, she took it and wiped it using her tshirt. She opened the drawer to keep the glass safe. She saw a letter in the drawer. 'To dear eve' was written in front.
As she took and read, she felt a warm sensation creeping inside her heart, like the first sunray that hit the earth after a long night bringing hope and a spark to life. The letter was written like she knew something like this would happen someday.
She determined that day that she was gonna change. Not for others but for her. She wanted to feel hope, a spark for life, she wanted to get away from this endless loop of sorrow and regret.
So she became a baddie like everyone says now. She started to live for herself not for others. She could stand for herself. She could no longer tolerate people who put down on her. She would say what she had to say. She became stubborn.
Her appearance and attitude give her confidence. People don't know if the confidence was real or fake.
Even Though she changed, there were parts for her that still hurt. Parts of her that she was running away.
The tears that she suppressed turned into anger that changed into range. That range made her change herself, but after a long run the range turned into numbness.
She was emotionless. Now all she felt was numbness. It was like she was a living dead body. She only felt alive when she worked, when she discovered new things about space, stars and planets. Other than her everything was numb. She felt emotionless
Her eyes were dead with no life in them. There was no spark in her eyes as Aaron always said to her.
To avoid that numbness, she mostly engaged herself in her work. When she felt really sad, she would go to watch the sky, as it smoothened her emotions.
Will she ever get over this numbness she always thought about it.