Finally, I had finished the newest portion of the story. For the rest of my time, I decided to stay on the beach until somebody would call out to me. It was a peaceful time having been rewarded with the sight of the blue crystalline ocean and to regain the sensation of the smooth sand engulfing my feet after a long session of thinking and writing.
"There you are!" Elizabeth exclaimed behind me and tackled me on the ground, "You had me worried since you disappeared. Have you eaten anything yet?" Her worrisome voice became something to delight in.
"Not so, I was hypnotized by the ocean and it led me here." I told her truthfully.
"Well, you mustn't always make it a habit to skip breakfast so that you may see the ocean. Come now, I know of a great café nearby that I would want you to try." She said as she dragged me by the arm.
Her strong-headed and witty behavior never cease to amaze me. The more time I spend with her, the more inspired I become to live and write. Deep within me, I pray that she will always continue to be my sunlight that pierces the gloomy rain clouds.
We arrived at a small café that did not have as many customers as I thought it would. The aroma was pleasant and we both sat down to review the menu. For the rest of our morning together, we spent the entirety of it inside this very café drifting our minds away from reality and into our long conversation.
She asked what I was doing on the beach before she arrived and I revealed to her the draft that I had worked on. She whined again about how sad it was and begged me to write at a happy ending next time.
"Why is it that you must write off the people who are closest to the protagonist? The way you write makes me worry that you might write me off of your life." She said such depressing words in a joking manner.
"You have no need to worry about it at all, Elizabeth, besides, I do believe that death is something that the protagonist can learn from." As I finished my words, Elizabeth called one of the café's staff to write down our orders.
"Don't you think that might come across a bit too cruel? Since she has no one now, your lone protagonist has completely lost sight of her goal." The further she spoke, it seemed that genuine concern did well up within her eyes.
"Well, I think it is necessary that she loses sight of her goal. In order for her to learn discipline, she must learn to never let her own desires and goals consume her as she pursues them." I tried to explain these things in a way that could comfort her slightly.
"Do you think that could apply to us, Alastair?" Elizabeth asked suddenly that the question had put me off guard.
"What do you mean?" I asked with anxiety consuming me as well.
"If it is true that to pursue the callings of the heart will require the sacrifice of those around us and if it also works the other way around, I wonder what would happen to us being that you are my desire." She said her words with such flattery.
"Well, I think the answer may come down to whether it is love that moves you or a higher form of greed has put you in a trance."
"I wouldn't argue with my desires as long as it doesn't make me feel guilty about it." The way she spoke reminded me of what I had written. It was peculiar at first, but maybe she might have been joking with me.
"I think that you might be missing the point from what I wrote, Elizabeth. The main theme of it was to combat the desires and callings of the heart." I explained to her.
"I understand, Alastair, but I find it hard to believe that there should be a need for fighting such things. It wouldn't even matter to me at all if I became a slave to my own heart."
"But what if it also demands the sacrifice of those close to you?"
"Then I have no choice but to comply. What about you, Alastair, if you truly deny what your heart demands of you, then to what or whose calling do you heed?" Elizabeth's tone was fueled with a subtle amount of anger.
In my place, I had nothing to defend myself against her valid argument. We both sat quietly until we had been given our drinks. I thought it would be best to put our small argument away before it could get any worse, but it seems that the silence between us had no effect in drowning our problems.
"To answer your question." I spoke after taking a sip of my tea, "I believe that if we were to deny loyalty to our hearts, it would mean that we must put our allegiance into something else, most likely something that is spiritual in nature."
"Like the idea of God?" She was baffled by my response.
"Maybe so, Elizabeth, for if we can not trust anything in this material world and our hearts, then who must we give our trust to?"
"In that case, I do not know of any other thing to rest my will upon; for I am already perfectly fine with following the commands of my heart since it has led me to you."
"Despite your flattering statements, I sometimes worry how your heart may be deceiving you. What would happen if I were to show you the parts of me that I deemed irredeemable of me to you? Would you still accept me as a man then?" the aroma of coffee and the indiscernible chatter of people were soon flushed out of my mind as all of my focus was placed within this moment.
"Of course, there is no need for you to be such a worrywart, Alastair. Even though we have quarreled, I still love you and accept you as you are." Her words were heard louder to me than the noises of the world.
It felt reassuring to know that the both of us have not separated easily from conflict. As we finished our tea, the real breakfast course of bread and fanciful wine came and we happily dined. Once we finished, Elizabeth told me that I musn't focus on my works during our time here in Ville de l'envie. It did feel like a short break from my work was much needed, and now, I have Elizabeth to thank for that. With the draft left in Elizabeth's room, the both of us spent the entire day exploring the entirety of Ville de l'envie and forgetting all of our duties and responsibilities.
The first place I was brought to was located at the edge of the town. Upon arriving, at the border we walked along the wall until we came across a small crack whose lower half had been covered by bushes. Elizabeth moved two bushes away from each other and revealed a hole that was big enough for both of us to go through. She went through the hole first, then she extended her hand and signaled me to come through as well. I followed her in childish excitement with the hopes that she might have kept some sort of secret treasure outside of town. The outside was filled with the rich flora of the forest and the crashing sounds of the ocean as it beats against the rocky shore. The path that Elizabeth continued to guide me on was quite dangerous, being as it was a smooth and wet surface that could make us slip at any moment. Fortunately, we walked through it without having any one of us falling off the edge. At the end of the path, a vast ravine was laid before us. Its height was something to fear and its walls were decorated with the roots of trees, nests of various birds, and hanging flowers that seemed to have grown.
There was a slope to the right side of us that led down into the ravine. Elizabeth slowly moved upon that slope until she grabbed hold of a root. She continued to traverse along the dangerous wall until she seemingly disappeared under my feet.
"Come on now! It's not as frightening as you think!" Shouted Elizabeth as she begged me to follow her. Even though the normal response from any other human would be to decline and run away, my body had urged me to follow her.
One small step at a time, I did my very best to emulate the same process she had done. I successfully grabbed the first root, then moved my right foot off the slope to find proper footing along the rock wall. Once I placed my left hand on the same root I was holding on to, the root snapped and I began to fall to my demise. Elizabeth snatched my hand as soon as she could to save me. Both of us managed to get me up safe and sound onto the ledge Elizabeth came into.
"Welcome to my childhood fortress, or as I used to call it, 'The Elizabethan palace'. I can't believe that some of this place still remains intact." Elizabeth explained the peculiarly decorated space inside of the ravine's wall. There were small bags filled with spoiled food, toys, and books. Upon the walls were colored drawings that retained some of their original shapes.
"How majestic, when did you come across this place?" I asked jokingly.
"During the time where I was at least nine years old, I discovered this place when I decided to run away from home." She said as she sat down laying her back against the wall.
"Oh? I take it that your venture didn't last long?" I jokingly said.
"It only lasted a day because I obviously didn't know how to survive in the wilderness all by my lonesome." She said as she held a spoiled apple within her hand.
"Why did you run away in the first place?" I asked.
"If I recall properly, it was because I got in trouble with my academics and I thought it would be best that I ran away from my home so that I may not have to bother them with my failures."
"I didn't know that the previous you was such a pessimist."
"I know" she chuckled, "It's hard to believe I was also so selfish that I confused my self-serving actions as an act of love."
"Well, a lot of people often construct many meanings as to what love is and many of those constructs have failed to capture its meaning."
"Then why not we at least make our own meaning to love, one where we both promise from the bottom of our hearts to never shoulder the burdens of life individually but together?" Elizabeth asked as if it was a proposal to marriage.
"I'm glad you feel that way, Elizabeth. Come to think of it, what is it that makes you love me?" My head leaned closer to hers as I asked.
"For one, you used to be the kind of person I could wrap my fingers around. The way you used to be so confined from the world and how privy you were with your work was something that proved to be quite 'cute' to me. Another reason would be that you used to act clingy to me at times. Oh, how I missed those days." She answered and the only feeling I could muster up was confusion.
"Used to?" I asked.
"Yes, I remember those days in Greenberg where you would cry over certain things and would come to me for comfort. The very idea of having you in the palm of my hand would always make my heart flutter." Her choice of words was slightly concerning but then again, she must be joking, right?
"What would happen if I were to leave your grasp?" I slowly grabbed her hand and locked it with my fingers.
"Well, I would go absolutely mad obviously." She tightened her grip around my hand as she answered, "Knowing how much you've changed recently, I might as well put you on a leash." As always, she would smile and laugh after making such a remark but there was something devilish with the way she looked at me.
Putting the conversation away, I gathered her attention to our exit strategy. Fortunately, she already knew of an alternative route that would be downwards into the harrowing ravine. The process of climbing down the ravine was not as terrifying as I thought it would be but the most frustrating part of descending was the rocks that continually demanded a great amount of grip strength from us. The moment that we arrived upon the solid ground was filled with the joyous shouts of mine as I missed the cold floor dearly. For the route back home, Elizabeth guided me throughout the rocky shore which required more energy than the climbing did.
"By the way, what are your siblings' occupations? I wonder how they were able to maintain the family house." I asked Elizabeth as we walked and eventually, I stumbled the moment I finished asking.
"Oh, Gabriel and Anais both hold responsibility and direct ownership over the family business. I was the only one that left in order to find our parents but there are times where they would send me letters to give me an errand." Elizabeth spoke in a gradually grim tone but switched back to a cheerful voice, "How about you? Do you have any siblings you wish to tell me about?" She asked with a smile.
"None whatsoever, but if I did, I'm very sure that we would be not as fond of each other as you are with your siblings." I replied.
"How so?" She asked with a slightly worried tone.
"I ran away from home as well, but unlike you, I left after I was granted revenue from my first book." To open up about my past was a miserable thing for me but to have Elizabeth listen to me made me feel like my burdens would be taken off of my shoulders.
"Do you mind if I ask about your childhood days?" Elizabeth asked but I turned her down in an instant. Though I would have confided within her, the past is a depressing weight I could never shake off.
I already knew what we promised back there in the ravine. We promised to always share the burden yet here I am now, hiding my flaws and experiences from her. Why is it that we always fail to know what love truly is? Rather than working together to discover its meaning, I have seen so many people act complacent with it and just let it be as a phenomenon that cannot be explained or say that "love is love" which makes no utter sense whatsoever. My thoughts and feelings did not make sense as well but I knew for as long as something exists within this world, there is a meaning for it as there is a name to it.
Changing the subject, we continued to talk of more jovial things as we returned. Throughout our time together, we spent the next few weeks exploring the hidden details of the town and dined together in many restaurants. Of course, Gabriel and Anais were kind enough to pay for our tabs if I recall properly.
As of now, it is the night before our trip back to Greenberg. Everyone had already finished dinner and we all prepared our nightly attire to go to bed. I laid out my pillow on the ground, preparing to sleep one last time on the cold, hardwood floors until Elizabeth came into the room clothed in a robe and had wet hair.
"Alastair, you and I both agree to share our burdens and our blessings together in this life, correct?" Elizabeth asked.
"Of course, Elizabeth, is there something that troubles you?" I grew concerned with her question.
"There is only one thing I think that we may be lacking." She almost faltered in her speech, "I think that it may be the proper time for us to share our bodies." Her statement brought quite a shock to me for this was the first time I was given this opportunity to share my body with hers.
"Of course" I answered, "but are there any prerequisites before we start? I am completely inexperienced in this area." I asked passionately for my love for her consumed me so.
"Traditionally, it is required for both parties to cleanse their whole bodies and brush off whatever filth may still be present within them. It has been said that to clean your body is to remove any impurities as if you were removing dirt from a diamond." She explained the process I must accomplish first.
Obviously, I was overjoyed to be granted this offer from my partner that I gladly went down the stairs to find the bathing room. Within the bathing room, as the water poured down my body, my fear grew as much as my excitement did. The idea of both me and Elizabeth becoming one tonight threatened my previously ideal, lonely, and quiet life. My vision for the future became unclear as if it was covered by mist, but as long as I know that the future will have Elizabeth in it, I feel as if I can face this fear with all my might. My thoughts and feelings all came together in Elizabeth's name and all of them sang praises about her pure heart and mind. I grabbed my towel as soon as I finished and hastily returned to our room.
Upon entering, Elizabeth was seen sitting by the bedside and was facing the wall opposite the door. She turned around and her face was suddenly made sparkling by the moonlight that crept through the window. I revealed my body first then she soon unveiled hers as well. Even as the parts that she hid from society were shown, she was still the pinnacle of beauty to my eyes. We came closer at the foot of the bed so that we may see our faces better under the moonlight.
"I pray that you might find my body well." Elizabeth said as her cheeks turned into a pinkish color.
"Elizabeth, it has been my vow to love and to cherish every single part of you," I said as I laid her down onto the bed, "Even the parts you hide from the public eye." To prove my love for her, I kissed the parts she felt so insecurely about, both parts that belonged to the upper region of her body.
The moonlight continued to shine even more upon her naked body. Her face contained an expression that was like a mix of both pleasure and fear.
"What is it that worries you, my love?" I asked before I could even explore more of her body.
"It's nothing, Alastair. I'm just overflowing with happiness to have you all to myself forever." Elizabeth said and up from the bed, she lifted her head to capture me with a kiss.
Her lips and tongue mixed with mine and slowly, both our hands united upon the bed with our fingers locked. Sadness, anger, and all that was related to those two had disappeared from our minds to make way for the love we shared. Once our mouths disconnected to gasp for air, Elizabeth grasped the opportunity to turn me over making her the one on top and me to be the one sinking into the mattress. Her eyes of powerful desire penetrated mine and her insatiable sensual appetite was clearly known unto me.
"Are you sure you are all right?" I whispered to her face whilst she stared me down with lustful eyes.
"Why wouldn't I be?" She whispered into my ear and leaned closer unto my body but eventually, I lifted her up from our hands into a seated position to talk to her more coherently.
"Tell me, Elizabeth, what made you think we should be doing this in this very night?" Throwing away what could have been a beautiful night, I wanted to know what motivated her to do this.
"Because I love you, obviously. Why are we even wasting our time with this much questioning?" She attempted to return to our pleasurable time together but I remained adamant.
"The truth, Elizabeth." I finally returned her powerful gaze with my own as I spoke.
"What more can I even say?" Tears began to well up within her eyes, "I'm scared of losing you and I've hopelessly fallen for you, is that not enough for you?" Her sadness turned to anger as she spoke and even pinned me back down onto the mattress.
I looked at her in silence with my lonely eye. My idle response made her infuriated but she still refused to let me go. Our thoughts were no longer intertwined nor were our hearts close to each other.
"Fine, keep your mouth shut as you please." Both her anger and lust fully manifested within her as she spoke, "You know deep within you that you are nothing without me. You are nothing but a measly writer who could barely live up to his passion. If anything, you are my property and mine alone, so please, obey your master." Her harsh words were accompanied by cruel strikes against my skin.
From the embrace of love to the pains of outrageous desire, The way she would dash her hands against my body left its mark and a few bleeding lines as her nails began tearing through my flesh. Consistently, she would shout the same question at my face being: "Why won't you love me?". There were no words required to tell her of the lies we so pretentiously and happily indulged ourselves in. Elizabeth sat atop of my belly, no longer craving for the union of our bodies, and proceeded to wrap her hands around my throat.
"Say it." She commanded me, "Tell me that you love me and how much you desire me, Alastair. I. Love. You. Just three simple words, please, I want to hear your voice again." From her fiery eyes there came her sorrowful tears.
Her head lowered down unto mine until our foreheads made contact. Her mood shifted so suddenly that even I was surprised at the development. I carefully lowered her body onto the mattress alongside me and covered her with the blanket.
"I'm scared." She cried, "Scared of losing you the same way I lost my parents. I want to kiss you, hold you, and never let the world touch you ever again. I'm sorry, Alastair, but I want you all to myself." She had finally confessed her true feelings.
"I cannot guarantee that I will live as long as you nor do I know for certain if I am to stay by your side forever." I finally spoke as I wiped her tears away from her soft and pink face.
"At the very least, I want to leave a mark with you if you aren't willing to share our bodies." Gradually, her sanity returned the further she spoke.
I agreed with her decision and leaned in closer to her. Sinking my lips and teeth upon the base of her neck as she did the same to mine, the small pains of the moment subsided as we delved deeper into pleasure and each other's flesh. Our naked bodies collided yet remained separate from each other. Tender hearts were united in spirit as the warmth of our souls came to meet. Deeper into the night, our hands intertwined atop of our heads, and her leg was placed over mine to prevent me from leaving. Within such a small time, there came a year's supply of memories for both of us.
As we let go of our flesh, we gasped for air and witnessed the appearance of a mark from where we sank our teeth into. Though our love could have fully blossomed within this moment, we both knew that we were underprepared and way too flawed to even comprehend the idea of a future together.
"I think it's best that I leave, Elizabeth." Suddenly, I said to break the lovely silence between us, "I've been infected with the same fear you hold and it may be for our benefit if we keep our distance for a certain time." I told her and obviously, she protested against the idea.
"You know I would never allow that, but then again, I've treated you so horribly moments ago. You can leave whenever you want, Alastair." Though she allowed me to leave, her hand still held unto mine.
I had already decided that tonight will be my final night with her and let myself sink into slumber with Elizabeth beside me.
The night soon faded away and from the eastern horizon came the sun. It was now the day for us to depart from Ville de l'envie. Upon getting off the bed, Elizabeth was still asleep wearing an innocent face. I followed through with my declaration and packed my things back into my case. Just before I left her silent and beautiful room, I glanced one last time at her silent beauty and whispered to myself a promise where the both of us will find each other again but as better people. As I approached the front door of the house, Anais and Gabriel paused me in my actions to ask where I was going. I lied to them that Elizabeth said I could go on ahead and further explore the town before we left and they believed me easily.
In the outside world, I felt the presence of discontent engulf my heart but I tried my very best to shake it off by committing all of my focus on finding a proper carriage to leave. Fortunately, I did secure one and left Ville de L'envie without saying my goodbyes to Elizabeth. I may have felt that my actions were quite controversial but deep down both Elizabeth and I knew that this was for the better.