Celeste:
The empty couch reminded me of Saint and how we spent our last day, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. The raw shock of our bond snapping zapped all of my ability to function normally, the blanket covering my head. No joy remained in my life, the only things I did were barely eat, sleep but always bathe. The baths were the only thing that I looked forward to, everyone avoiding me like the plague. All I wanted was for someone to drag me out of this fucking slump. The remote clattered to the ground, an irritated groan escaping my lips. Leaning over to pick it up, the corner of my lips quivered. His favorite snack wrapper glinting in the bright light of the television, my trembling fingers wrapping around it. The crinkling in between my fingers only made me feel worse, the past three weeks passed slower than molasses in the frigid winter. Covering myself back up, a finger poked my shoulders. Not wanting to look, a thunderous growl rumbled in my throat. Maybe I didn't want someone to care, my depression argued with my common sense.
"I am a little busy right now." I snapped bitterly, the blanket flying off of me. "Give that back." Shock rounded out my eyes, Novi's old man watching me with concern rich in his eyes. Tossing the blanket to the other side of the room, he crouched down to my level. A snarl curled on my lips, Novi watched from the door frame. Of course Novi's name had been written all over this silly scheme, the hurt in his eyes digging me further into my crippling depression.
"Novi told me that you weren't doing that great. I heard what happened, and I know how you feel. You are coming with me. I believe that I am getting a stove delivered today." He fretted visibly, my appearance must have been alarming to him. "Then we are going to get some donuts from my favorite place, and go to my favorite hiding spot. You don't get a choice. You haven't talked to anybody for weeks, so we are going to have to drag you out into the sunlight." Turning away from him, Novi's black sweatshirt was my only source of comfort. Grabbing me by my collar, his black t-shirt brushed up against my hands. Carrying me upstairs, my tiny body dangled next to his built muscles. Shoving me into the bathroom, a warm bath already waited patiently for me. Peeling off the sweatshirt, an emerald sweater and black leather skirt hung on the door. Sinking underneath the water, Novi's watery image towered over the tub. His steel gray vest contrasted his white dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A small bit of water splashed over the edge, my golden eyes meeting his. Drops of water shattered the still surface of the bath water, his lips pressed into a thin line. Massaging the shampoo into my hair, the black bags hollowed out his eyes. For the past few weeks, he had been staying up with me. The tortured screams bursting from lips from my nightmares keeping us up all night, a deep sigh pouring from his lips.
"You need to go with my old man. He is really making an effort. I love you but I need some fucking sleep." He groaned tiredly, yawning groggily. "Do it for me if you need someone to do it for. It is my order as the alpha." Rinsing out the shampoo, he stood to his feet. Unable to deny the alpha's order, his dress shoes clicked out of the bathroom. My heightened sense of hearing heard the mattress creaked as he crashed onto the bed, my trembling fingers pulled on the drain. Struggling to my feet, the fluffy towel felt soft against my skin. Drying off quickly, the soft wool of my sweater felt foreign, the leather skirt hanging off of my ass. Sliding on my boots, the trauma of the day caused me to freeze in my spot. Grabbing my black coffin purse, my head poked out cautiously. His father waited patiently at the door, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. Following him quietly, he opened the door for me. Hopping into the passenger's seat, my shaking hand clicked the seat belt. Leaning on the door, the cold glass cooled my face. The engine roared to life, my eyes watching the tall pines flash by the window. Hoping that he wouldn't ask me a million questions, my hope was soon dashed.
"You don't have to talk but you will listen to what I have to say." He announced with authority, the apple not falling far from the tree. "I love you like the daughter I never had. It hurts me to see you like this. You can call me whenever you need to talk to someone. I will always be there for you." Gritting my teeth, my mind wondering why he was trying so freaking hard. All I wanted to hide underneath a blanket for the rest of my life, the sound of any voice pissing me off. I didn't deserve such kindness, my failure weighing heavily on my mind. Rage boiled in my veins, my fists smashing against my legs.
"Why can't you just all leave me alone!" I blurted out brokenly, mixed emotions plaguing me. "Why do you care? I don't deserve any of you. I couldn't even keep my servant alive. He was like a brother to me, and now he's gone." Continuing to drive, his blue eyes darted in my direction for a quick second. Clearing his throat, his thumbs drummed anxiously on the steering wheel. Novi did this too, my mind wandering back to him.
"You were there for me when my wife died. I still miss her, but you showed me that there was still light at the end of the tunnel. You planned the most beautiful funeral services I have ever seen. Her ashes are still on the nightstand next to her bed." He explained earnestly, my fingers gripping the leather strap of my purse. "Death is hard, especially when it's close to home. I admire your strength for seeing the goodness in your enemies' hearts. I would have killed twice as many people by this point. We are the ones that don't deserve you. His sacrifice was bold, but he did it out of love for his master. Don't beat yourself up, kid?" A small smile curled on my lips, the truth of his words stinging my heart. Chewing on my nails, the deli loomed in front of us. Staying in the car, a white appliance truck pulled up. His old man jumped out, unlocking the apartment for them. Watching them carry the new stove up, the old one was dragged out. Ten minutes passed, my father-in-law climbed back into the driver's side. Clicking his seat belt, the engine roared to life. Surprise rounded my eyes, his arms embracing me warmly. Melting into his arms, his embrace melting a layer of my anxiety away. Releasing me, nothing was said for a minute. Guilt gnawed at me, my bitchiness poisoning his valiant efforts to make me feel better.
"Do you like the stove?" I asked softly, chewing on my lip. "I saw that it wasn't really working that well, and I thought that it was killing you that it sucked. Your cooking skills are amazing. I find it really sweet that your wife is still on her side. I am sure she is smiling down at you. Angel is the only way to describe that woman. I am so lucky to have met her." Smiling happily to himself, his throat cleared once again. Holding back tears, his fingers began to drum anxiously on his steering wheel.
"You're like her. You have her spirit." He sighed deeply, pulling onto the highway. "I can't wait to see what you will accomplish. Novi told me that you want to write. How about you turn your pain into a story? I am aware you have a hard time talking about your problems, so perhaps write it away." His suggestion wasn't terrible, his assessment not far off from my actual personality. Taking the next exit, a bright pink building with a couple of giant chocolate frosted donuts flashing on the roof assaulted my eyes. The bright colors hurt my eyes, my whole body trembling. Would more evil creatures try to attack me? Falling onto the floor the moment he opened the door, a frown plastered itself on his face. Clammy sweat drenched my skin, my chest tightening. Embracing me compassionately, my tears soaked his shoulders. My heart beat sped up, my breathing growing faster. Trembling in his arms, worry burned in his eyes.
"You are okay. You are with your family." He whispered in a frenzied manner, rubbing my back. "Take some deep breaths. Slow down your heart. Just go relax in my vehicle, and I will be right back." Setting me back into the passenger's seat, his big hand clicked my seat belt. Pressing the key into my palm, his big hand ruffled my hair. The sensation of comfort did little to help out my increasing anxiety, my eyes never leaving the sky.
"Lock the door until I come out. Nothing is going to get you with me around." He continued happily, the sound of the door closing making me jump. "I will be right back." Pushing the lock button a thousand times, a wave of relief crashed over me as the locking sound echoed in the car. Watching anxiously, the key dug deeper into my palm with each passing second. Shaking like a leaf, this behavior made me feel vulnerable. A knock on the driver's window broke me out of my trance, my thumb pressing the unlock button. Opening the door, he offered me the white box. Passing it back to him, my stomach grumbled. Eating had proved difficult for past weeks, my morning sickness haunting me. Opening the box, drool dripped from the corner of my lips, the large fluffy doughnuts looking so freaking good. Picking out a random doughnut, he picked his. Muffled moans escaped our lips, the sweet chocolate taste melting all over my tongue. This was one of the best donuts I had ever had but yet again I hadn't been able to eat for a while.
"So good." I squeaked out, taking the last bite. "Thank you so much for taking me out. I needed this." Shooting me a thumbs up, he closed the box. The engine roared to life, the pine trees growing thicker. Stopping at a trail head, he waited for me at the first line of trees. Dry leaves crunched underneath me with each step towards him, he pointed to the trail. No words were said, only rare glances at each other. The salty sea air wafted up my nose, the glistening ocean coming into view. The songs of the birds dissolved the rest of my jitters away, a couple of squirrels bouncing up the trail. My breath hitched at the endless water, a whale jumping in the distance. The morning sun colored the surface of the water, his hand guiding me to the edge of a cliff. A sad but pleasant smile lit up his face, tears glistening in his eyes. Sitting down on the ground, he plopped down next to me. Smiling warmly to myself, a deep breath escaped his lips.
"This is my hiding spot. I used to come here with my wife. We would sit for hours and talk until the purple rays of dusk dyed the waves. I even proposed in this same spot. I still can't believe she said yes." He pointed out in a defeated tone, his head bowing. "I still come here to feel like she is here. Where did Saint and you hang out?" Laughing quietly to myself, a sad smile dimmed my face. Picking up a large pine cone, my fingers playing the sharp edges. Of course this was a special place for him, my wedding ring glinting in the morning rays.
"It isn't as cool as this." I admitted bitterly, regretting my lacking ability to save him. "It was just the couch where we would watch our favorite anime. Why couldn't I save him? I feel so angry at myself for my failure to heal him." Taking my hand, he turned towards me. The warmth in his eyes heated up my soul, teardrops crashing to the top of my hand. Feeling the same emotions at the moment, his wife did die without warning. An awkward pause hung between us, his gentle smile helping me relax a bit more.
"Call me when you need me, and I will bring you here." He offered sweetly, letting go of my hand. "You will heal in time, but hiding away isn't the answer. Believe me, I tried for a couple of days. Then you dragged me out of it. Now it is my turn. How about we go back to my apartment so I can make you a meal on my new stove? I am so excited to cook on that baby. It is the best stove in the world. We can make Novi his favorite casserole." Flashing him my real smile, his ability to cheer me up made me so blessed to have him as my father-in-law. Jumping to my feet, we hiked back down to the trail head. Popping into the passenger's side, the engine roared to life. Turning on the radio knob, heavy metal broke the awkward silence. Highway turned to trees, his apartment in the distance. Rocks crunched under his tires, the brakes squealing to a stop. Spinning his apartment keys in his palm, my boots landed gracefully on the parking lot. Walking a couple of feet behind him, the key slid into the lock. The door swung open, excitement buzzing in his eyes. Locking the door behind him, the stove waited for its master. Running up to it, the sheer beauty of it took my breath away. The sleek silver matched his down to earth personality, his hands already gathering a bunch of ingredients for a quick soup. Stepping up next to him, my shaking fingers wrapped around his professional level chef's knife. Setting down all of the vegetables, a small gasp of wonder tumbled from my lips with each easy cut. Hearty laughter burst from his lips, his crooked grin matching Novi's. A tender blush rose to my cheeks, almost feeling like a small child. Knowing that if I had grown up with him raising me, my life would have been amazing. Alas, the past was the past.
"You like those knives, don't you?" He mused playfully, adjusting my fingers on the sleek knife. "Can we not cut ourselves? I am afraid my son will never forgive me if any harm comes to you." A fit of laughter exploded from my lips, tears of mixed emotions crashing onto his worn oak cutting board. How long has it been since I laughed and smiled? How much time has passed since I felt true happiness? Confusion dawned on my face, this warmth feeling so unfamiliar. For weeks I shut everyone out including Novi, poor Novi. None of this behavior was fair, guilt dimming my eyes. The simple question about the knives threw my mind off, breaking the heavy fog in my brain. Today had been just what I needed, a wide grin spreading cheek to cheek. Grateful for my lovely day, his old man really knew how to save the day.
"I do." I whispered oddly, his face softening. "I don't know why but your question has snapped me out of my depression's dark fog." Shooting me a thumbs up, we both buried our heads into our work. Less than half an hour passed of cooking, two bowls of steaming soup sat in front of me. His eyes watched me intensely, his single bowl resting in front of him. Motioning for me to eat, he began to talk about all of his favorite cooking equipment. The random facts beat me stewing in the darkness of my mind, the shadows of my depression's grasp on me loosening. Learning quite a bit about everything to do with the kitchen, his excitement kept my interest peaked. The whole day whizzed by a touch too fast, my home looming over me. The casserole dish rested on my forearms, the stars twinkling above me. Letting myself in, the remains of tonight's dinner soaked in the sink. Putting the casserole in the refrigerator, a familiar touch scared me. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, Novi's chin rested on my head. His scent relaxed all of my muscles, his strong arms spinning me around. My heart skipped a beat, his handsome face inches from mine. The inky blackness of his bags faded to a pale puffiness, his hands cupped my face. Kissing my lips feverishly, he pinned me to the kitchen island.
"I missed you so much." He growled huskily, my legs wrapping around his waist. "Is it alright if I make love to you?" Stunned by him asking, his strong arms clutched me close to his chest. Fat teardrops soaked the top of my head, a sense of relief crashing over me. Gazing lovingly up at him, my shaking fingers wiped away his tears. The broken look on his face shattered my heart, my genuine smile softening the agony in his eyes.
"I am back. I am sorry that I drowned in the sea of my sorrow and left you behind." I apologized sincerely, kissing his lips sensually. "I am sorry for keeping you up all night. I promise to do be-" Stopping me mid sentence, his wink sent my heart into a flutter. Carrying me upstairs, Laying me down gingerly, he pulled my sweater over his head. Unzipping my skirt, the leather created a soft plop the moment it landed on the floor. Peeling off my underwear with his teeth, a shiver of pleasure shot up my spine. Getting wetter by the second, no sex had been had for the past three weeks. The depression I slipped into had robbed me of any libido, Novi even struggling to get me out of bed. Claws grew from his fingernails, my breath hitching the moment it cut off my bra. The wild look in his eyes turned me on more, his fangs brushing against my skin.
"I understand you were sad, but I have three weeks of sexual frustration to get out. So get ready for a wild evening." He promised wickedly, my thighs rubbing together. "Are you okay though? I just want to make sure. You did check out for a while, and it scared me." Sitting down on top of me, the look in his eyes told me that he needed to pause our evening activity for a second. Damn it! Something really must have been eating at him.
"I am fine. Your father really helped me work through it." I stammered nervously, my nerves still tingling. Biting his lips, he shook his head. His cross shimmered in the pale moonlight bathing the room, his lips pressing into a thin line. Irritation bloomed in my eyes, my inner wolf begging for this very moment. Biting my lips until blood dripped down my lips, his fingers wiped it away sweetly. Embarrassment burned my cheeks, his eyes narrowing in my direction.
"I am just making sure. You have a habit of lying when you are losing the mental battle in your head. Isn't that how we got to three weeks of you ignoring everyone and hiding away." He blurted out desperately, his voice cracking. "Do you know how scared I was watching you lay there for three weeks? I couldn't do a damn thing about it and that is what hurt the most. How do you fix the therapist when they break? Just promise me you will talk next time." Fresh tears welled up in my eyes, his handsome face waiting for the answer with bated breath. The pressure built on my shoulders, panic coursing through my mind. It wasn't like I had meant to do that, my initial reaction was to hide my mental health from everyone.
"I am positive. It took him asking me a simple question about the knife I was using to snap me out of it." I wept softly, the tears soaking the black pillow underneath my head. "I don't know how he did it. Maybe because I had to think about something else for a second in order to see that it wasn't my fault. I didn't wake up and choose to get kidnapped that day. He sacrificed himself to save his master. What more could a servant ask of their master? I miss him and always will, but he wouldn't want me to live my life sleeping the pain away. He would want me to live a full life, and to be happy. Time will bring me a semi-normal sense of happiness eventually, but there will always be a depression waiting for me in the shadows. I have you to help me fight that battle, right?"