Hey Darlings, for you all...
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Si yihan's Pov:
All my life I have always loved by the rules of others and in the wake of many people but before had I ever felt so helpless as I am feeling right now and all because of her. The girl in front of me who shook me up completely with her presence.
She took me by storm and holds me in the palm of her hand with all the world to look at. And even if it was just a few meetings I knew it when I first saw her, that I never wanted anything more than her. I never wanted anything completely mine until her. She was the person who wreaked havoc in my life by her mere presence. And I would want nothing more than her. Just her with me, madly in love me. I want her world to revolve around me just like mine does around her ever since she first stumbled onto me and I fell in the depths of her big doe shaped glassy black eyes from which I have never been able to make myself come out of.
Ever since that fateful encounter I have utterly lost in her though be it at work or anything as trivial as if I am working out and she is there consuming my thought every single minute of it and I am left totally useless.
Once I thought that maybe it was maybe due to I have been celibate for a long time and I am finally gone crazy thinking about her all this while due to my long time distance from those of the opposite genders. It was all due to it being my complete aversion to them throwing at me, every chance they get.
I did go to a few dates orchestered by my mother in hopes of setting me up but ever since my last date who showed up all primed with silvers was actually already married, she has learnt to stay away from my dating life and I couldn't be more grateful about it. But that was four years ago and I have been single ever since the which is good for me as I get more work done than ever and that's all I have wanted and I am contended with it.
It wasn't until my grandfather who has gotten a heart attack two years back and as his last dying wish I was forced to marry someone whom I have never even met or seen before, but atleast It was on my terms so all was fine and for all his mad emotional ways, my grandfather is still alive and very much kicking ass, so all was good and I was able to forget about it all and delve back into my work but then suddenly out of nowhere this girl has to come in and I was completely swept up off by her presence that I completely even forgot that I am married.
But ever since our first encounter on that hotel room balcony in A-country all I have been able to think about is her and she keeps me awake with all her thoughts.
At first I was confused and overwhelmed with this feeling but slowly it has taken a shape as my resolution for this girl has only got stronger along with my feelings.
And after being through all the roller coaster of feelings, I have finally come to the realisation that maybe I am ready to settle down, or whatever it is that she likes or want as long as it's her but things are not going accordingly.
Me being married also doesn't help but then also I am not able to understand what is the main problem here. I know that I am a decent guy with good looks as much I have come to realise after seeing so many women's reactions over the years.
Atleast I think I am decent except maybe me married could be an issue but as far as I am concerned if shouldn't matter of much thought as I can be divorced whenever I want because I don't have feelings for my wife as far and our relationship was always contractual so it shouldn't be of any concern because I am holding the conditions, I have when I said yes to the marriage.
So I am out of my mind thinking about what could be the reason for Bai Xi to deny me again and again.
I sighed as I contemplated on my next course of action seeing as I hardly am left with any other option. I am not sure what could be the cause behind her angst earlier but I know I can't give up. Because I have always made decisions benefitting my family and good for my business, always thinking with my mind and I have never regretted it.
But today I feel completely lost about this situation as I coming up with blank lead on what to do and how to proceed from her. I only know that all I am sure about is that I want her and I am not letting her go.
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Happy Reading!