[ Friday, November 11 ]
The sunlight streamed in through the window, making my room seem suddenly bright and airy. I rubbed my eyes as I pulled myself up to sit on my bed, moving away the blanket that covered me. I reached for the new prescription glasses that I got a week ago and wiped it with the hem of my shirt.
Ever since I became a sophomore student, we've been loaded with lots of reading assignments and paperwork that caused me to lose my perfect vision. I look and feel like a nerd whenever I see myself in the mirror wearing these glasses, therefore I also got myself a pair of contact lenses. My eyes feel that it can breathe better when I'm wearing glasses but if I'm outdoors, there's no way I'll wear glasses. I'd prefer wearing contact lenses outdoors and remove them to wear my glasses only when I'm home. If I'm only in my room, I think it would be fine not to wear any of the two, for I see the things that are near clearly because I'm nearsighted.
I looked at the planner that I never actually followed. Planners and planning usually stress me and I rarely accomplish things according to the date or time that I need to finish it. It certainly is a bad habit, but I can be a lazy person. Not exactly where I'll never get the jobs done, but I'd prefer to cram which make things stressful.
Let's see. I have a paper to submit today which is the reason why I wasn't able to sleep much last night and now it feels like my sleep isn't enough. My class ends at 3 pm, which leaves me free for the rest of the day. I no longer have requirements to submit for next week, so I should be fine.
However, one thing caught my attention as I look at my planner – Amethyst, her future in-laws and Vaughn's flight to the USA on Monday for Vaughn's proton beam therapy. I don't know much about his cancer but it sure is serious. The last time I talked to Summer, I asked about the treatments that Vaughn will be needing. Things are too complicated for me to hear and I don't even understand everything. Medicine isn't my thing, but laws.
I haven't bonded much with Amethyst and Summer, now it makes me think that maybe this is a good chance to do it. If so, what should I do then?
What if we'll simply try a recipe online and cook it here at home? The fun part will be this – the three of us can't cook. If we'll cook something, it can either be a total mess or something memorable, I think? We should be fine.
I browsed for recipes on Google and found something that caught my attention – chicken in creamy mushroom sauce and Asian garlic tofu. It would be a bit boring to just cook one and it would be the three of us. Therefore, we should cook two dishes too. I'm more than sure that mom and dad would be happy to see the three of us try.
As I stepped out of my room, I just happen to see Amethyst and Summer holding their bags and on their way out to whatever business they have. I hurriedly ran after them to stop them from leaving, and I blocked the two of them with my arms stretched wide long before they step out of the house.
It's embarrassing, but not that I care.
Summer tilted her chin up from her eyes that were glued to her phone while walking. "What do you think you're doing? Sasha, you look like a mess. You know," she pointed my hair with her lips, pouting. "… your hair. Also, why are you blocking us?"
Amethyst looked at me from head to toe. "No offense, but I have to agree. It's really obvious that you just woke up. You even have a pluck there in your left eye." I'm impressed how she even noticed that small detail. I feel a bit offended.
"I just woke up but I certainly am not sleepwalking," I defended, putting my arms down to my sides for I can see that I already got their attention. "I want us to bond, you know? The three of us. I was thinking that maybe we should cook something for dinner together."
"Oh," Amethyst responded with a blink as she broke an eye contact and fixed her eyes on Summer as if asking her opinion about my proposal.
"Why are you both looking at me?" Summer asked, her expression puzzled. "For the record, I can't cook." I find her honesty impressive.
"That's the point. The idea about our innocence about cooking will make things interesting. So, what do you think? The three of us should cook dinner tonight and spend time together that way. Thoughts?" Amethyst pouted and smiled. I'll take that as a yes.
"Summer?" I looked at Summer and she rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"The two of you are up for it. I can't say no. I don't want to be a killjoy. So, what are we going to cook?"
"Chicken in creamy mushroom sauce and Asian garlic tofu. I find it interesting but if you have any other suggestions, I'm fine with it."
"I haven't tried either of those before," Amethyst commented, intrigued. "I'd like to try those."
"Okay, that settles it. Sasha, just request the maids to buy the ingredients and we'll cook it later. I'll be home at 6." Summer assured.
Amethyst sighed. "I'll see if I can go home earlier. I'm not going to the office but I'll be with Vaughn for his final check-up since we're leaving on Monday."
"Right, of course. I'll see the two of you later."
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I arrived in school at 9 am and spotted Keith, who's busy writing in his notes inside the students' lounge. I pushed the glass door open to check on him but he didn't bother to look at my direction. He seems to be way too busy to be distracted by an opening glass door.
"Keith?" I called, but he continued doing his thing.
"I see you're here," Keith replied without bothering to look up to me to acknowledge my presence. See, but he didn't even look, not even a glance. He would rather look at the floor than my face. I don't even know how to understand how this guy thinks.
He finally looked up to me, having an expression that I couldn't read. His neutral face. The signature Keith Castelltort look. "I was waiting for you. I know I didn't inform but I'm glad that you're here now. Or maybe not exactly glad."
I hanged my head and squeezed my eyes shut. "Okay, I have a class in 30 minutes so let's get straight to the point. What's with you? You're acting strangely."
"I just found out about your … your mother," he said, hesitantly at first. "Your biological mom, just so you know."
"Biological mom? Are you saying that my parents now aren't my biological parents?"
"Precisely. But first, have a seat," I sat next to him, my heart throbbing. What is it now? For some reason, I feel shivers in my spine as I heard that my biological parents aren't the ones that I knew for 19 years. What is this foolishness all about? And how come – of all the people – Keith's the one who knew about it? If this is true, how can Jasmine and Gabriel Monteverde not tell me about this?
"You remember when I told you that I've been investigating? That crazy woman that I was talking about. Mina Furukawa." Keith's expression falls, his eyes filled with sadness. "Whatever you'll know today, please, just see that I'm doing this as your friend and it feels like a duty for me to do all these things. Anyway, I'm not going to sugarcoat things. I found out that Mina's your real mother."
My mouth threw open in shock. Is he serious? I want to believe that what Keith just said are all just a dream. This is just a big joke. It doesn't make sense.
"What are you talking about?" I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying another word, strong enough to make it bleed. I tried to keep my cool, but deep inside I can't help but have tons of questions. "Enlighten me."
"Mina said that she noticed that I have a connection with you because she's been observing you for quite some time now. I don't know how she got my number, but she won't stop calling or texting me asking me about you. I didn't understand why she chose to bug me instead of talking to you directly, but now I got it right. I talked to her and she showed me some documents and the agreement that you, whose original name is Hana Furukawa, was adopted by Jasmine and Gabriel Monteverde. The only thing left is the actual story from your current parents. Your mother, Mina, married a Japanese man named Sora. Now, the three of you lived in Japan before. However, when Sora found out that you're not his child because Mina confessed that you were from a different man, he hated you and wanted you gone. Mina was pregnant with your half-sister, Sara at that time. Sora gave Mina a chance for him not to divorce her. Mina chose to go back here in the Philippines and had the Monteverdes adopt you. There was only a signed agreement. Then, they gave you a new name and settled everything that needs to be settled, so in your birth certificate, the Monteverdes are your parents and gave you the name Sasha. Now, Mina's here just to see you, but she's afraid that you might reject and not believe her. Sora hanged himself in depression after finding out about you. Mina just went back there and saw him in their house like that. When Sara was born, on the other hand, she was very sick. The little girl had some problem with her heart which Mina didn't tell exactly what. Two years after she was born, Sara died. That's why Mina's been watching you all this time. Now, Mina's a dying person too, since she's in the final stage of leukemia."
I can taste blood in my mouth. I can't even find the right words. I don't know what to feel or what I feel. My thoughts are a mess, I don't even know where to start.
Keith pulled out a brown envelope from his bag and showed it to me. The documents like my first birth certificate as Hana Furukawa, the written agreement between Mina and my current parents are there. The photos of me when I was a baby 'till I was 2 years old were also included in it. I can tell because mom showed me the similar photos so I have an idea about how I looked like back then.
I heaved a breath as I stood up without any word. Everything is too much to handle. How can they not tell me about all these things? I need more proof, but Keith's information and documents are convincing enough. But I need some air to breathe in. My hands were beside me, curling into a fist, shaking. The rush of blood roars in my ears, hammering in time with my heart. I braced myself and hold myself back from tears, however, tears streamed silently down my cheeks.
I feel weak.
I feel betrayed.
I feel useless.
I feel like I've been lied to.
For 19 years I lived in a house full of liars. I had a mother who threw me away like garbage instead of taking care of me. I felt no love and looked for it somewhere else. The man that I loved couldn't love me back. Now, everything was going fine because we fixed the relationships in our family and then this happened. Great, what else should I need to know?
Keith stood up and pulled me towards him, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. I couldn't help but burst into tears. Keith held the back of my head, his other hand caressing my back to comfort me.
"I've been through a lot, Keith. I no longer know what to feel. I no longer know what to think. I don't even know if I can go home in a house filled with people who lied to me all these years."
"I'm sorry," he said. "It hurts, but I know I had to say it. If you really wish to and you can't stay at your house, my place is open. I have some vacant rooms there since I'm living alone now."
"Thank you, Keith. But I'll be fine," I assured, forcing a sad smile. "My heart was made of glass, and my mind was made of stone. Now, I am nothing but a garbage. That's what I feel."
"No, you aren't. Stop saying and believing that. I also know how it's like to experience family issues, however, you have to be strong. Life goes on. Face the facts and accept it. Ask the Monteverdes about this and decide what you want to do. Set your emotions aside before doing any action and think first."
I'm going to ask them about everything, let them tell me the truth and I'll decide if I should see Mina or not. For now, it's best to stick with my plans and spend the evening making dinner with Amethyst and Summer, and do what needs to be done.
Discussing the truth about Hana Furukawa.