Resumption day was not over yet.
All of you were back in school except the Agu's because David was successful this time. David hated resumption days especially ones at the beginning of term because on those days Sadiq does a welcome back event, that Ichekani called the 'Silent Parade'.
At first, David was happy that he was no longer in junior school because they only used the Silent Parade to punish stubborn junior school students. Then, Sadiq invited him in the first and second terms of Ss1 to watch the parade.
He said, "I just want to remind you of the good old days".
Back when David was in Js1, he got to witness the beginning of the Sadiq-Ichekani bromance. It was on his first day in secondary school. His dad, Sunday Agu had taken his four children to school right after church that Sunday. While David's mum checked Destiny, Nancy and Jessica into the girls' hostel, his dad had a heart-to-heart talk with him in his dorm.
The dorm was empty. The Agu's had been the first to arrive that day, so it was just Sunday Agu and his son in a massive dorm with eight bunk beds well spaced with individual storage lockers. In the middle of the dorm, were four long desks merged into a hollow square with desk chairs tucked in. The blue dorm could easily fit 20 bunk beds maybe more.
"Dimkpa, have a seat", Sunday Agu said after helping David lay his bed. David's dad went to get one of the desk chairs from the centre of the room. "Boarding school won't be easy. I never went to one and my parents could never afford a school like this, so you'll adjust well", Sunday Agu said sitting down.
"Don't try to be cool or popular, you're not Nancy, your smart but you're not Jessica", David felt insulted, he could be cool if he wanted to and if he reduced or even stopped playing video games, he could be smart if not smarter than Jessica.
"Daddy, I get it, you think I'm average-" David replied as calmly as he could, but he couldn't mask his expressions from his Dad. Sunday Agu knew how to tell when his son was upset.
"No, I think you're balanced, ordinary with a bit extra, I think you should-", David's dad stops and mentally searches for a way to rephrase his words. "Remember what I said in the car", David's dad said moving to sit on the bed.
"You said school is about networking", David said.
"Exactly, remember that everything in life could be done with a business mind. If you were asked to group customers you'd group them into four basic groups, people who have plenty money, people who have some money, people who have no money and people who may or may not have money but aren't interested in buying anything", Sunday Agu paused.
David's dad was scanning his son's face to see if he understood him. "Now if you were to group students into four groups how would you group them?"
"Nerds, I mean smart kids, popular kids, normal kids and weird loner kids", David's dad smiled at his son's response because he was sure this explanation would work.
"Dimkpa, I know what nerd means. When Jessica was in Js1 she told me that her classmates kept calling her a nerd", Sunday Agu explained and David laughed a little remembering that moment.
"Oh, I get! Jessica is a nerd, Nancy is popular and Destiny is weirdly quiet so I'm the normal one", David replied.
"Exactly, so don't waste your time trying to make friends that aren't interested in your market, befriend the normal kids, don't try to act smart or peppy just be you", His dad explained. "Now get up, we came early to beat resumption day traffic", Sunday Agu said stretching his hands out for a hug. "Try and pray", David's dad said as he hugged his son.
David had no plans of listening, he was going to prove his dad wrong. He was going to be cool, smart, and popular. As the boys came to the hostel one by one, he began befriending all of them being peppy and bubbly like Nancy, stating random facts he had heard Jessica say.
Sadiq was among the first boys to arrive, he was quiet. He came with his mom who didn't look like a mom, she didn't have a pot belly or wear mommy-style clothes. She didn't even introduce herself like moms do, "My name is Rose, this is my son Sadiq" she said to David, "Are the beds assigned?" she asked.
"No, I don't think they are", David replied observing Rose. There was nothing Mrs about Rose. David knew she was married because of the wedding ring and the bodyguard-looking man that she came with handed her a phone saying, "Madam, your husband is calling".
"Is your mom an actress or a model?" David asked immediately after Rose and her bodyguard left. Sadiq shook his head in response. "So, what's it like schooling here? My sisters told me, but they are girls and girls' hostel is different from boys' hostel. Are there any rules I need to know?" David asked and Sadiq took a deep breath.
"I just transferred here from a day school, and I really don't like people disturbing my peace", Sadiq said with a look that told David to go away.
For the rest of the day, David exhausted himself by cosplaying a sympathetic chatterbox. "Oh you're from Abia, me too", David told one boy. "You have older sisters too... I swear it's like my sisters are sirens their screams are deafening", David said and the boys laughed.
It was working, everyone liked David except Sadiq but David didn't know that. He just thought Sadiq was like Destiny, very shy and not much of a talker. After dinner, all the Js2 boys except Sadiq went to the blue house common room upstairs for a mini welcome back party.
"Guys! Who wants to play Whot?" David said holding up some playing cards.
All the Js1 boys gathered in the centre of the room excited, wearing their pyjamas and David was their ringleader. Frank was David's roommate then, "What game should we play? Oh! We should play School, since we're in school" Frank said. "Can I share?" Frank asked and David smiled.
David was not about to let Frank usurp his status as the Alpha of Js1 boys in yellow house dorm 2. He had spent the summer holiday catching up on teen tv series with his sisters and his favourite was 'Teen Wolf'. David believed so far as he had a pack, he would be the most talked about Js1 boy and once he won a few rounds, he'll also be seen as smart. To do that he needed to be the card shuffler for at least the first game.
"Let's play School", David said like he came up with the idea. "Same shape, same number", David added as he shuffled the cards. "Join those two tables", David said and the boys did as they were told. David's pack was forming, he just needed to keep Frank in check.
To David, Frank had greedy Omega vibes, he questioned David's shuffling technique and offered to do it better. "You need to scatter the cards first before shuffling, if you don't do it like that one person might get all the action cards", Frank complained.
"Guy, it's just cards, chill. Next round someone else would shuffle", David said in his calmest tone, he had no plans of letting Frank shuffle. The seven Junior boys didn't know David's tell, if they knew, they'd know he was chaining down his temper. "The three players with the largest card total will lose, they'll have to repeat", David said the last rule of the game.
David won the first round and the second. "Last card", David announced. "I feel like I should be getting a double promotion", David said with a smile, as he watched Frank watch him.
"You're cheating!" Frank said as he stood up so angrily that his chair toppled over. "You're probably hiding cards in your pocket", Frank said and David's pack began turning against him. All the boys shot accusatory glances at David. It was as if their eyes were saying, "it's not possible to win two games in a row without cheating".
"Wow! You're really petty", David said unbuttoning his pyjama shirt and shaking it, then he removed his trousers and shook it too. "Should I remove my boxers too?" David said glaring at Frank. "Frank, it's just a game", David said. "No one would like to play with you if you're a sore loser, take the L and play better, instead of accusing innocent people", David said using his fingers to gesture an 'L' for major loser and the boys laughed at Frank.
"Does anyone else have cards?" Frank yelled upset that David called him a loser. "David, you're a cheater! You're only winning because we are using your cards, you did something to them", Frank yelled and the pack took David's side.
"Are you normal?" David said using another cheeky smile to mask his annoyance. "Wait! Are you one of those idiots that think that anyone that wins them must be using jazz!" David scoffed in disbelief.
"Keep quiet!" Sadiq said audibly from his bed, the deepness of his voice shocked the boys. David was brimming with cockiness, he wanted to show Frank that he was a big bad wolf.
"Sadiq, the Js2 boys are in the blue house common room doing a welcome back party", David said and all the Js1 boys looked at him with wonder. Their eyes were asking David, "Do you know the Js2 boy?", "Are you friends with that senior?", and it made David smile.
"Oh Sadiq is shy", David told the boys that began to believe that David was friends with Sadiq. Frank picked up his chair after David suggested that they change to game to Donkey. David was at Donke- and in search of the final card, that'll help him win the game when Frank caught him smiling again.
Frank had used up all his suspects on David, "Can you stop cheating?" Frank yelled and David rolled his eyes. "He is cheating!" Frank said but he had become the boy who cried wolf. Frank angrily scattered the cards, "Are you guys dumb? He is cheating" Frank yelled again and this time all the boys stood up to defend David. David sat back smiling.
"Kneel down!" Sadiq said. David hadn't heard him get off his bed. "All of you get on your fucking knees!" David turned back to see an angry Sadiq right behind him. "I told you that I don't like noise", Sadiq said staring at David. His pack started slowly going on their knees staring at David, hoping he would change his 'friend' Sadiq's mind.
"Is it your first time punishing?" said a voice standing outside the room in mufti. The boy removed his beanie and revealed his pitch-black big curls, he was way fairer than David, almost white with a bold African nose. "Where is Chinny?" He said looking around the room but everywhere was empty except the middle.
"Find Chinny", the mixed boy said to another boy that was coming downstairs. It was like the room was paused and everyone was fixated on the mixed boy wearing a duffle bag.
"I'm in Js1, I don't know who Chinny is", the boy on the stairs said as his dreadlocks shook and scattered across his face. It reminded David of beaded curtains minus the beads.
"Does this face look like it cares?" the mixed boy said. "You have 10 minutes to find him, so better run".
"Hi, I'm Ichekani", the mixed boy said to Sadiq. David had expected his name to be Dylan, Chad or Tyler but he hadn't expected a native name. "I'm guessing you're in Js2 too", Ichekani said. The more Ichekani spoke the more American he sounded.
"I'm Sadiq, are you just coming?" Sadiq asked looking at his watch that told him it was 9:12 pm. Ichekani smiled, and they did a bros handshake. "That's mad! I thought they close the gates for resumption by 7 pm".
"My transfer flight to Lagos was delayed and my dad lives in Abuja, so if they don't let me in, the school will have to find a hotel for me", Ichekani said tossing Sadiq a bag of chocolates.
"Welcome to B. I.", Ichekani said dropping his duffle bag to pull out a chair and sit on it wrongly. "Why are you sitting?" Ichekani asked David, and David remembered that he was supposed to kneel down. "What did they do?" Ichekani asked as Sadiq sat on the chair beside him the proper way.
"They were making noise!" Sadiq said opening the chocolate. "I don't like noise". David was dumbfounded by the situation, 8 junior boys were kneeling down while the two Js2s sat down calmly discussing. Jessica had warned him not to challenge seniors, that some were genuinely insane and he had a feeling Ichekani was that kind.
"Should I teach them a lesson, it'll be fun", Ichekani said and Sadiq cocked his head in approval. "Get up all of you and form a single file, hold your neighbour's shoulders!" Ichekani said smiling as he saw Sadiq looking confused. "When a senior says 'keep quiet', they mean they want to hear a pin drop", Ichekani said spacing out the Js1 boys in the file.
"If Sadiq had dropped a pin when you were making noise, he would have misplaced it and what happens to a misplaced pin?" Ichekani asked.
"Someone might step on it", Frank replied hoping his proactive response would get him exempt from the upcoming punishment.
"Exactly", Ichekani said walking towards Frank. "Good boy!" he said tapping Frank's chin. "Has anyone heard of pick-pin?" Ichekani asked.
Jessica and Nancy had shown David the punishment, but David knew better than to reply.
Frank stupidly raised his hand. "Can you demonstrate?" Ichekani said like he was asking, but all the boys there instinctively knew that the only response Ichekani would accept was yes.
Frank broke the line as he went to the front to demonstrate. Frank bent down as if he was going to pick up something, pointed and pressed his index finger on the floor, placed his other hand behind his back and lifted one leg. Ichekani clapped and Sadiq smiled, "What's your name?" Ichekani asked Frank and Frank replied. "Frank, go back to your spot on the line!"
"If someone steps on a pin, you'll have to pull it out of their leg", Ichekani said returning to his seat. "Boy in front of the queue pick-pin, and the rest of you pull the pin out from the leg of the person in front of you", Ichekani said opening a mini Snickers. All the Js1 boys except the boy in the front looked confused.
David was glad he was at the back of the queue because he felt that if someone lost their balance they'll fall forward.
"Are you deaf?" Ichekani said when he noticed that some of the boys were still standing. "Do I have to spell it out?" Ichekani added searching the chocolate bag for another Snickers. "Instead of regular Pick Pin, grab the – what's this part called?" he said tapping his ankle as he removed his shoes.
"You there! Pass me your black slides, you're a size 11 right", Ichekani said and the person in front of David removed his slippers and gave Ichekani.
They were doing that punishment for nearly twenty minutes before the boy that Ichekani had sent to find Chinny returned with Chinny. "What's your name?" Ichekani asked, and the boy foolishly replied. "Midas, Do you know the meaning of 10 minutes?" Ichekani asked the boy, Midas, and he looked so puzzled by the question. "Join your mates!" he said and Midas grabbed David's ankle.
"Chinny finally!" Ichekani exclaimed. "My bags are downstairs carry them to my room. Oh don't forget my shoes", he said kicking the shoes towards Chinny. "Chinny wait! Where are my manners!" Ichekani said. "Have you met Sadiq? He's new and oh don't forget my duffle", Ichekani said kicking the duffle towards Chinny.
"Is he a junior?" Sadiq asked and Ichekani laughed.
"Chinny's my friend, he's our setmate… Why would I introduce you to a junior?" Ichekani smiled, "You know there's a boy in our set called Junior, that's not his real name he used to be called Desmond but... it's a long story", Ichekani said as he watched Chinny dragging his luggage upstairs.
"Chinny please can you bring out my slides, this boy's own are so uncomfortable. "You really should buy new slippers for school, how long have you worn these? They are moulded to your feet shape", Ichekani complained kicking the slides towards the owner who was perspiring twice as much as the other boys and Sadiq laughed.
"Chinny what do you think of our Silent Parade?" Ichekani asked as Chinny gave him the slides. It took a minute for Sadiq to understand what Ichekani meant and then Sadiq laughed. Ichekani was creative in that way, he was good at inventing the wrong things. Chinny didn't respond, he just went back to carrying Ichekani's bags to his room.
"You're funny", Sadiq said. "I like you" Sadiq said covering his smile with his fingers.
David's pack was severely reduced, after spending 1 hour doing that Silent Parade. He wished he had listened to his dad because, in the end, the only boys that remained in David's pack were three of the most averagely normal boys in his room.
Sadiq and Ichekani reserved the Silent Parade for resumption days. It became their tradition. Every term, Ichekani makes Chinny write and manage a list of stubborn juniors. Ichekani called it 'the delayed punishment list', at some point David's name began disappearing from that list.
When David entered Ss1, Sadiq began inviting him to watch the Silent Parade on resumption day. Sadiq made him demonstrate the punishment to remind David of the good old days. David hated watching the junior boys look at him with hateful eyes, sweating, shaking and crying while grabbing each other's knees.
Last resumption day Sadiq told the boys he was punishing, "My brother-in-law is going to manage you guys". Then he left with Ichekani, they often leave the moment the Silent Parade stops being fun for them. "Dimkpa if you release them before lights out, you'll have to find and host your own parade", Sadiq warned with a smile.
David hated that he had to begin the term by receiving buckets of silent curses and bad karma because of Sadiq. But this resumption day, David lay in his bed in his father's house wondering if his absence had put Chinny in charge of managing the Silent Parade.
…