As a kid, watching the dead body of your kid brother, really scars you. Especially when it's entirely your own fault.
The screams and cries of a grieving mother, and the guilt-stricken face of a father, doesn't help much either. They asked me multiple times, why I had gone out with him? Why to the forest of all places?
By this point, I wasn't even crying anymore. I don't think I felt anything. Like a body without a soul, I remained in this constant limbo of self-hatred.
The knights by this time had also set out. Leaving my one dream, utterly crumbling to tiny bits and pieces.
My father started drinking. My mum wouldn't even look at me. My brothers and sisters no longer smiled in my direction.
I stayed cooped up in my own hole of a room. Waiting for the gods to smite me down, sending me to hell. That's the only place a sinner like me belonged...
10 years passed by in an instant.
As soon as I came of age. I was kicked out of the house.
Walking with a simple bag, filled with whatever my mother packed, I found myself at the end of the village. I stared towards the familiar oak wood fence that trapped me in this boring bubble. I had not seen the outside in 10 years. Yet nothing had changed, and neither did I.
Following the path to the forest, I watched as the ghostly figure of a young, 8 year old boy, dragged along his little brother down the coarse dirt road.
Soon I stood at the edge of the forest. I observed large trees from which branches sprouted like arms, waiting to snatch me up into the air Their trunks forming pattern that looked like faces, grinning with malicious intent. Bushes that could hold monsters behind every leaf, waiting to pounce on their unsuspecting prey.
Though the forest looked a lot denser than on that fateful day, the scene felt eerily familiar.
I searched for the place where my brother had died. Yet I couldn't find it. I didn't focus on where we were in those final moments, but rather how we were going to survive.
"hahahhaaHAhHaHa...", I laughed maniacally, falling to the floor, waiting for nightfall.
Today, I was going to die.
- - - - -
"Hey Mister, are you okay?"
My eyes slowly opened, finding the silhouette of a young teenager crouching over me.
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. There were some tears. Are they repentance, or am I just scared to die? Never mind.
"Oh, you're not dead", he chuckled. "That's a relief".
I merely stared at him.
"Come with me, I'll set up a camp", he pulled me up by my arm. "It's not safe at night".
"So Mister, what brings you here, to this forest?", he waited for me to answer. "Going somewhere?".
I gazed at the ground beneath our feet, a small trail of ants heading to their home.
"Not much for small talk, huh Mister?", he took in a deep breath. "I... have a dream".
He continued, "I want to become a knight".
My eyes widened for a moment.
"You know, my brother isn't much of a talker either", a look of sorrow and pity filled his face. "Well more like he can't, he can't really do anything Mister, can't walk, can't talk, he's as frail as a pigeon".
"They say he's disabled Mister, that he doesn't have much longer to live. He always had this sad expression on his face. But one day, these knights come and I swear, I've never seen his eyes glow as bright as on that day", he started sniffling. "I promised myself that day, I would become a knight as gallant as them, so that my brother would smile every time I enter the room".
"And so I'm headed to the city Frorenholm to train and take the exam".
By this point, the boy was almost bawling his eyes out. Compared to him I...
"I also wanted to become a knight", I finally spoke. A small silence now filling the atmosphere.
"What changed?".
"I-", I couldn't speak, I had never stopped wanting to follow my dream. Even when I killed my own brother, even when I caused our family to crumble apart. How... can I be so selfish?
"Listen Mister", he looked towards the darkening sky. "The thing that's weighing you down, you've got to let go... I'm sure your family would be proud of you if you became a knight".
"They'd never-".
"Is there really no one?", he cut off my self-denial.
In the next instant, I thought of Flint's smiling face.
"There was one...", I muttered, tears flowing down my cheeks.
"Do it for him", he tapped my shoulder, as he gave a soft smile.
"Yeah... I will".
A kid probably as old as Flint, if he were still alive, had pulled me out of my dark depths. I was drowning, and he saved me.
"What's your name?" I asked.
"Sam Sigaul", he smiled. "What about you Mister?"
"Ben Gordam".
- - - - -
The years passed and I along with Sam, had been accepted into one of the city guard units. We still had a long way to go before we truly became knights. But we were determined.
"Ugh, Ben, we're on night duty agaaaaaaain?", Sam complained as he leaned on the stone bricks atop the walls of the city.
"Yeah, but we gotta act professional, so we can get that promotion", I replied sternly.
"You don't need to be so uptight all the time, Ben", he sighed. "Besides, I wanna fight some monsters-".
"There's a large group of humans approaching the city", I pointed towards the incoming party of 50.
"Should I sound the bells?".
"Not yet, we need to confirm whether they're a threat or not", I watched them intently, ready to give the command at the first sign of attack. "They don't seem to be carry any weapons or armour".
One of the men beside us headed down to confront them.
"What brings you all here?", he shouted to get their attention.
Finally having closed the distance between themselves and the gate. They spoke, "Your Heads".
"Huh?", the men and women in front of him began spasming, their skin bursting to show off, long fur underneath. Their mouths elongated to pointy snouts as their height grew tall and threatening. One of them took the guard by his neck.
"Wait NO, LET ME DOWN!", he screamed, kicking about as he was raised up into the air.
*CRUNCH*
His head was bit off.
"RING THE BELLS", I shouted.
"What are those things?!".
"Werewolves", a man who heard the toll of the bell, came and spoke.
The werewolves on the other hand did not appreciate the sudden and uncomfortable sound.
One ran towards the walls, it's large claws digging into the stone bricks. The monster's heavy frame somehow climbing up. The moment it reached the top, it's large figure towered over us.
Grabbing the unfortunate man, who had just come to our aid, the werewolf raised him up to his mouth tearing his neck apart.
I pulled Sam by his arm, running away from the beast.
"We need to stay and fight", Sam tried to pull away.
"What we need is to regroup and fight together to beat those monsters", leaving no room to complain, Sam too had started running alongside me.
"So where do we find the others?".
"They should be heading here from the city centre".
Though we seemed safe by now, that was only temporary. Hearing the sound of large and quick steps, Sam looked back to see large werewolves breaking into homes and stores.
"Ben, we need to fight".
"We can't".
"We need to", Sam noticed a few other werewolves to the side. "They're breaking into the homes, people are dying. There's probably another one right on our trail, so we either fight or we lose everything".
The soft screaming of women and children, along with the sound of breaking glass and burning fires, were only some of the horrifying sounds that drowned the quiet night.
"Ok, ok, but we can't risk confronting those monsters head on, we can only help the injured and children".
"Good enough, let's go".
- - - - -
"The women and children should follow Ben over there, any injured can come to me for first aid!".
"Thank you young man", an elderly gentlemen spoke as he wrapped a torn cloth around the man's bleeding arm.
"I'm doing what I can", Sam smiled back.
Though the efforts saved many lives, sadly there were still sacrifices that had to be made.
"HELP!", a woman cried, a baby held within her arms.
"Shit, no SAM!", though, it seemed that Sam wouldn't allow that to happen as, in that very moment, Sam had made a choice, his instincts told him he had to do this, if he didn't save the life right in front of him, how could he look his brother straight in the eyes at home.
I ran behind Sam, his efforts to keep the beast at bay, futile.
A fully stretched arm, the beast clawed down with all its might.
"Sam!"
Not like this, NOT AGAIN!
...
I had managed to push him out of the way.
"GO SAM, TAKE THE WOMAN WITH YOU, I'LL BE WITH YOU SOON".
"But!-"
"GO!"
"You better keep your promise!"
At the end of my life, I had finally learned a lesson that the universe had been trying to tell me, all this time.
Never follow your dreams.