You've been here before
Fighting off tears that threaten to roll down your cheek,
And to the floor.
Swallowing down the impending thought that
When they do
You'll silently be admitting defeat
You've been here before.
Thinking that,"they don't understand you and never will".
That thought playing on a loop in your brain
As expected you feel the surge of anger boiling inside of you
Begging you to scream the thoughts you are feeling
And have felt
And will feel
But as expected, you can't
You've been here before
The torturous sound of sobbing
That - although it breaks you to your very core - is coming from you own mouth
The blurry vision of eyes so tired of expelled ever flowing tears
That they have grown red and weak.
And worst of all
The overwhelming selfhate you feel
For allowing yourself to cry in the first place
For allowing yourself to think you couldn't have been able to
And for allowing yourself to forget this experience and
make new, more painful ones
You will always be here.
Because you can't change how you are.
You can't flip off your feeling like a switch,
Even though you really really want too.
You were born emotional.
And might spend this life,
Trying to accept that and
hoping - no praying - others do too,
Because if they don't
Then this is going to be a
Hard, excruciating, seemingly endless road.