You've been here before

Fighting off tears that threaten to roll down your cheek,

And to the floor.

Swallowing down the impending thought that

When they do

You'll silently be admitting defeat

You've been here before.

Thinking that,"they don't understand you and never will".

That thought playing on a loop in your brain

As expected you feel the surge of anger boiling inside of you

Begging you to scream the thoughts you are feeling

And have felt

And will feel

But as expected, you can't

You've been here before

The torturous sound of sobbing

That - although it breaks you to your very core - is coming from you own mouth

The blurry vision of eyes so tired of expelled ever flowing tears

That they have grown red and weak.

And worst of all

The overwhelming selfhate you feel

For allowing yourself to cry in the first place

For allowing yourself to think you couldn't have been able to

And for allowing yourself to forget this experience and

make new, more painful ones

You will always be here.

Because you can't change how you are.

You can't flip off your feeling like a switch,

Even though you really really want too.

You were born emotional.

And might spend this life,

Trying to accept that and

hoping - no praying - others do too,

Because if they don't

Then this is going to be a

Hard, excruciating, seemingly endless road.